Still Lost
by kt2785
Summary: They're back in 2004...back on the plane. The plane crashes again. Some remember that it all happened before. And some don't. Please R & R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OK…so I know that my last story was supposed to be one of my last, but I thought of this, and I decided to start a new story. I'm not sure how long it will be. I was thinking around 20 chapters…possibly. Depending on reviews. Lots of reviews will probably make me write more, but little reviews will probably make me end it sooner. I hope you all like it.**

**What could happen next season? The losties wake up and their back on the airplane. They're on Oceanic Flight 815. This will probably be mostly Skate/Suliet. But there will be a little bit of Jate too. **

**First Chapter-Sawyer's mission is to get to The Other's village and back to Juliet. **

The sensation was somewhat strange. Kate opened her eyes and she was sitting on the airplane. She gasped softly and looked over at the marshal. He was sitting next to her. He had that grin on his face. That "I win" grin.

"You look worried," he said. The plane shook. Kate looked around the plane. Trying to search for everyone else. She saw Jack. He looked confused and shook his head. Sawyer was behind her. She looked over her shoulder. She knew that he wanted to say something. She knew he wanted to scream "this plane is going to crash!" She herself knew that she should say something, but she knew it would just cause a panic. And maybe…maybe the plane wouldn't crash. The plane shook again. This time more violently. Déjà vu. She hated the feeling. She knew that she would have to live through it all again.

"Move toward me," Kate said to the marshal.

"What?" he asked.

"There's a suitcase up there, and it's going to hit you in the head and knock you out," she whispered. "And then the plane is going to crash."

"What?" he asked. "What are you-"

"I'm telling you the truth," she said. He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned toward her.

"What do you know?" he inquired quietly. The plane shook once more and the suitcase fell. The plane was crashing. This time the marshal hadn't been knocked out. He un-handcuffed her from her shackles, but only had time to get one handcuff off. She looked around the plane. As they crashed. She saw that Jack had passed out. She wanted to. She shut her eyes, but the screaming was worse than what she was seeing. They landed.

* * *

She was laying on the beach, next to the marshal. The marshal was unconscious. She saw the piece of shrapnel sticking out of him. She felt sick to her stomach. She heard the screaming. It was all so familiar. She saw Jin looking for Sun, only this time he was speaking English. He must remember too. Shannon was standing next to the plane screaming at the top of her lungs, just like before. Kate assumed that she probably had no memory of what would happen. She didn't care if people knew who she was. She quickly reached over and got the handcuff key. She released the other handcuff and got up. She felt dizzy, but she didn't care. Sawyer was laying on the ground, but beginning to get up. She went toward him as quickly as she could.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "You ok?"

"I have to get to her," he said, standing up and starting toward the jungle.

"Wait," she stated. "Stop."

"If it's 2004, she's still alive!" he exclaimed. "I have to go."

"No," she shook her head. "You can't go by yourself and unarmed. We have to go get the guns-"

"No!" he yelled. "I can't wait for that Kate!"

"She may not even know you exist yet James," Kate whispered.

"I don't care," he murmured. He quickly went into the jungle. Kate sighed deeply. She walked back toward the jungle, and toward where she had first met Jack. Jack was sitting by himself. Looking at the wound. She took a breath and cleared her throat.

"Hey," he sighed. "I'm sorry Kate."

"Don't be," she mumbled. "Whatever happened happened. I thought it would work too."

"I kinda-" he began. "I need your help again."

She knelt next to him and started working silently.

"Do you want me to tell you that story again?" he asked.

"Not really," she answered. "Kinda grosses me out…angel hair pasta? Ugh. We have to go find Sawyer."

"What?" he questioned.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "He went into the jungle by himself. He went back to the other's village."

"That's perfect!" Jack exclaimed. He wasn't mad. He was excited.

"What?" she asked. "What are you talking about?"

"We can ambush them," he said softly.

"Jack," she scoffed. "There are children there. Innocent children. All Sawyer cares about is getting back to Juliet. That's what he wants Jack. He wants to make sure she's alive and ok-But we have to stop him. We have to-we can't let him go by himself and unarmed Jack."

"Yeah," he nodded. "You're right. As usual, you're right."

She finished sewing him up and then they started into the jungle. Kate was looking for the trail. She found Sawyer's boot prints. As they were walking they were both quiet.

"He's right here," she whispered. "The trail is going in a circle."

"He lived here for 3 years, how is he lost?" Jack asked.

"Because they stayed in that village. In that little bubble," she answered. "Besides...he's probably a little distraught."

She heard a noise and held up her hand to stop Jack from talking.

"What-" he began.

"Shh," she said. "Jack-I got this."

"Is it him?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows. They both heard breathing and soft sniffles. She pushed against Jack, keeping him from going toward the noise.

"Stop," she whispered. "He won't even want to see me. I mean…I can handle it alone."

Jack nodded. Kate walked around the tree and found Sawyer sitting on the ground. He quickly wiped his cheeks, hoping that Kate wouldn't see. She sat down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. Surprisingly he turned toward her and put his head against her shoulder. She sighed softly and wrapped her arms around him. He let himself cry, but it wasn't uncontrollable. Tears were glistening in his eyes, but Kate couldn't see. She continued to hold him. She ran her hands down his back and expected that at any minute he would push her away. He breathed out deeply and then looked up at her. She smiled weakly. She ran her hand gently over his cheek. Her touch was almost too soft. Sawyer didn't want her to take care of him. He didn't want to feel vulnerable in front of anyone. He remembered how he felt when Juliet made him open up to her, 3 years ago, after Kate left the island. He scoffed at himself and then backed away. She didn't say anything. She just looked at him softly. She wanted to help him.

"I don't-" he began. "I love her so much Kate. But she-she died not thinking I did."

"I don't think that's true," Kate said softly. She took his hand and squeezed it. He didn't pull away. "You held on to her for dear life. You would have gone down head first before you let her go. She knows."

"She's dead," he mumbled. "She's just dead Kate-"

"What if she's not," Kate answered. "I mean, what if you're right. She might be back at the village and she might remember everything and-but you know we can't go there without some kind of protection. You've seen these people Sawyer. You saw how they were 30 years ago."

"Yeah," he sighed. "She's not a bad person Freckles."

"What?" she asked. "Sawyer-"

"She's sweet, and kind," he interrupted. "And I have to get her away from that psycho."

"Ben?" she asked.

"He kept her," he murmured. "He held her captive. He wouldn't let her go home for 3 years. I want to protect her Kate."

"I know," she nodded.

"But I guess-" he sighed. "I'll wait. I'll wait till the time is right."

"James, I'll help you-" she began.

"No," he shook his head. "I can't-I can't risk you…I can't let you-"

"In case you haven't noticed," she began. "You won't be able to stop me."

"I know," he whispered. "But maybe I can convince you to stay safe. I know that you will do whatever you want."

"When do you want to go?" she asked.

"Today," he answered. "But I know that ain't gonna happen?"

"Well," she began. "Jack's back at camp, taking care of things. People will never even miss us. We just gotta stop by that waterfall and get the case of guns."

"Do you have the key?" he asked. She smiled and pulled the key out of her pocket.

"The marshal was unconscious, so I-" she started.

"You stole it," he smirked.

"Well, it's not like he's gonna miss it," she said.

"And what will Jack think?" he asked.

"I don't care," she shook her head. "Let's go rescue Juliet."

He smiled again. This time Kate saw that he was actually happy. She reached out and took his hand. They both stood up and then started walking toward the waterfall. Sawyer got ahead of Kate. They heard the rushing of water. Sawyer walked faster. He pulled his shirt off before they got there. When they came through the trees, there was no time to be impressed with the beauty of the waterfall. It was just as breathtaking as ever. Sawyer got into the water. Kate followed him, without taking off any of her clothes. She kicked to the bottom, but Sawyer was already getting the case out from underneath the seat. The bodies were there, but they weren't decomposing yet. Kate still felt sick. The case was free from under the seat and Kate and Sawyer both came up for air. Sawyer coughed up some water and took a deep breath of air. Kate took the case from him so he could swim to the side. They got out of the water and Kate got the key out again. She opened the case and they looked down at the guns.

"Should we bring this back to the beach before we go?" he asked.

"Why?" she asked. "Jack knows. We'll leave the guns here. And after we get Juliet, we'll come back and pick the guns up."

"Do you remember how to get there?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "How about you?"

"I think I can figure it out, I was just a little-" he began. "What if she's still dead Kate? What if she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it?"

"We won't know unless we try James," she whispered. He nodded slowly and then shook his head quickly.

"Let's just go," he murmured. She took two guns out of the case and made sure that they were both loaded.

They walked through the jungle. It started getting dark, but Kate kept walking. Sawyer started walking slower until he stopped completely.

"Freckles, stop," he said softly.

"What?" she asked. "Why?"

"Because it's getting too dark. I think we should make camp for the night," he answered.

"Okay," she nodded.

Jack went back to the beach. Everyone had mostly calmed down. Claire was there. She was pregnant again and she was sitting by herself. She didn't seem to know what was happening. Hurley came over to Jack and sighed soflty.

"What's going on Jack?" Hurley asked.

"I dunno," Jack shrugged.

"I thought that you were supposed to change it. I thought we were supposed to be off the island," he said. "I mean. I thought we were supposed to not crash."

"I thought so too Hurley," Jack murmured. "I'm sorry."

"We have to figure out-"

"Hurley?" Sayid asked, walking toward them. "Jin can't find Sun."

"What?" he asked.

"And Locke is gone too," Jin said, coming toward them. "Why?"

"This is just perfect," Hurley murmured.

"And where are Sawyer and Kate?" Sayid asked.

"Sawyer wanted to go find Juliet," Jack answered. "Kate went with him."

"Shouldn't we do something?" Sayid asked.

"Like what?" Jack asked. "Kate didn't want me to come with them. Well…we-we heard him-anyway she thought that it would be best if she was the one to go after him. I think they went to get the guns. They should be fine."

"So what if they don't come back?" Hurley asked.

"We'll go looking for them then," he replied.

* * *

Sawyer and Kate started making a fire. Neither of them talked. Kate still wanted to be able to say something to make him feel better, but she knew he wouldn't feel better until he knew that Juliet was ok. They got the fire going quickly. Sawyer had the lighter in his pocket. He looked strange without his facial hair. Kate almost forgot what he looked like without it. She sat down by the fire and stared at it. Sawyer sat down next to her and offered her a piece of fruit. She took it and sighed softly to herself.

"You've got that look in your eye," Sawyer said. "I know you're dying to ask me something, I'm just not sure what it is. So ask."

"I just-" she shook her head. "I want to know if you were happy. I've been thinking about it for a long time…before I came back I mean. I just-were you guys happy?"

"For the first time in my entire life," he nodded.

"Would you have gotten married?" she asked. "Kids? Never mind. It's really none of my business."

"No, it's really not," he murmured. "But honestly Kate…I dunno. We were leaving the island. I was leaving and wasn't looking back."

"Why?" Kate whispered.

"Because I was stuck here for 3 damn years," he answered with a sigh. "Kate…it wasn't about anything except leaving. I didn't think about you or anyone else. I'm an ass-"

"No you're not," she shook her head. "We just left you here. None of us came back. None of us even tried to look for the island."

Suddenly she started crying softly. The tears were streaming down her face. She wiped them away discreetly. Sawyer moved toward her.

"We left without a second glance," she sniffled. "And then we lied. We told everyone that there were no other survivors. We did it to protect you, but-Sawyer, I'm so sorry."

"Hey," he whispered. He reached forward and brushed his hand gently over her cheek. "It's not your fault Freckles. It's not your fault. You didn't leave me here on purpose."

"I know," she sighed. "I just-"

"Well," he whispered. "I went into that sub without a second thought. It was only when you were put into the sub that I even considered the fact that everyone else was left on the island."

"You forgot we were here?" she asked skeptically.

"No," he shook his head. "It was just that I wanted to get off the island more."

"Believe it or not…I do get it," she said with a nod. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Yeah," he murmured.

"If I hadn't made come back here. If I hadn't made you turn the sub around-" she started. "Would you have just left and started some family with Juliet?"

"Are you asking me this because I didn't want to have a family with you?" he whispered softly. "I mean...because of the way I reacted when you told me you weren't pregnant?"

"No," she said, looking down. "Never mind."

"I told you Kate," he began. "I've done a lot of growing up. Me and Juliet were living together. I don't think I really have to explain much more than that. We were together. Together-together."

"I know," she nodded.

"Yes," he answered softly.

"What?" she asked.

"Yes," he repeated. "Yes. Ok? If me and Juliet had gotten away…we probably would have ended up living together. Getting married. Kids? I think Juliet wanted them, so yeah."

Kate nodded slowly and then laid back to look at the sky. He looked down at her and then laid down too. He swallowed hard and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry if it makes you sad Freckles," he replied. "But that kinda crap happens. Things happen. It's been 3 years. I fell in love with her. That's kinda what happens. You get older and you fall in love and have a family."

"I know," she answered. "I'm glad that you were happy James. I really am."

"Well something tells me that you didn't have a completely miserable life the past 3 years," he said. "So…I told you mine. It's your turn."

"I was a mommy," she whispered softly. She smiled sadly.

"What?" he asked. "What do you mean? What are you talking about? You said you weren't-"

"Aaron," she interrupted.

"Oh," he sighed in relief.

"I told you 3 years ago that I wasn't pregnant," she interrupted. "I wouldn't have lied to you about something like that. Anyway…it was-it was just me and Aaron for a couple years actually."

"You weren't with anyone?" he asked.

"Nope," she shook her head. "Me and Jack-we hung out a couple times but-never seriously. I mean-he was trying to get his life back. I was trying to settle down with Aaron. Claire-Claire is Jack's sister."

"What?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He kinda-I don't know. It was just hard for him to deal with the fact that we left Claire behind."

"But?" Sawyer asked.

"He got over it," she answered. "Kinda. We…we were together."

"Kate," Sawyer chuckled. "You don't have to feel guilty over that."

"I know," she whispered. "But-anyway…it didn't work out."

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Because of you," she replied. He opened his mouth to argue. "Please don't say anything James. I'm not blaming you."

"Really?" he asked. "Because that's kinda what it sounds like to me."

"No," she whispered. "No. That came out wrong. He found out-he found out that I was going to see Clementine. Only I never actually told him what I was doing. I refused to tell him exactly what I was doing. He didn't like it too much. It's kinda when I realized that I couldn't be with someone who didn't trust me."

"You must really miss him," he began. "Even more than I miss Jules."

"I don't miss him," she shook her head. "If I missed him, I would have stayed at the beach."

"Not Jack," he replied. "Aaron. It must hurt like hell."

"It does," she nodded and let out a sharp breath. She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a soft sob. "It does."

He moved toward her and took her hand. She closed her eyes.

"I thought about you," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"Constantly," he sighed. "God. I didn't want to think about you. I didn't want to care. I wish that you had just been another mark, because then-but it doesn't matter. I thought about you all the time Kate. Until one day…I didn't."

"I thought about you too," she whispered softly. She closed her eyes and then opened them again. Sawyer was looking at her. She smiled weakly and shook her head. "We should get to sleep."

"Yeah," he murmured. "You're right."

In the morning Kate woke up and was leaning against Sawyer. She quickly sat up and looked down at him. He was sleeping soundly. She got up and walked into the jungle to find fruit for herself and Sawyer. When she came back Sawyer was sitting up staring at the embers of the fire.

"Fruit," she said softly. She tossed him a piece of fruit and he caught it with one hand. She smiled at him weakly and sat down.

"Can you eat and walk?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Good," he answered. "We gotta get going. I mean…do you mind?"

"No," she shook her head. "Let's go."

As they continued to walk, Kate knew they were getting closer. She went through the trees and they arrived at their destination. Sawyer started going through the trees.

"Stop," she said. "You can't."

"Yeah," he murmured. "And you can't tell me what to do."

"No," she sighed. "I guess I really can't…but do you want to get us both killed?"

"No," he shook his head. "Fine. So what do you think we should do-"

"James?" Juliet's voice whispered behind them. He spun around. She was standing behind them. He quickly went toward her and put his arms around her. He sighed deeply and held onto her tightly. Juliet ran her hand through his hair and closed her eyes. "Hey. It's ok. I'm ok."

"God," he sighed. "Thank God. Thank God you're ok. And you remember me?"

"Of course," she said softly. "I could never forget you."

She ran her hand over his cheek and smiled. He sighed softly and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You look good," she chuckled and ran her hand over his clean shaven cheek again. He smiled at her and kissed her quickly and softly. Kate looked away and looked at her feet. Juliet noticed and backed away from Sawyer. He held on to her waist and looked at her.

"Let's go," he said.

"I can't," she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I have to stay-"

"No you don't!" he exclaimed.

"I have to," she replied. "I can't go with you."

"Well I'm not leaving without you," he said. "The whole reason why me and Kate even came here is to bring you back to camp with us. And I'm not going anywhere unless you come with me."

"Shh," she whispered. "Listen to me. James, I'll be fine. But you have to get the hell out of here."

"What?" he scoffed. "No!"

"Shh," she said again. "Yes. James…take Kate and get out of here. Get away from this village because if he finds you-"

"I don't care," he shook his head. "I don't-"

"Jules?" Tom asked coming into view.

"I'm sorry," Juliet whispered very softly. She pulled the zapper out of her pocket and zapped Kate first and then Sawyer.

**A/N: Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! You're awesome.**

**Two Days Before/Day of the crash:**

Juliet rolled over and moaned softly. She realized that all the pain was gone. She didn't feel like she had just fallen 100 feet down the hatch. She was warm in her bed. The covers were piled around her. She opened her eyes and was back in her bed.

"James," she whispered. She reached her hand behind her, but the bed was empty.

"Who's James?" Ben asked. She gasped softly. She flipped over quickly and looked at Ben. He was standing in front of her with a tray of breakfast food. "Good morning."

"Ben?" she asked.

"Must have been some dream," he smirked. "You were mumbling in your sleep. Did something happen?"

"N-no," she moaned again and sat up, keeping the covers around her. "Ben, what are you doing in my house?"

"I came to bring you breakfast in bed," he said. "You deserve to be pampered."

"Ben-" she started.

"Suzanna tells me that you're reading Carrie," he stated. "Why wasn't I invited?"

"Ben, I-" she whispered. "Please leave me alone."

"Fine," he smirked. "But you've been here 3 years. I think you just need to get used to it."

"I'm used to it," she said. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it. Now leave me the hell alone right now!"

Ben looked shocked that she stood up to him. He left the house with his lips shut tightly. Juliet laid back against the pillows and covered her face with her hands. She let out a sob and sniffled.

"Baby," she whispered. "Where are you?"

She forced herself to get out of bed. She walked to the window. She was on the island in her and Sawyer's house, but it wasn't hers and Sawyer's anymore. She ran to the closet and wrenched it open. There was no sign that a man lived with her. Sawyer's clothes were gone. She sat down on the floor and let out another soft sob.

She slowly came to the realization that she was stuck back on the island with Ben, and with The Others. Then she remembered…the bomb was supposed to stop the plane from crashing. Ben was talking about "Carrie". Was this the day of the crash? She decided to pretend like everything was normal. The book club was going to start. She got dressed and cleaned up the house. When the house started filling with people, she put on a fake smile and waited.

"Juliet, are you alright?" one of the men asked.

"I'm fine," she nodded. "I'm just-"

The house shook. She smiled softly and ran out side. The plane was flying over head. People were all running outside. She felt Ben come up next to her, but she didn't say anything. The plane crashed and she smiled wider.

"Juliet, are you smiling?" he asked.

"I'm going after it," she said, beginning to run.

"No!" Ben exclaimed and grabbed her by the arm. "You belong to me, and you're not going anywhere."

"There might be survivors," she whispered.

"You're right," he nodded. "Ethan! Goodwin! Go."

He held onto Juliet's arm tightly. She tried to twist away from him, but he held on.

"I know you're sleeping with him," he said into her ear.

"Ben," she sobbed. "Let go of me."

"Let's go," he said.

"Where?" she asked.

"I want to show you something," he replied. He took her to Mikhail's house. She didn't want to go. But to see her sister again. Even if it was just for a few minutes. When they got there she felt like she might collapse.

"Who was on the plane?" Ben asked.

"We're getting the information right now," Mikhail answered.

"I want to stay here," Juliet said quickly. "I want to help."

"No," Ben said. "You're here for a different reason."

"Wait," Mikhail said. "I have the first one…James. James Ford. He was banished from Australia the night before…last night."

"James?" Ben asked, looking at Juliet. "What do you know about this Juliet?"

"N-nothing," she half whimpered.

"As soon as Ethan gets back with a report…I'm going to have him bring James to us," he said. "And maybe I can get him to-"

"Don't hurt him!" she exclaimed and then covered her mouth and gasped.

"Who is he Juliet?" Ben asked. "An old flame? I mean we all know you can't keep your hands to yourself. You're sleeping with a married man. So were you cheating on your husband with that James Ford?"

"Ben please," she whispered. "Stop."

"I loved you so much," he said, holding on to her arm again. "But now that I know who you really are…not anymore."

"Good," she sniffled. "Now let go of me."

He let go of her and she quickly ran from the house. She ran all the way home and slammed the door and locked it. She dissolved to tears on the floor. She wanted her James back. She wanted him to hold her. She thought about where he would be right now. Was he injured? She never knew what exactly happened to him that day. Would he even remember the last 3 years of their lives?

That night, she snuck out of her house and walked toward the jungle. She turned around to see if the village was still in view. Instead Ben was standing in front of her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "Going to find your lover?"

"Yes," she spat. "Because he's had more of me than you ever will!"

He reached back and smacked her in the face. Juliet put her hand to her face and let out a laugh. She shook her head and opened her mouth.

"And you keep wondering what I don't see in you," she whispered. "Let me tell you a little something about James. He loved me. He and I took care of each other. He touched me and held me and made love to me. We were going to spend the rest of our lives just loving each other. And then-I dunno…something happened. Something that's impossible to explain."

"You're coming with me," he said angrily, but softly.

He pulled her back to the village and held her hostage till the next day, when she got away.

She got away and ran into the jungle. She hadn't even stepped off the village's lawn when she heard Sawyer and Kate talking.

* * *

The next morning, Jack tried reassuring everyone. Hurley and Sayid were the only ones who had remembered everything that happened. Boone stuck by Shannon's side, but they were constantly fighting. Jack wanted to tell Claire everything he knew, but he didn't know how to.

Claire was sitting by herself. He walked toward her and sat down next to her.

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked.

"I haven't felt the baby move," she replied. "Not since yesterday before the crash."

"Don't worry," Jack answered warmly. "He's going to be just fine."

"He?" she asked.

"Oh, um…just a guess," he said. "Everything is going to work out Claire. I promise.'

"Thanks," she responded. "You um-never mind. You should go check on everyone else. I mean you're our only doctor. Other people need your help-"

"What were you going to say?" he asked. "I got some time."

"Ok," she chuckled. "You just-you remind me of someone."

"Really?" he smiled. "Who?"

"Never mind," she shook her head. "It's stupid. And impossible."

"Well, I know I've never met you," he said. "But-if I remind you of someone…you can't help that."

"You have his eyes," she whispered.

"Whose?" he asked softly.

"My father's," she stated.

"Claire-I-" he started. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" she asked.

"Um…the reason why I look familiar-" he began.

"Dude!" Hurley exclaimed. "Does she remember?!"

"Hurley," Jack sighed.

"Remember what?" Claire asked.

"Nothing," Jack shook his head. "I'm not really sure why I look familiar. And my eyes? Lots of people have brown eyes Claire. I'll come by and check on you later ok?"

"Ok," she nodded. And then suddenly gasped loudly.

"Claire?!" Hurley and Jack both exclaimed.

"No," she gasped again. "No…this is a good gasp. He moved. My baby. He moved-I guess I think he's a boy too."

Jack smiled again and squeezed her hand softly before getting up and leaving. Hurley stayed next to Claire. He noticed that Charlie was standing up the hill watching them. Hurley winked and then waved him over. Charlie was shaking slightly. Hurley quickly stood up and looked back down at Claire.

"I'll be back," Hurley said. "There's something I need to do."

He walked up where Charlie was standing and looked at him.

"What are you doing man?" Hurley asked.

"What are you talking about?" Charlie questioned.

"Look," he sighed. "I know you're detoxing right now. Just…don't go and do anything stupid."

"I don't know what you're talking about. In case you forgot we were all in a plane crash yesterday," he answered. "And by the way…why aren't we trying to go find a way off this damn island.'

"What do you mean?" Hurley asked.

"Well there could be other survivors," Charlie answered. "Or what about the black box. We could just go-I don't know. I just wish there's something more that we can do."

"Do yourself a favor," Hurley began. "Stop doing your drugs. Get over the drugs, and be friends with Claire."

"Is there something you know that I don't?" Charlie asked.

"You might say that," Hurley smirked. "I just know that your drugs aren't going to last forever. And everyone could use a friend.""Thanks mate," Charlie mumbled. Charlie walked away from Hurley and toward Claire. Hurley watched as Charlie sat down and said something to Claire that made her smile.

Sayid was talking to Shannon and Boone. Hurley could tell that Boone was not impressed. In fact, Boone really didn't look happy at all. Shannon was smirking at Sayid.

* * *

Sawyer groaned and opened his eyes.

"Kate?" he asked.

"She's ok," Juliet said softly.

"Juliet!" he exclaimed. "Juliet. Oh my God."

He scrambled toward her and wrapped his arms around her. He stopped hugging her, but then cupped her face and kissed her lips. She kissed him back, but then stopped.

"She's right over there," Juliet smirked. Kate was sitting on the couch. Her arms were wrapped around herself and she looked like she was about to cry. She had that same look on her face as when they were in the cages, only worse.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Why-"

"Because he was going to send Ethan to come get you," she answered. "And-I don't know what he's going to do. I messed up. He knows. He knows about us. He knows you're here. And he owns me James. I'm his. I can't belong to anyone else."

"You don't belong to anyone," he said. "You got me?"

"I love you," she stated. "So…I can't come to see you anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Sawyer asked.

"He knows," she sobbed softly. "He knows I love you, and he's going to hurt you because-so I came to tell you, but now…I can't come to see you anymore. I'm going to tell him to let you go."

"Juliet," he whispered.

"Don't try and change my mind," she said. "You know it won't work."

"I know," he smirked and sighed. "Come here."

"No-" she began.

"Hey," he started. He moved toward her again and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you. And as long as I'm stuck here…Ben won't touch you."

"I have to go," she sniffled. She quickly stood up and left the room without another word. Sawyer was left on the floor by himself. Kate was still sitting on the couch, trying not to pay attention to what was happening. He looked at her and she smiled weakly and then shook her head.

"I'm sorry," Kate whispered.

"Yeah," he murmured. "Me too. I have to leave."

"What?" she asked. "Sawyer you can't! They'll kill you!"

"I don't care," he shook his head. "Nothing matters anymore."

"Stop that," she said, standing up and walking toward him. "Look…I have no idea what you must be going through right now. But-I know that she wouldn't want you to do anything stupid. She would want you to at least try to fight."

"If he lays one hand on her-" Sawyer started with his hands clenched into tight fists.

"Do you really think he would do that?" Kate asked. "I mean I know he's a creep and a jerk, but-"

"It's gonna kill me to be so close to her, but not talk to her or be with her-" he sighed and then stopped talking. "Never mind."

"Let's just wait it out," she said. Sawyer nodded.

"Dammit," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked.

"I hate it when you're right," he whispered. "Can't you be wrong just once?"

She smiled weakly and walked back over to the couch. She sat down and rubbed her forehead. Sawyer walked toward her and sat down next to her.

"Better digs than last time," he murmured. She let out a soft chuckle and shook her head.

"Can't you be serious just once?" Kate asked, slightly mocking Sawyer's previous question about her always being right.

"Nope," he shook his head. "And besides, it made you smile...mission accomplished."

They spent the day together. Neither of them said much. Kate was bored. Sawyer could tell. They were still sitting next to each other on the couch.

"At least last time they had something for us to do to pass the time," Sawyer said.

"I'm hungry," she whispered. "I never thought I'd be craving a fish biscuit."

"Well let's see what we've got," he said standing up and going to the kitchen. Kate watched him. He opened the fridge and let out a small gasp and chuckle. He pulled out a bottle of Dharma wine and held it up toward her. She chewed on her bottom lip and stood up. she walked to the kitchen and sat up on the counter.

"If we're going to be drinking," she began. "I'm gonna need something in my stomach."

"Looks like we've got some mac and cheese...that's about it," he answered.

"Something's better than nothing," she replied. Sawyer made the macaroni and cheese and found some spices in the cupboard to add to it. When it was finished cooking, he handed her a bowl first. He waited while she tasted it. She licked her lips and looked at him.

"It's delicious," she said.

"Thanks," he smirked. "My own special recipie. Salt, pepper, and a hint of cayenne."

"Your specialty huh?" she asked.

"Juliet always made dinner," he replied softly. "But I made the macaroni."

"Sawyer, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Ah," he clicked his tongue and shook his head. "I'm just glad she's ok."

"Me too," she answered and touched his hand. He pulled away and got two glasses out of the cupboard. He poured them each a glass of wine. He lifted his glass and clinked it against Kate's.

"To staying alive," he said.

"And keeping our memories in tact," she added. He smirked and looked out of the window at his and Juliet's house before downing the entire contents of his glass. They stayed up till late at night drinking and talking and getting drunker and drunker.

In the morning Kate woke up. She felt someone holding her. She had almost forgotten what happened the night before. Suddenly she gasped and flipped over. It was Sawyer. Her pajama pants weren't on. She still had her top on and her underwear. Sawyer was only wearing his boxers. She shoved Sawyer's shoulder to wake him up.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed in a whisper. He woke up and looked at her. "What are you doing in here? I mean…you told me you were taking the couch."

"I-" he began. "I was. I-I remember coming in here…I was worried. I don't remember the rest of the night. What happened?"

"Oh God," she whispered. "I don't know. Do you think we…"

"I think I would remember that," he answered.

"Oh God," she moaned. "I was so drunk."

"Me too," he replied. "Haven't drank like that in a long time."

"Yeah," she nodded and sighed. "I don't know. I don't-do you think all we did was sleep."

"It's like I said," he began. "I think I'd remember if we had sex."

"But where are my pants?" she asked. "Where are your pants?"

Sawyer looked around and found Kate's pants in the bed under the covers. He handed them to her and turned a light shade of pink. He looked away when Kate put her pants on, even though she put them on under the covers and he couldn't see anything anyway.

"This is bad," she whispered. "Really bad. I just really want to know what happened."

"I'm beginning to wonder the same thing," Juliet said standing at the door, holding a tray of food.

**A/****N: Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. This chapter is mostly Juliet/Sawyer/Kate stuff, but next chapter will have more of the other people, and even some Jate. I wanted to do an update before the weekend. **

Kate got out of the bed quickly and looked at Juliet.

"Nothing happened," she said.

"You just said you couldn't remember," Juliet replied.

"Juliet," Sawyer started.

"I wanted to-" she began. "Never mind."

"Told you Juliet," Ben said appearing at the door. "He doesn't love you anymore. Maybe he never did."

"Shut up!" Sawyer exclaimed. Juliet began leaving the room. Sawyer went after her and stopped her before she got to the front door.

"James," she whispered. "Please, just let me go."

"No," he shook his head. "Nothing happened with Kate."

"How do you know James?" she asked.

"Because," he sighed sharply. "Even when I'm drunk I know what I'm doing, and I wouldn't do that to you. Stay."

He leaned toward her and kissed her softly. She pushed him away and scoffed.

"Stop," she said.

"Blondie, come on," he whispered.

______

Kate carefully looked at Ben. He smirked and walked toward her. She backed away until she hit the wall.

"Leave me alone or I'll scream," she said.

"Who's gonna care?" he asked.

"Sawyer will," she answered.

"Nothing happened between you two," he told her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing happened," he said again. "We're watching you. We thought that maybe if you got drunk enough something would happen, but it didn't. You never even kissed."

"Why would you make us-" she began. "You really want Sawyer away from Juliet that badly don't you."

"Well, let's just put it this way," he started. "If he doesn't…I'll kill him."

Kate gasped softly and shook his head.

"Why can't you just leave them alone? Leave all of us alone!" she exclaimed.

_______

Juliet stared at Sawyer and wiped the tears forming in her eyes. He stepped forward and cupped her face in his hands.

"You're not going anywhere Juliet," he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her slowly. She kissed him back. Suddenly she became more frantic and kissed him deeper. He pushed her gently against the door and they continued kissing.

"Wait," she said softly.

"For what?" he asked, leaning back forward.

"Ben to leave," she answered. "He'll kill you. He's-he's gonna kill you."

"Sweetheart," he began. "He's not going to kill me. He won't-"

"He will," she nodded.

"Whatever happened happened babe," he shook his head. "In fact, I bet he's just gonna let us go."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "In your dreams."

"Tonight," he whispered and kissed her lips quickly and softly. "You and me…alone."

"Alone?" she asked. "That's not going to happen. Even if I somehow got over here…Kate's going to be here James. I don't want to do anything with you while she's here."

"You're still worried?" he questioned. "Isn't there anything I can say to you that will make you change your mind?"

"No," she replied.

"Ju-" he started.

"No James," she interrupted. "There's nothing you can say. I'm sorry. Listen…I know-I know that you love me. But I also know you love her. I don't want you to lie to me. And whatever you say to me…as much as I love you and care about you…when it comes to Kate, I can't believe you."

"I want to be with you," he whispered. "I want us to spend the night together. Try to get away. I know Kate will understand."

"She's coming with us Juliet," Ben smirked. "Isn't that exciting? You're gonna have a roommate."

Kate looked as if she might throw up.

"You're not taking either of them," Sawyer said, standing in front of the door.

"Oh but I am," Ben answered. He pulled the nightstick out of his pants and hit Sawyer hard. He hit him twice more making both Kate and Juliet grimace. Sawyer groaned, and Ben escorted the women out of the house.

He shoved Kate to the floor when they got to the house. She put her hands down and sobbed softly, but trying to hide it from Ben. Juliet looked at her and then looked at the door.

"Why?" Kate asked softly.

"I don't know," Juliet shook her head.

"I-um…" Kate began. "I might be pregnant."

"What?" Juliet asked.

"I might be pregnant," Kate shook her head. "I mean…I don't know how the whole time travel thing works…I-don't tell Sawyer."

"What?" she repeated. "Kate-"

"I had sex," she interrupted.

"What?" she said again.

"God!" Kate exclaimed. "Can't you say anything else? The night before we came back to the island…I had sex with Jack and-well…now I might be pregnant."

"Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" Juliet asked.

"Yes," Kate sighed. "I have. But-"

"Lemme, just take a crack at this," Juliet replied. "You forgot to take it because of the craziness of coming back here…and well…Jack doesn't know what a condom is."

"Why are you mad at me?" Kate whispered. "I'm just-"

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just-I'm going to lose him. I don't want to lose him Kate. And I'm going to."

"Not if you fight," she answered.

"Yeah," Juliet scoffed. "I have to fight you. That's the whole problem Kate. I have to fight you. His first love. The woman that he jumped out of a helicopter from. The woman that he protected and held on to so tight-Kate, I know that he loves me…but he loves you too…and he loved you first."

"He loved you second," she tried with a soft smile. "And he loves you now Juliet. He's worried about you. And if Ben kills him, wouldn't you want to spend as much time as you possibly can with him…making sure he knows how much you love him."

Juliet nodded and sighed softly.

* * *

Jack walked toward where Claire and Charlie were sitting. He sat down next to Claire."I-um. I need to talk to you," he said softly. "Alone."

"I'm outta here," Charlie murmured. Jack looked at Claire and smiled weakly.

"Are you hitting on me?" she asked.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "No. No."

"Thanks," she chuckled.

"No," he laughed. "I don't think you understand. You're-I've been trying for the past 3 days to tell you something. I just-I don't know how."

"Then tell me," she said. "My baby-"

"No," he shook his head seriously. "No. No. Your baby is gonna be fine. I just-your dad…"

"What about my dad?" she asked.

"What's his name?" he asked.

"Christian," she answered. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Christian what?" he questioned.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "He told me his last name once, but I think he was lying."

"Listen," he sighed. "Christian Shephard is my dad. He's American and he had an affair with an Australian woman 23 years ago."

"Are you telling me that you're my brother?" she asked.

"Yeah," he whispered and nodded. Claire sighed several times and then got up and left Jack alone in the sand. Jack got up and walked over to where Sayid was sitting.

"I think we need to go into the jungle," Jack said. "It's been 3 days. Where are they?"

"Jack," Sayid began. "It does take time. At least a day and a half to get there and a day and a half to come back. Sawyer will take care of Kate."

"I know," he sighed. "I know. I just-I'm worried."

"I know," he nodded. "But…she's gonna be fine."

* * *

"It's gonna be ok," Juliet said.

"Not if Ben kills Sawyer," Kate answered, almost too harshly.

"That isn't what I'm talking about," she whispered. "If you're pregnant-you conceived off the island. So everything will be fine."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I guess I really don't," Juliet murmured. "But I can-I can take you to get tested. How long ago?"

"The night before we left," Kate mumbled and turned a dark shade of pink.

"So what," Juliet began counting on her fingers. "Like 10 days? How do you-"

"I was supposed to start yesterday," she answered. "I know it's only a day…but-it's still scary."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know. You're right Kate. Dammit you're right."

"What?" Kate asked, slightly taken aback and confused.

"I have to go see him," she shook her head. "I'm going tonight. Ben's going to come check on us…I'll go after. I have to. I have to."

"I know," Kate nodded.

That night Kate was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling fan, watching it spin. Juliet was waiting for Ben to come and check on them. She wasn't sure if he would even come now. She thought maybe he was waiting as long as possible.

"I can't wait anymore," Juliet said. "I'm going."

"Be careful," Kate whispered.

Juliet left the house. She ran towards Sawyer's house. She opened the door and ran into the house.

"James!" she exclaimed and smiled. "James?"

She searched the house for him. He wasn't there. She started panicking slightly. She started breathing deeply and trying to catch her breath.

"Ok," she whispered to herself. She ran her hands over her face and then left the house. She ran over to the other house.

"Kate," she breathed.

"It's ok," Kate said calmly. "He's here."

"What?" Juliet asked.

"About 30 seconds after you left, James came running in here, looking for you," she smiled. "I'm gonna leave."

"Kate-" Juliet began.

"Don't try to stop me," Kate answered. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok," she whispered. "Thanks."

Juliet looked slightly confused. She smiled to herself and walked toward the bedroom. She opened the door. Sawyer was pacing back and forth across the room. She smiled wider and knocked on the doorframe.

He turned around and looked at her.

"Nervous?" she asked softly. He shook his head and stepped toward her. Without another word he kissed her lips. She opened her mouth slightly and kissed him back. Pressing her mouth roughly to his. They were quick and frantic. She reached her hand down to his pants and he backed away only long enough for her to unbutton his pants. He rewrapped his arms around her and moved them toward the bed. Sawyer sat down and Juliet backed away and looked down at him. She ran both hands down his cheeks and toward his shoulders. She pulled his shirt up and off. She leaned toward him and kissed him more passionately. She got on top of his legs and he rested his hands on the back of her legs. He reached up and pulled her shirt off. They leaned down onto the bed and continued to make out passionately. She backed away to take a breath.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he told her and ran his hand over her cheek. She kissed him again and shook her head.

"I can't-" she sniffled. "I can't do this."

"What?" he whispered. "Why? Stay."

"I have to go," she sat up and started leaving, but Sawyer held on to her hand and shook his head.

"Don't," he said. "What's the matter? It's us. We were us for 3 years Juliet."

"I know," she nodded.

"I promise you…I'm in this. I'm in it Juliet," he stated. "I mean…I love you. I love you Juliet."

"Why don't I have a nickname," she whispered.

"What?" he asked softly.

"You call Kate, Freckles."

"Ju-" he began.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You call Kate, Freckles...and you say it with such meaning. And it's weird when you don't. And you love her so much-"

"Stop it," he sighed. "Just stop it. That has nothing to do with anything."

"Freckles is endearing," she continued. "It's unique. It's what you call her to let her know that everything's ok. So why don't you have a special name for me James?"

"I don't-" he began. "I don't need one Juliet. It's just us. Juliet and Jim…like that movie Jules et Jim."

"Jules was a man," she whispered with a slow smile.

"Shut up," he said softly, but was smiling. "Come on. Kiss me. You know you want to."

"I do," she nodded. "And-God I want to and I want to make love to you."

"Then come on," he whispered. "You know I love you."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He rolled over and put his hands against hers. She squeezed his hands without intertwining their fingers. She breathed out sharply and stopped.

"Ok," he murmured.

"Ok what?" she asked softly.

"Obviously you don't want to do this tonight," he answered. "So we'll just hold each other ok?"

"No," she shook her head. "No. I want to. I want to."

"Ok," he nodded. He slid his hand down her back slowly. She smiled softly and rolled them to their sides.

She was laying against his chest. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping. She was tracing her fingers gently over his chest. His hands were moving down her back, and down even further.

"James," she whispered. "I don't want this to end."

"It's not going to Juliet," he told her. "It is not going to end Honey alright?"

"Yes it is," Ben appeared at the door. Juliet gasped loudly. Sawyer covered her body with the blankets and wrapped his arms around her.

"Get the hell out of here," Sawyer stated.

"You can't keep me from him anymore Ben," Juliet replied, flipping over to face Ben. "I love him. And I will never ever ever love you. I love James."

"Good," Ben replied. "Both of you need to get dressed. I'll be back in 5 minutes."

"We're not getting dressed," Sawyer shook his head. "We're staying here together for the night."

"And what about Kate?" Ben asked. "Do you really want to risk leaving her all alone? All night?"

"If you touch her-" Sawyer said.

"I won't touch her as long as you do as I say. You're going to get dressed and go back home," Ben stated.

Sawyer grumbled something under his breath. Ben smirked and left the room. Sawyer looked at Juliet and sighed deeply.

"He won't do anything to her," he said kissing her on the side of the face and not getting out of the bed.

"James," she whispered. "Listen. Ben can do whatever the hell he feels like. You don't want something to happen to Kate just because you're too stubborn to get dressed. It's ok. We'll see each other tomorrow."

"You're damn right," he whispered and kissed her lips deeply, but quickly. "We're gonna see each other every single day."

"OK," she smiled and kissed him, but then got out of the bed and started getting dressed. Sawyer did the same and they left the room. Ben was sitting in the living room playing with a deck of cards, but not actually playing a game. Only shuffling the cards.

"You're coming with me," Ben said pointing at Juliet.

"She ain't goin' no where with you," Sawyer stated.

"Did you ever notice that when you're angry James," Ben began. "You get really southern."

Sawyer didn't say anything. Juliet laughed softly but then covered her mouth. Sawyer looked at her somewhat confused and she shrugged.

"It's true," she whispered. "It's ok James. I'll go with Ben. Go back to your house. I'll be fine. I promise. I'll be fine."

He pulled her toward him and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. He rested a hand on each of her cheeks and kissed her sensually. She kissed back and moved her mouth over his. He backed away, but kept his hands cupping her face. She smiled and reached a hand up to his forehead.

"I'm gonna be fine," she whispered. He kissed her forehead and then her nose. Ben looked as if he was ready to break Sawyer's nose. He left the house with Juliet. Sawyer let out a sharp sigh and shook his head. He walked back to the house he was supposed to be sharing with Kate. Kate was sitting on the couch when he came back. She had a glass of wine.

"You're back?" Kate asked. "I thought-"

"Ben came," he answered.

"Did you at least get to say goodbye?" she asked.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. "What on earth are you talking about?"

He was smiling widely waiting for her response.

"Juliet wanted to say goodbye just in case something happened-" she answered and then stopped herself from talking.

"We said goodbye," he nodded and sighed softly. "I don't know what to expect. Ben took her. I'm just-"

"If Ben is possessive as I think…he won't do anything to her," Kate said. "He wouldn't hurt her…would he?"

"Well…if he does…then I'm just gonna have to make sure he pays and dies," he answered.

"I'm really drunk," she stated randomly.

"You should go to bed then," he told her.

"Well," she began. "Last time we ended up in bed and half naked."

"Nothing happened," he replied.

"I know," she nodded. "Ok…you're right. I'll go to bed."

"Goodnight Freckles," he said.

Sawyer slept on the couch. When he opened his eyes he could hear Kate in the kitchen. She was making breakfast. He sat up and looked at her.

"Hung over?" he asked.

"Sorta," she smirked and brought two plates over to the couch. "I was just hungry. I found pancake mix…so. Made some pancakes.

"They smell good," he said."They are good," she answered proudly. "I used to make them-"

She stopped and looked at her plate.

"I used to make them for-" she began again.

"Aaron?" he asked. She nodded slowly and then ate silently. He put his hand on her shoulder and patted it softly. She smiled and shook her head.

"I'm fine," she replied. "He's not even born yet."

"Still," he whispered. There was a knock on the door and then the door swung opened.

"Go home," Ben said.

"What?" Kate asked.

"You can go back to where your plane crashed," he replied. "Go ahead. I don't care. Just go."

"Where's Juliet?" Sawyer asked.

"I sent her home," he answered.

"What?" Kate and Sawyer both asked.

"We have a sub that brings us back and forth between the island and mainland," Ben explained, without really needing to. "I put Juliet on the sub this morning. She'll never be back here."

Kate looked over at Sawyer who looked happy, yet devastated all at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate and Sawyer were trudging through the jungle. Sawyer was breathing heavier than usual. He stopped walking and looked at the sky. She wasn't sure what he was doing, because it wasn't even close to the time when the sun sets. He sighed softly and looked at Kate.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked.

"You stopped," she argued.

"I just-" he sighed. "What the hell am I supposed to do? How are we going to get off the island? I can't do all this again."

"I know," she whispered. "Me neither."

"We had sex last night," he said softly. "Me and Jules."

"I know," she nodded. "You told me."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "You don't-let's just get going."

"Sawyer," she began. He shook his head and started walking again. She started following him, but sighed softly. He was walking more quickly than her. She kept up just barely. They were nearly home when it started getting dark fast. Sawyer stopped walking. He didn't take anymore steps, just sat down on the jungle floor. Kate sat down too and looked at him.

"Do you want to build a fire?" she whispered.

"Not really," he shook his head. "I just want to sit here."

"Do you want me to go away?" she asked.

"No," he whispered. "No."

"James," she began. "I really…I don't know what to say to you. I'm-"

"I don't know what to say either," he interrupted. "Juliet's gone. But she's ok. But…I'm not. I'm just not."

Kate shivered slightly. He looked at her and sighed deeply. He rubbed his forehead and then reached out and took her hand. She looked at him slightly confused.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"It's not the reason you're thinking Kate," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm not ok because-" he began. "Well…I'm not gonna lie…it's because of Juliet, but also-"

"I don't want to know," she shook her head quickly.

"I'm still completely head over heels Freckles," he murmured softly. "I don't want to be. I don't want to be."

"Jame-" she started.

"What was it like?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "I don't-"

"Being off the island?" he said.

"Sawyer-" she began again.

"Tell me," he whispered. "Tell me what you did for 3 years."

"I had Aaron," she answered. "I played house. I-none of it mattered."

"Freckles," he shook his head. "Of course it mattered. Someone had to take care of that little boy."

"But-" she sniffled. "It didn't have to be me. He had family. I only held on to him so tight because-God I don't even know."

"Yes you do," he said, turning more toward her, almost forcing her to look at him. "Why?"

"Because," she shook her head and breathed in deeply. "Because of everything we lost on the island."

"Because of me?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she whispered. "Because of you. Because-of everything I lost that day. I wanted to pretend that-I don't know. We were telling all these lies about how only 8 of us survived the flight. When Jack started telling the story and he said that 8 of us survived, but 2 died on the island...all I wanted to say was that the people who survived were James Ford and Claire Littleton. But instead it was Shannon and Boone. And I wanted to tell them that Claire had the baby on the island I wanted to tell everyone that Aaron wasn't mine, but I-. Instead...instead we told everyone I was 5 months pregnant when the plane crashed. And then we lied about Aaron's birthday. We said he was only 5 weeks. "

"Did you want to be pregnant?" he asked. She shivered again and didn't answer him.

"Don't make me answer that," she said softly.

"Fine," he murmured. "You don't have to talk. I know. You want Aaron. Maybe you're sad about Jack. I don't know. If you want you can go back. I'll just stay here. I'll be back tomorrow."

"I'm staying," she answered swallowing hard.

"Are you going to answer my question?" he asked.

"James," she shook her head. Sawyer saw a couple tears fall. He sighed deeply and shook his head.

"My goal wasn't to make you cry Kate," he said softly.

"I know," she said. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with both of her hands. "God…I'm so sick of crying. I feel like I've been crying for 2 weeks."

"Kate," he sighed.

"I'll be right back," she whispered and stood up. She walked through the trees and away from Sawyer. She breathed in deeply again and wiped her cheeks again.

"Get it together," she said to herself. She sniffled and closed her eyes. A million thoughts were running through her mind. Sawyer was right…she wanted Aaron. But it wasn't the only reason she was crying. She was crying because she thought about what she had told Juliet the night before. Could she be pregnant? She hoped to God not. She thought about 3 years ago when she could have almost been pregnant with Sawyer's baby, but then wasn't. She didn't want to answer his question, because she was afraid of what her answer would be. All she wanted was her old life back. Her life that she had left behind only a week and a half ago. She thought about what she had told Juliet the night before. She put her hands to her cheeks and shook her head. The tears were still falling freely. She didn't want Sawyer to see her like this. He had seen her cry before, but this was different. She composed herself and stopped crying. She walked back over to where Sawyer was sitting. He had started making a fire finally. He looked at her and she sat back down and looked at him. Neither of them spoke.

"I'm crying because-" she began with a soft sigh. "I wanted to be pregnant. 3 years ago…I wanted to be pregnant Sawyer. And not just because-God I don't know. I just wanted something normal in my life. I knew it was the last thing you wanted."

"Kate," he sighed. "It wasn't because I didn't want it with you-do you really think that we were ready to have a baby? A baby Kate? Me and you? We didn't even have a good relationship…how the hell were we supposed to be parents?"

"I know," she whispered and let out a soft sob.

"All it was was sex," he told her.

"It was not," she said closing her eyes.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically. "So then what was it?"

"Sawyer," she stated softly.

"Never mind," he shook his head. "Don't answer that."

"OK," she said. "I want to tell you something."

"Go ahead," he murmured.

"There are different reasons for me to-" she began.

"What?" he asked.

"I mean," she sighed. "When I'm with you, I feel completely different when I'm with you and with I'm with Jack. He's everything you're not."

"Thanks," he scoffed softly.

"No!" she exclaimed. "And you're everything he's not."

"Do you know why I love Juliet?" he asked.

"Why?" she whispered, not entirely sure she actually wanted to know the answer.

"Because you changed me," he replied.

"You mean because she change you," she shook her head. "I didn't do anything. You weren't-it's Juliet. She has this way of-I dunno. She did it to Jack too. He would have done anything in his power to protect her. Juliet is who changed you James."

"No," he shook his head. "You changed me Freckles. Everything changed the second I jumped out of that helicopter."

"You jumped for me," she whispered. "So I would be ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "She thinks I love you more. I made her think I love you more. Because that stupid day. I looked at you. I looked at you when Bernard was talking about just caring about being together. And Juliet saw it."

"It was just a look," Kate told him.

"Juliet didn't see it that way," he replied. "Tell me what you were thinking. That day that Bernard-tell me what you were thinking about?"

"I don't know," she laughed softly at herself. "I was just-I guess thinking about everything that we had all been through the past few days. Do you want to know more about Clementine?"

"None too subtle Kate," he told her. He didn't continue. Kate looked at him. He laid down on the ground next to her and looked into the trees behind her. She laid down too. She rolled on her stomach and used her arms for a pillow.

"She's adorable James," Kate began anyway. "She's so smart. She's the smartest in her class."

"What does she look like?" he asked apprehensively.

"Blonde hair," Kate smiled. "Blue eyes and dimples. She's such a happy kid. She just-she wants-Cassidy never wanted me to tell her about you."

"Did you?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I just-I didn't tell her that you were her daddy."

"I'm not her daddy," he said shaking his head. "A daddy is someone who's been there from the beginning. Always takes care of you. Y'know…even though Ben is a son of a bitch who deserves everything that's coming to him…he didn't deserve to have Alex be executed in front of him. As much as it probably kills Danielle to think about…Alex was Ben's daughter."

"How can you think that?" Kate whispered.

"Aaron was your son," he answered simply. "That's how."

"But I didn't-Y'know, you're just like Cassidy!" she exclaimed. "Cassidy told me I took him! I didn't kidnap him in the middle of the night and take him out of Claire's arms. She left him in the middle of the jungle-"

"I'm not saying that you kidnapped him Freckles," he interrupted. "You didn't. We did find him in the middle of the jungle. We had no idea where Claire went. You are Aaron's mom. You are. But…Ben raised Alex for 16 years. As horrible as the initial intentions may have been…I know he loved his daughter."

"Where is all this coming from?" she whispered.

"I dunno," he sighed. "I was just thinking out loud I guess. I'm just saying…you loved Aaron right?"

"Of course I did," she whispered.

"Then," he shrugged. "Ben can love Alex too."

"I knew it would never last," she said.

"What? Aaron?" he asked.

"Aaron," she nodded. "And Jack too I guess. Jack once told me that you know a marriage is over when the lies start. I started lying to him without even really meaning to. I knew you wouldn't want him knowing about Clementine…so I kept it from him. And we fell apart."

"If you had to do it all over again," he started. "Do you want him back?"

"Aaron or Jack?" she asked.

"Never mind," he said, rolling over. "Goodnight Freckles. See you in the morning."

"I don't know if I can try again," she whispered after several minutes. "I would try again and-but…I don't know everything got so screwed up between us. He didn't trust me and I was lying. And-God, we both just had stuff we needed to work on before we could be together. And now…I'm back here, and my feelings are-I'm just so confused. I know that's not the answer you wanted, but…there it is."

He flipped over and looked at her. Sawyer watched her, and she watched him. Neither of them closed their eyes. Sawyer moved toward her and sighed softly. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, but then opened her eyes again.

"You know what would be really great," she said softly.

"What?" he asked.

"If we had the liquor cart," she stated. "I just want to feel numb right now. Y'know?"

"I know," he nodded. "Me too. I know where it is though remember. I'm the only one who knows."

"Where is it?" she asked.

"We'll go in the morning," he shrugged. "Or maybe tomorrow night."

Sawyer reached forward and cupped her cheeks softly. They were two feet away from each other. He ran his thumbs gently over the undersides of her eyes. She shook her head and started moving away. He moved closer and put one hand on her lower back and the other stayed on her cheek. He continued to move closer to her, slowly. Soon their bodies were almost touching. He leaned forward, but their lips didn't touch. He wasn't coming that last couple centimeters. Was he waiting for her? Did he know that she wouldn't be the one to kiss him first. She closed the gap and their lips touched softly. It was soft and tender. It wasn't passionate. Kate let out a soft quick moan. Sawyer backed away slowly and looked at her. She reached out and took his hand.

"James," she whispered. He closed his eyes and rolled over somewhat quickly. She rolled over too so their backs were to each other. She touched her lips with the tips of her fingers. She didn't think that she would be getting any sleep tonight.

A half an hour later, she was still awake. She knew she would be, but she was tired and she did want to go to sleep. She cleared her throat softly.

"Freckles," he whispered. "You wake?"

"Yeah," she answered softly.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," he said. She flipped over and looked at him. She nodded and took a soft breath.

"I'm-," she began. "I'm sorry too."

"I want to go home. It's just-" he whispered. "I'm comfortable here."

"Here on the jungle floor?" she asked with a soft smirk.

"No," he answered. "Here on the island. It's been my home for 3 years. It's just kinda scary to think I could actually go back."

"I know," she whispered. "I can't imagine-I was only stuck here for 3 months. I can't imagine what it would be like to be here for 3 years."

"Yeah," he nodded.

The next morning Kate woke up next to Sawyer. He was awake. She didn't ask, but she was sure that he had stayed up all night.

"Morning," she whispered.

"Good morning," he answered.

"You ready to go back?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. They started walking again. They were only walking for 5 minutes before they stepped through the trees. Everyone was on the beach, but no one was really noticing. Jack saw them first. Jack went toward them and sighed deeply. He rubbed his forehead. Kate smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Are you ok?" he whispered.

"I'm fine," she nodded. She backed away. Sawyer started walking away.

"Wait," Jack said. "I-um. Kate-Claire's gone."

"What?" she asked.

"I told her," he continued. "I told her that-I told her that I was her brother. She kinda freaked. I didn't mean-God I feel horrible. She went into the jungle and no one's seen her since."

"We have to go find her then," Kate said.

"You two go ahead and do that," Sawyer said somewhat coldly. He walked off toward the beach and sat down by the water by himself.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Kate sighed. "He's-we were in a house together…nothing happened. I-Juliet was there. She remembered everything. Ben wasn't too happy about Juliet being in love with Sawyer. He sent her home."

"Like home, home? Off the island, home?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He's a little-y'know…I don't even know. I shouldn't be-it's really none of my business."

"Well I was actually going to ask if you could go-" he began. "I know it's a lot to ask. But I also know that you would want to go. You want to go don't you. To go look for her?"

"What about Charlie?" she asked softly. "Is he ok? He wasn't taken?"

"No," he shook his head. "Not this time. But it's a different situation. Claire went into the jungle because I told her-I shouldn't have said anything! Dammit!"

"Jack," she whispered. "Come on. Calm down."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Let's both go," she shrugged. "I can be ready in 5 minutes."

"Oh," he shook his head. "Actually I think you should stay here for-"

"You just said two seconds ago you think I should go," she interrupted. "Make up your mind."

"Kate," he whispered. "No. I do think you should go…but I also think you need a break for at least a day. Go…but go in the morning."

"Why should we sit around wasting time?" Kate asked. "We already know exactly where she is. Let's just go. Unless you don't want to go-"

"Well that was actually what I was thinking," he sighed. "Look. Kate, people are really freaked out. They're freaking out about the marshal. And they're freaking out about Boone nearly drowning earlier today-"

"Wait," Kate stopped him. "That happened today? What about Joanna?"

"I got to her," he smiled. "I swam past Boone. I didn't know if I should have, but I did. I got to Joanna, and Boone started swimming back to shore. He nearly didn't make it Kate, but-"

"Oh my God," she whispered. "So that stupid saying…whatever happened happened…you changed it?"

"Yeah," he nodded. She flung her arms around him again and chuckled.

"Oh my God," she said again.

* * *

Hurley saw Sawyer sitting by himself. He walked toward him and sat down next to him.

"What up, dude?" Hurley asked softly.

"Not much," Sawyer murmured.

"So Juliet's gotta still be alive," he said, somewhat abruptly. "That's gotta make you pretty psyched right?"

"Yeah Hugo," Sawyer chuckled. "I'm psyched. She's ok. That's all that matters."

"So then why don't I believe you?" Hurley asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "I couldn't be happier."

Sawyer looked back at Kate and Jack. Kate was smiling goofily. She had her hand in Jack's. He looked back away and shook his head.

"Kate?" Hurley asked. "Dude, you already had the hottest blonde on the island. You still want Kate too?"

"Don't let Libby know that you think some Other is the hottest blonde," Sawyer smirked.

"She wasn't just some Other," he answered. "She was just Juliet. And she was nice to me for some reason."

"Because she's nice," Sawyer replied. "Makes me an ass. Because I-y'know I forced myself to stop thinking about Kate. I hadn't thought about her in…God at least a year. Thoughts of Kate stopped gnawing at me…then she comes back for one day…and everything changed."

"Y'know," Hurley started. "When I mentioned that you two were living together…Kate…her face fell. I know that she still has feelings for you Sawyer."

"Is that what you came to tell me?" he asked, a little harshly. "Because I don't want to hear about it Hurley. I just want to be left alone."

"Hey," Hurley started, angrily. "You're the one who brought up the brunette. Don't blame it on me because you love two women. Y'know…you and Kate are perfect for each other…neither of you can make up your damn mind."

Hurley got up and walked up the beach, leaving Sawyer to contemplate what Hurley had just said. He looked back up the beach at where Jack and Kate had been standing. They were still standing there. Jack reached forward and brushed a piece of hair off of Kate's forehead. She shook her head and the piece of hair fell back in front of her face. She pushed it out of her face again and tucked it behind her ear.

"Are you going to ask Sawyer to go with you?" Jack whispered as he brushed the hair off her face.

"I don't know," she shook her head.

"You should," he said. "I don't want you to go into the jungle by yourself. And…the guns?"

"We each had one," she whispered. "But we lost them when we got to the Other's village. We-we were tasered. The guns were gone in the morning. I know they took them."

"But we still have that case right?" he asked. "Where's the key?"

"I have it," she answered patting her thigh. "And no…you can't have it. If you want a gun…come tell me."

"So now you and Sawyer are the only one's who get to know where they are?" he scoffed.

"They're in the middle of the jungle. Sawyer and I know where they are. And I'm the one with the key," Kate said. "But obviously if you want a gun, you can have one. I just don't think that it's a good idea if people know there's a case of guns. Sorry Jack. We can go to the hatch. There's more guns in there."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I was actually thinking that maybe me and Sayid should go."

"You're serious," she said. "So you'd rather stay here with Sayid than-you know what…never mind. It obviously wasn't important to you-"

She started walking away but he stood in front of her and stopped her.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean," she sniffed. "You wanted to erase our miserable lives. You didn't want to remember any of this. So…why would you want to spend any time together."

"Kate," he whispered. "Of course I want to spend time with you. But-I mean…they need me to stay here-"

"And be the leader?" she asked. "I mean-why?"

"Kate, I need to find out-" he began.

"Your reason for being here," she sighed. "I know. First it was to stop the plane crash-"

"What if Joanna goes into shock later and dies when I'm not here because the doctor wasn't here to save her," he replied.

"You're right," she nodded. "You're right."

"I mean…it's not like we're together anymore Kate," he said. "Remember? You're the one who said it…just because we're on the plane, doesn't make us together. And I guess just because we had sex the night before…we're not together."

He walked away from her and Kate took a deep breath. She knew that he was completely right, but it still stung for him to say it out loud to her. She looked at Sawyer's back. He was sitting alone again. He was still staring into the ocean. She walked the opposite direction and started making herself a tent. She spent the day building her tent, and re-meeting everyone. She remembered meeting Scott and Steve. She watched Sawyer sneer at Neil and wasn't sure why…and Neil wasn't sure either.

She was in her tent laying on her stomach. She started writing Aaron a letter. She had started and restarted the letter numerous times. She didn't know if she should even write it at all. She didn't want the chance that Claire could even possibly find it. She heard movement outside of her tent, but whoever it was, wasn't knocking. They kept walking back and forth in front of her tent, and then in front of the door. She hid the letter under some of her stuff and pulled her tent flap back.

"Jack?" she asked. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I wanted to say goodnight."

"Goodnight," she smiled warmly. "D-do you want to come in?"

"This is weird isn't it?" he chuckled. "Did you realize that you built your tent almost in the same spot?"

"I did notice," she nodded with another smile.

"Kate," he began.

"Don't," she shook her head.

"No," he started again. "I have to. I didn't want to erase our lives Kate. I didn't want that. I just-I've spent the last 3 years feeling guilty. Guilty about all those people who died. That's all. And now…I mean…I know that there were people who died in the crash, but I've been able to save someone so far. I've saved Joanna, so to me…it's been worth it so far. And…well the best part is that I still remember everything."

"You said it was misery," she sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Kate," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Yeah you did," she nodded. "I know you. But it's ok. I'm-I'm just exhausted. It doesn't matter anymore Jack. We're still on the island. There's nothing we can do-"

"I know," he whispered.

"But maybe-I mean…they still have the sub. We could-we can get off. We have to figure out something," Kate said. "Jack…I-I have to tell you something."

"What?" he asked.

"I might-I might be pregnant," she whispered softly.

"What?" he asked. She breathed in deeply and sniffled.

"I feel so stupid," she sobbed. "I shouldn't be-I'm so so scared."

"Kate," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her. "Shh. You don't have to be scared."

"I know," she nodded. "I know you're going to take care of me."

"I will," he answered. He hesitated and then leaned toward her. He kissed her lips softly. She kissed him back quickly and laid down, pulling him on top of her. "Wait. Kate. Stop."

He looked down at her and ran his hand over her forehead.

"I can't do this," he whispered. "We can't do this. We can't be together right now Kate. I have crap to get over and you-"

"What if I am pregnant Jack?" she asked. "What if-"

"Well then we'll figure it out," he answered. "And if you are…then maybe I'll figure everything out by then. Kate, I just can't-I can't do this with you tonight. I just think I would really be better if we were alone."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Ok."

"Goodnight Kate," he said softly.

"Night," she stated.

He left her tent and she rolled over and sighed deeply to herself.

**A/N: Please review! **


	5. Chapter 5

Kate woke up and left her tent. Sawyer was still sitting down the beach by himself. She sighed softly and walked toward him. She sat down next to him, but didn't say anything. He didn't seem to notice that she sat down.

"I saw him leaving your tent last night," Sawyer murmured.

"Sawyer-" she began.

"I wasn't jealous," he shook his head. "But for some reason it just ate at me. I don't want you Kate. I can't want you. But-it just-it kills me that he has your attention."

"James," she whispered. "That's called jealousy."

"I know," he started. "Pathetic. I'm just gonna-I want to be alone ok?"

Kate nodded, and Sawyer quickly got up and left. Kate stood up too and brushed off her pants. She walked back to her tent and started getting a bag of stuff ready. When she was done packing, she walked down the beach. Jack was standing next to Sayid. They were discussing something quietly. Kate was sure it was to do with the hatch. She walked over to them and cleared her throat.

"Kate," Sayid began. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm leaving," she said, mainly to Jack. "I'm gonna go get Claire back."

"Is anyone going with you?" Jack asked softly.

"I don't think so," she shook her head.

"Kate-" he began.

"Jack, I'll be fine," she interrupted. "I just-it's really the last thing Sawyer needs. And honestly, right now I just kinda want to be alone."

"Ok," he sighed. "Kate…seriously be careful."

"You're gonna let me go by myself?" she asked, slightly shocked.

"You can take care of yourself Kate," he smiled. "And as long as you stop by the guns-"

"I will," she nodded.

"Ok," he whispered. "Be safe."

"Ok," she said. "See you in a few days."

She started off into the jungle. She walked to where they left the guns. She sat on the ground and began to load the gun.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sawyer asked.

"Sawyer!" she gasped loudly from being startled. "Jeez."

"Sorry," he murmured. "What are you doing? Kate…what the hell are you doing out here. Jack told me you were…Jack told me you came out here by yourself. Are you crazy? What the hell were you thinking!? Answer me!"

"Stop yelling at me," she whispered. "I'm coming out here to get Claire back."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" he exclaimed still loudly.

"I didn't think that you should have to worry about it," she said. "You said you wanted to be alone."

"Well that doesn't mean that I want you to just risk your life without you telling me. You're out here all by yourself," he said. "Kate…look, I know you don't think that The Other's can hurt you, but…you can still die. And they can definitely hurt you. You can't go out here all by yourself. I'm coming with you."

"Ok," she whispered. "I just-I didn't think that you would want to-"

"Let's go," he sighed. As they walked back into the jungle Kate started laughing softly.

"What?" he asked. "Why are you laughing?"

"This," she began. "All of it. Just being back here. Taking adventures into the jungle again. I dunno. I'm just a little overwhelmed. I don't want to-I hate this. I hate it."

"Freckles," he said stopping, and looking at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Jack," she sighed. "Never mind. I don't want to talk about it. I want to just forget about it."

"Ok," he answered. "Fine."

They walked until it was dark. When they made camp, they knew that they were close to the medical hatch. Kate and Sawyer helped each other make a fire. She laid down and closed her eyes. He looked at her and sighed deeply.

"I hate this too," he shook his head. "I feel like-I'm just-I still love her."

"I know you do," she murmured.

"I really don't think you get it Kate," he sighed.

"Really?" she scoffed. "You don't think that I understand what it's like to feel so completely confused with your stupid feelings! Screw you!"

She flipped over and huffed loudly. She closed her eyes again and then felt Sawyer moving toward her. He put one arm around her. She flinched, but didn't push him away. He put his mouth near her ear.

"I missed you so much," he whispered softly. "I want to kiss you again and again."

She let out a soft breath. She flipped over to face him, and without thinking or waiting she pressed her lips to his. She breathed in deeply and they continued kissing. He flipped over on top of her and she gasped softly. He continued to kiss her mouth and he cheeks. His eyes were closed. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"James," she whispered softly. He ran his hands down her body. She reached her hands up the back of his shirt, but left it on.

"Jul-" he began and then he quickly rolled off of her, and then spoke loudly. "Juliet! Kate. I can't. I'm sorry. I can't."

"I know," she said, wiping her mouth and shaking her head. "What the hell are we doing?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "God. I don't know. I just-do you know how much better things would be if she was still here?"

"The choice would be easy," she responded.

"No," he chuckled. "It wouldn't be easy Freckles. It would suck. But at least…I mean, I feel like I'm completely betraying her. I don't want to be that person."

"You're not," she shook her head. "I have to tell you something. And-I was going to hide it and I was going to lie-but I can't. I have to tell you before I explode."

"Then tell me," he whispered.

"I think I'm pregnant," she said a little too loudly.

"Well, it can't have anything to do with me," he stated. "I mean, we haven't been together since-"

"No," she sighed deeply. "I'm not-the night before we came back. I slept with Jack. I feel so stupid. I don't want to say that it was a mistake…especially if I'm pregnant. But-I don't…I don't know, it was wrong. I did it because I was sad and upset. So now I don't know if I can do it. And-last night he said that we both need to be alone. But I don't-I don't know if I can be alone."

"I don't know if I can either," he whispered softly. She leaned forward and he pulled her toward him and kissed her before she could kiss him. He ran his hand down her back and then reached toward her pants. He unbuttoned them. She looked at him and he ran his hand over her cheek. "I love you."

She leaned up and kissed him again. She lifted his shirt up over his head. He continued to touch her and kiss her, but he didn't seem as much into it as before. She moved herself out of her pants and looked up at him.

"I want this so much," she whispered.

"Then tell me," he said softly and ran his hand over her cheek again.

"What?" she asked.

"If you want to be with me," he said. "Tell me."

"I do," she told him.

"Not enough," he replied.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

"Tell me you love me," he said softly.

"Jame-" she began.

"If you can't tell me you love me, then obviously it's not enough Kate," he said.

"Wh-what?" she asked.

"You don't love me," he shook his head. "And under most circumstances…it wouldn't bug me at all. I'd be with you anyway because I want to be with you so badly. But…I guess Juliet kinda spoiled me. Juliet loved me and she showed me _and_ told me."

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"How many times did you tell him?" he asked. "Did you tell him? Did you tell him every night when you were in bed together?"

"James, stop," she shook her head.

"Because I told her," he said. "I would tell her. And she told me. So I want to know…have you ever even said those words Kate?"

"Sawyer stop it," she whispered.

"Tell me," he said, moving his mouth close to hers, but not actually making contact. "3 words Kate. It shouldn't be that hard."

"But it is," she swallowed hard.

"Fine," he scoffed. "It's probably a really really bad idea anyway considering you're pregnant."

He rolled over before she could argue. Kate looked at the back of his head and waited to fall asleep.

The next morning when Sawyer woke up, Kate wasn't laying next to him. He got up and looked around the vicinity. She wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. "Kate! Listen, I know you're mad, but-Kate!"

He looked down and saw two drag marks on the jungle floor. Kate had been dragged off in the middle of the night, without him so much as stirring. He quickly started following the trail. Every so often the trail would stop, and then start up again. He decided that Kate was leaving him this trail just in case he started following it. He arrived at the medical hatch, just like they had planned to begin with. He carefully went into the hatch and walked down the hall. He looked into the windows of two rooms. The first one was empty, but the second one, Kate was laying on a bed. He opened the door and went into the room.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Are you ok?"

"Sawyer," she smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Guess what Sawyer? Guess what? I'm pregnant. But it's ok. Everything will be ok because they're going to take the baby and I won't have to worry about it."

"Kate," he sighed. "Are you serious? Come on. That's not what you want."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah it is. I want to give my baby away. I can't be a mom. I'm not ready."

"And what about Jack?" he asked softly. "Kate, you're not thinking straight. What did they do to you?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I'm completely fine. I just want to give my baby away. I don't want to be a mom. I can't. I'm not good enough."

"Ok," he sighed. "Kate, we're gonna get you out of here."

"No!" she exclaimed.

"Shh," he whispered. "Look, I know it's scary. I know you're scared. And I know you must be scared about having a baby and Jack, but-let's-let's just go back to the beach. Come on. I want to help you. Come on."

He helped her stand, and she fought him, and finally he held her by the shoulders.

"Kate snap out of it!" he yelled in her face. "They're going to keep you here till you're 9 months pregnant and then they're going to cut the baby out of you. They don't care about you. They won't care if you live or die, they just want that baby. So-we're leaving."

Kate let a soft sob and leaned against him.

"Sawyer," she whimpered.

"Ok," he sighed and rubbed her back. She sobbed against his chest and they started walking. Kate wasn't picking up her feet. She was more dragging them. Sawyer assumed it was because of whatever drug she was on. He picked her up and carried her out of the hatch. He didn't get very far before he had to stop and put her down. He sat down and looked at her. She looked sad and ashamed. She looked down at her stomach and shook her head.

"What's the matter with me?" she asked softly. "I heard what you told me, but all I want to do is go back there. I want them to take my baby. Why?"

"Because Freckles," he sighed. "They brainwashed you into thinking it was for the best. We're going home."

"What about Claire?" she whispered.

"We'll send someone else for Claire. But you need to go home right now. You need to get away from this place, and you need to tell Jack about-"

"I told him," she said."You told him for sure?" he asked.

"Well no," she sighed. "Sawyer…I have to get away from here."

"OK," he whispered. "Come on."

They started walking again. Sawyer held onto Kate's arm gently as they walked. She leaned against him and he put an arm around her shoulder.

"How can you even want to touch me," she whispered with a shaky voice.

"Because if anything happens to you-" he began softly. "Jack would have my neck."

Kate had a feeling he was originally going to say something else, but then he changed his mind. She didn't say anything. She looked up at him as they walked. He chuckled and shook his head.

"What?" she asked.

"Déjà vu," he said. "Only the situation is reversed."

"What" she asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"You helpin' me walk out of the hatch," he stated. "I know it's stupid. But you were helping me walk, you looked up at me just like that."

"Oh," she whispered. She paused for several minutes. "Sawyer. I'm glad you're here with me."

"Me too," he smiled weakly and they continued walking. As it started getting dark Kate slowed down. Sawyer looked at her."Don't you think we should just keep going?" he asked. "I mean…we're almost home."

"I don't feel good," she whispered. She went behind a tree and heaved several times. Sawyer hesitated before walking toward her. He put a hand on her back and she shook her head. Neither of them said anything. She sat down and leaned against the tree and closed her eyes. Sawyer moved toward her.

"You still feel sick?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine," she murmured.

"Do you feel up to walking?" he asked.

"Not really," she sighed. "Sorry."

"It's ok," he answered. "We'll go tomorrow."

"Thanks," she smiled weakly.

She laid down. Sawyer laid down too and looked at her. She closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly. Sawyer watched her sleep and sighed deeply.

"This sucks," he murmured to himself and flipped over.

The next morning Kate was gone yet again. Sawyer quickly stood up. He ran through the trees and bumped into Kate. They fell to the ground and Kate chuckled softly. But then she frowned and started crying.

"Kate?" he whispered. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"I'm not pregnant anymore," she sobbed softly.

"What?" he asked.

"I was feeling sick," she said quietly. "I thought-I thought it was just morning sickness again. But-"

"We're going back," he stated. He started walking in the direction of the medical hatch. Kate followed him.

"You're going the wrong way," she told him.

"No I'm not," he shook his head. They walked much quicker than they did yesterday. They got there quickly. When they entered the hatch there was a lot of noise. Sawyer was sure it was because they noticed that Kate was gone.

"Just-leave them alone!" a voice said. Sawyer turned the corner and saw Juliet yelling at Tom.

"Juliet?" Sawyer asked.

"James," she sighed. "What the hell are you doing back here?"

Kate wrapped her arms around herself and was shaking slightly. Sawyer wasn't sure if it was because she was scared, or cold, or neither.

"Kate-" he cleared his throat. "Something's wrong. Jules…you should-you should look at her. Please? I mean-please."

Juliet lead Kate into a room and shut the door quickly. Sawyer heard it lock behind her. He sat down on the ground outside the door. Tom looked down at him.

"Your girl is pregnant?" he asked.

"She's not my girl," Sawyer shook his head. "But I care about her. More than she will ever know. Ben told me that he sent Juliet home."

"He was going to," Tom stated. "But she promised that she'd stay with him."

"What?" he asked.

"She promised that if she could stay on the island, she would listen to what he had to say," he answered.

"She chose to stay?" Sawyer whispered. "God, why would she-dammit!"

"Because she wants to be able to keep an eye on Claire…and an eye on you too."

"Dammit," he repeated. Sooner than Sawyer expected the door opened and Juliet came out of the room. She shut the door again and looked down at Sawyer. She sighed softly and shook her head. She sat down next to him and closed her eyes.

"She's not pregnant," she whispered.

"She ok?" he asked.

"She was only a few weeks," Juliet answered. "But-she's pretty upset about it. She wanted to be left alone for a few minutes."

"K," he whispered.

"She told me," she said. "She told me about what happened with you two in the jungle."

"Son of a bitch," he whispered. "Juliet-"

"It's ok," she interrupted. "It's ok."

"No," he shook his head. "No, it's not. Juliet, we were together-"

"You and Kate were together too," Juliet said somewhat loudly. "You can both deny it all you want, but when you're having sex with someone…and it's someone that you're in love with…it means you're in a relationship. I know you never actually defined it as that…but we never really did either. We were living together and sleeping together, but-"

"You're my girlfriend Jules," he told her.

"Well, not anymore," she answered.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Why'd you choose to stay if you're going to just stay away from me forever?"

"Because I have to protect you guys somehow," she sniffled. He reached over and took her hand. She squeezed it softly. She looked at him and he began leaning toward her. She put her hand against his chest and stopped him.

"Hold on," she whispered.

"Juliet," he began.

"I have to ask you something," she said. "Are you going to kiss her? Tonight when you go back into the jungle and she's crying and just wants someone to comfort her. Will you kiss her? Do you miss kissing her?"

"Ju-" he started again.

"Just-" she sighed. "Just answer. Please. Please. Will you kiss her and make love to her?"

"No," he shook his head. "Kate needs to be on her own for a while."

"I think you do too," she answered.

"I don't want to leave you here with him," he said.

"I'm going to convince him to let me investigate your camp," she stated. "I'm going to be there."

"How are you going to do that?" he asked. "He knows about us Juliet. You know damn well that he's not going to just let you go."

"I know," she sniffled. "But maybe-"

"Have you slept with him yet?" he asked.

"What?!" she exclaimed "What are you-"

"Tommy boy said you promised to stay with him," he replied. "I just kinda wanted to know what that meant."

"I'm not with him," she shook her head, and tears formed in her eyes. "I don't love him James. You have to know that. I mean…right? You know that I don't love him."

"Doesn't mean you're not sleeping with him," he mumbled. The tears started falling more and he chuckled and opened his mouth. "You did didn't you?"

"W-what?" she whispered.

"You and Ben. You had sex with him didn't you?!" he exclaimed. He didn't wait for any type of answer. "Son of a bitch!"

He quickly walked away and went into the room that Kate was in. He slammed the door hard and kicked the rolling chair, sitting in the middle of the room. It slid across the room and slammed against the wall. He sat down on the chair and put his head down in his hands.

"James," Kate whispered with a shaky voice.

"Sorry Freckles," he mumbled. "I just got some rather disturbing news."

"I want to go home," she told him.

"Me too," he sighed. "Let's go."

"Ok," she whispered. "Will they let us?"

"Well," he breathed out sharply. "If anyone messes with me right now…I'll put my fist through anyone who tries."

"What happened?" she asked. He didn't say anything. He held out his hand and Kate took it. They left the room and Juliet was waiting outside.

"You don't understand James," Juliet whispered.

"Leave me alone," he murmured. He and Kate started leaving the hatch.

"James!" Juliet exclaimed. "James. Please. Please. Don't-don't leave. Don't leave me. Don't hate me."

He stopped walking and turned back around. He stepped toward Juliet and looked at her.

"Yes or no Juliet," he said.

"Yes, but-" she began.

"Then there isn't anything else to say," he replied.

"He made me!" she exclaimed. "James…you have to believe me-"

"He raped you?" he asked. "He forced you-"

"He told me that-he told me he'd kill you if I didn't," she told him.

He scoffed again and walked back over to where Kate was standing. They started back out of the hatch. They started walking. Sawyer was walking very quickly. He was way ahead of Kate. She ran to catch up to him. She took his hand and stopped him from walking.

"Sawyer what happened?" she whispered.

"She-" he breathed. "I can't believe she-god dammit!"

"James," she said softly.

"She slept with Ben," he replied. "She had sex with him. She-God she had sex with him!"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me too," he murmured.

"I have a really stupid request and I-" she began. "I feel like a huge jerk even beginning to bring this up right now."

"Just ask Freckles," he sighed.

"Don't tell Jack," she said softly and painfully. "Please. Don't tell him."

"I won't," he mumbled. "It's ya'll's business, not mine. But Kate…remember that lies don't really pay off. You should tell him."

The next day when they got back to the beach, Sawyer went into the safety of his tent and didn't come out. Kate walked over to Jack. He sighed softly and looked at her. He could tell that she had been through the ringer.

"You didn't get her back," he mumbled.

"No," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Well," he smirked. "We got into the hatch."

"What?" she asked her eyes widening.

"We got in. We got the guns and the food. We pounded on the outside door until Desmond came."

"That's-" she began and swallowed hard. "That's great."

"Kate?" he asked softly. "Kate what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I'm just tired."

"Well don't worry about Claire," he said warmly. "We'll go get her. You should rest. Kate…did something happen out in the jungle with-"

She suddenly burst into tears and wrapped her arms around his neck. He ran his hands down her back and sighed softly.

"You're pregnant," he whispered. "Is that why-"

"I was," she sniffled. "I don't know-Jack. They took me. They took me in the middle of the night and they drugged me and took me into the jungle and to the hatch. They brainwashed me into thinking that it was right to give my baby to them."

"Kate," he whispered.

"Sawyer helped me break free…but when we stopped in the middle of the jungle…I started feeling sick. I started-bleeding. I had a miscarriage. Juliet said it was probably from the stress of escaping…or because it was too soon in the pregnancy. I just-"

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"No," she sniffled and leaned against him. He held her close and twirled his fingers around her hair. She sobbed hard and he held her. Neither of them cared that they were in the middle of the beach where everyone could see them.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry Jack."

"Hey," he whispered. "You don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault Kate. I'm sorry."

"Will you just hold me?" she asked softly. He didn't let go of her. He moved them into her tent.

Later that night Sawyer came out of his tent and went into the kitchen. Hurley was standing nearby. He sighed softly and looked at him.

"So you and Kate in the jungle?" Hurley asked.

"Nothin' happened," Sawyer answered. "By the way, have you seen her? I haven't-I just want to know if she's ok."

"Last time I saw her Jack was helping her into his tent," Hurley replied. "And I'm not telling you this to make you jealous Sawyer…but if you don't watch it, you're going to lose her all over again. I mean…if you want Juliet then I guess it doesn't matter, but-"

"Gotcha Hurley," he sighed. "I don't really need any group therapy."

"If you say so," Hurley mumbled. He walked away, leaving Sawyer to stare at Kate's tent, where he could see two silhouettes laying close together.

**A/N: About Jack letting Kate go into the jungle by herself...I was really torn with that, because it's out of character for him, but I was trying to show that he's changed somewhat, and it wasn't because he didn't care about what happened to her, it was because he was trying for once to just let it go. I also know this was more of a Skatey chapter, but I'm really trying to keep it balanced between Skate and Jate for now. I do know where it's going, but it's still going to be a secret as to who Kate will end up with. Sorry all. But hopefully as my story progresses it will become easier to get who she will be with, because I feel like that's what will happen in the show. I think they will become more obvious with Kate's choice as the time moves on. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed my chapter. I'll probably update on Monday or Tuesday.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok…so I kept you guys in suspense. And this is honestly and truly what my plan was all along. So…**

Juliet walked back to the village and went into her house. Ben was sitting on her couch. She scoffed softly and crossed her arms.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Did you complete your task?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"And he believed you?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she said. "I convinced him. I doubt he'll ever want to come near me again. Now get the hell out of my house."

"What did you say?" he asked.

"He asked me if we had sex," she began. "And I-my silence was enough. Y'know I was really close to blowing the whole thing too, but…I don't want you to hurt him. And you need to let Claire go. Let her go Ben. She needs to be with Jack. She needs the doctor. A real doctor."

"But you are a real doctor Juliet," Ben stated.

"Well the last thing she needs is us screwing with her," she said. "And if you did anything to her-"

"Nothing has been done yet Juliet," he answered. "I was waiting to see if you would actually push James from your life. We made a deal. We'll let her go tomorrow."

"Thank you," she said.

"I'll leave you alone now," he smirked.

"You'll never leave me alone," she whispered. He left the house and Juliet sat down on the couch and put her hands to her face.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to herself, but she was talking to Sawyer.

* * *

Jack ran his hand gently up and down Kate's back.

"Jack," she whispered.

"Yeah," he answered.

"I'm-" she began. "I'm so sorry."

"You've gotta quit blaming yourself Kate," he whispered. "It's not your fault. Do you hear me? This is not your fault."

"No," she sniffled. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. I'm sorry I lied to you and kept secrets. And I'm sorry that we didn't make it work. I'm sorry that I used you the night-the night I gave Aaron away. I was just-"

"Sad," he finished her thought.

"I-" she began. "In the jungle…me and Sawyer-"

"I don't want to know," he interrupted.

"We didn't have sex," she said. "But…Jack, I don't know. When I'm with you…I can't think of anything else. It's just us. But, with Sawyer…it's the same feeling. I don't miss you when I'm with him. I just-"

"But you missed him when you were with me Kate," he whispered. "Otherwise, why would you have gone numerous times to visit his daughter. You thought about him when you were with me."

"No," she sighed. "I-I mean when-when I would be laying in bed next to you. I wasn't wishing that I was with him. I just want to let you know that."

"But last night," he began. "When you were alone in the jungle with Sawyer and the two of you were…doing whatever the hell you were doing…and please, no details. You weren't thinking about me at all-"

"No," she responded. "Last night was about me and Sawyer and that's it."

"What about if he was thinking about Juliet?" he asked.

"He was," she whispered. "It's why we had to stop. He felt like he was betraying her...She's still on the island."

"What?" he asked.

"She's still here," Kate stated. "Ben never sent her home."

"I knew he wouldn't," Jack answered. "This _is_ Ben we're talking about. She was always so scared. She felt like he owned her. That day…when we went to The Tempest…she was so scared about what Ben would do."

"He loves her so much," she said with a small smirk, and also a small shake of her head.

"Ben doesn't love anyone Kate," he scoffed.

"No," she whispered. "Not Ben."

* * *

Sawyer was in his tent. He hadn't come out since he saw Kate and Jack cuddling up in her tent. He couldn't help but think about Juliet in Ben's arms and Kate in Jack's. The thought of it was enough to make him sick. He left his tent and walked down to the water. He pulled his shirt off and went toward the water. He dove under and swam in the salty water. He came up for air and turned over on his back and floated. When he came back out of the water Jack was leaving Kate's tent. It made him feel slightly better, but he didn't want to know what they did. He sat down in the sand to dry off. He heard movement coming from up where the tents were. Kate was leaving her tent and went into the jungle. Sawyer watched her until she disappeared. He had only been sitting there for a few minutes when he heard her come up behind him.

"You ok?" she whispered.

"Not so much, no," he mumbled. "Y'know…when I would think about you at night…it killed me, but-I thought about how you could be happy. You and Jack-"

"But-" she started. "But it was all ok," he whispered. "Because during the day I had other things on my mind. I had things to keep me busy. And then it was Juliet. Juliet was there for me. I don't know, she just…she got it Kate. She got that I didn't want to talk about you, but that just sitting in silence was enough. Then…I dunno. We stopped just sitting. We were sitting there one night and I looked over at her, and she was-her hair was in her face. So I reached over-"

"You don't-" she began.

"I know I don't have to Kate, but dammit, just let me get this out," he sighed.

"I don't-" she started again.

"I don't care if you don't want to hear about it Kate," he said somewhat harshly. "I reached over and brushed her hair out of her face. I left my hand resting on her cheek. And then…I dunno, I just kissed her."

"Um," Kate swallowed. "How did it feel?"

"I dunno," he chuckled. "Horrible…but fantastic. Both."

"Why did it feel horrible?" she asked.

"You know why," he murmured and glared at her.

"Yeah, well," she sighed. "What about the night before last in the jungle…us? How did that make you feel?"

"How'd it make you feel?" he asked.

"I felt like an idiot," she whispered. "And I felt like I was stealing you from her. Even though at the time we thought she was long gone off the island, I felt-"

"I keep thinking about it," he sighed. "About that damn kiss, or whatever it might have lead to. But Kate, I'm kinda glad you couldn't bring yourself to tell me you love me. Because if I don't know your feelings, then there is no us."

"You know how I feel about you," she told him. "You know damn well."

"No I don't," he shook his head. "And you never did answer my question. Did you ever tell Jack?"

"No," she said barely above a whisper. "I never told him. But-"

"But you did love him," he stated. "Maybe you still do."

"Don't make me do this James," she said. "Don't make me chose."

"I'm not," he shook his head. "It's actually not a choice Kate. I love Juliet. I'm not afraid to tell you. So I just want to know-"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Ok! Yes…I would tell him I love him. I _do_ love him Sawyer."

"Thanks for the honesty," he whispered.

"But I love you too James," she said, closing her eyes. "I love you."

He sighed softly and looked away from her. She looked at her feet and then looked over at him again.

"Do you think that Juliet was telling the truth?" Kate asked softly.

"I don't know what's worse," he murmured. "You and Jack or her and Ben."

"Now you're comparing Jack to Ben?" she scoffed.

"No," he shook his head. "But I hate thinking about you and him. When I was with Juliet, it wasn't bad, but seeing you two in your tent, all cuddly-"

"Wait a second," she interrupted. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw you guys in your tent," he began. "You were laying awfully close together-"

"I was crying you asshole!" she asked. "I told him about the stupid pregnancy and he was comforting me!"

She got up and stormed away. Sawyer sighed deeply and laid down in the sand.

"Nice goin' James," he mumbled to himself.

* * *

The next day Sawyer woke up and heard commotion coming from right outside his tent. He stood up and exited the tent. Claire and Juliet were standing in front of him. He looked from Claire to Juliet.

"Claire," he said softly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeh," she nodded. "Sorry. I don't remember anything. I don't remember you. Juliet brought me back."

"James," he told her. "My name's James. Come on…I'm gonna take you to the doctor."

She furrowed her eyebrows and Sawyer smiled and chuckled softly.

"We've got a doctor who crashed in our plane with us," he explained further. "Come on."

He guided Claire to the other side of the beach. He didn't look back at Juliet. She sat down by his tent and started picking up clumps of sand. Kate came out of his tent and saw her. She cautiously walked toward her and sat down next to her.

"So," Juliet sniffed, but wasn't crying. "Did you two-"

"We haven't done anything," Kate responded. "I told him I loved him last night…but he didn't say anything-"

"He's in love with you Kate," she answered. "And right now, he can't even look at me. He just walked off with Claire."

"Claire?" Kate quickly got up and saw Sawyer and Claire walking toward Jack. He had his arm around her to steady her walking. She was smiling at something he said to her.

"He's doing that on purpose," Juliet said. "He hates me."

"Juliet, he definitely doesn't hate you," Kate replied. "He's just hurt. And probably a little bit disgusted that you would even consider-"

"I didn't have sex with Ben," she stated. "It wasn't-I lied."

"Why would you lie?" Kate asked. "Why would you do that to him? That's so incredibly cruel."

"Because he-he has-he has control over me," Juliet said. "It makes me so-who do you want to be with Kate."

"What?" she asked.

"It's a simple enough question Kate," she said. "Who do you love more? Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

"I love Sawyer," Kate whispered. "But I was engaged to Jack-"

"Doesn't mean you love him more," Juliet replied. "Come on Kate. Who do you love more? The heroic doctor, or the-"

"Me and Sawyer," she began softly. "We never had our shot. I know it sounds stupid. But-I just-I wish I had had a shot with him."

They sat in silence. Kate looked back down the beach. Sawyer was coming back toward them without Claire with him. Juliet stood up and walked toward him quickly. She went to put her arms around him, and he pushed her away.

"Don't touch me," he said.

"Ok," she breathed. "James, I know you're mad-but you have to understand I-"

"Leave me alone Juliet," he replied. "Just-"

"I never slept with him," she interrupted. "I didn't sleep with Ben. James, you have to-"

"I don't care anymore," he said. He walked away from her leaving her and Kate alone.

"He doesn't believe me," Juliet whispered. "I was too convincing-"

"I think he does," Kate answered. "Y'know, it's been my experience that you want what you can't have."

Juliet scoffed softly. Kate shook her head.

"Ok," she sighed. "I want what I can't have. When I'm with Jack, I want him and I don't think about Sawyer…and when I was with Sawyer, I didn't want Jack…but when I was alone…I wanted Jack when I couldn't have him…and then when I came back here-"

"Sawyer was taken," she replied. "So are you saying that Sawyer wants me back because he can't have me?"

"I don't know what Sawyer wants," Kate responded. "I don't even know what I want."

"You know who you are Kate?" Juliet asked. "You're weak."

"What?" Kate whispered.

"You're weak, and the only time you can be happy is when you're miserable, and when you're making other people feel miserable," Juliet told her. "Sorry to be blunt. And you know who you want? Well…you want James. You want someone who will make you laugh and make you happy and treat you like a queen. Because that's what it was when we were together Kate. Even though I know that you are the love of his life…he still treated me like a queen. Like I was the only person he could ever love. I know he looked at you that way."

"He used to," she nodded.

"Then he will again," Juliet said. "Kate, I don't blame you for wanting him. For wanting James."

"You don't understand Juliet," Kate began. "The guy I fell in love with…that guy…it's Sawyer."

"What?" Juliet scoffed. "I really don't think you should ever tell James that."

"No," she shook her head. "I love Sawyer. I love James too, but I love Sawyer. I love that Sawyer is flawed like me. He's a murderer like me. He's-I fell in love with Sawyer, but-but James fell in love with me. I was able to break his barriers down Juliet. He told me that he had never been in love. And maybe what we had-maybe it wasn't love, but what he showed me…it sure felt like it."

"It was," she nodded. "Y'know he told me once that he didn't ever think he could feel whole again."

"I guess he was wrong," Kate smiled weakly.

"No he wasn't," Juliet shook his head. "I hadn't seen that sparkle in his eye…till you came back. I mean…I think what we had was real, but he became Jim…I dunno it was weird. When me and James were together, somehow he became Jim. I loved him. I'm glad that there's someone who can love Sawyer. All the little pieces who makes him James. Go talk to him Kate. Tell him how you feel."

"What about you?" Kate whispered.

"Do you really care?" she mumbled.

"Yes, I care," she scoffed. "I don't want to-"

"He doesn't love me anymore," Juliet said.

"Why don't you tell him that?" Kate asked. "I mean…you really know for sure-"

"I know," she nodded. "I know him Kate. I probably know him way better than you do-"

"Then why should he want to be with me over you," she whispered. "I mean…you've been with him for 3 years. You've-"

"I've been with him for a little over one year," Juliet argued.

"But you've had 3 years to get to know him," Kate stated. "You've spent the last 3 years getting to know him and spending time with him every single day."

"Wow," Juliet whispered.

"What?" Kate asked softly.

"You're really jealous," she chuckled.

"No, I'm not," she shook her head. "I just mean…of course you know him better than I do…you've been able to talk to him every day for 3 years…I only had 3 months."

"Well," Juliet whispered. "3 months can seem like a lifetime. Seriously Kate, just go. He doesn't even want to look at me right now."

"Do you want me to tell him anything?" she asked.

"No," she answered. "Anything I have to say will just confuse him, and I want him to just chose now because I can't take much more-"

"Are you staying here now?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "They-they banished me."

"What?" Kate asked loudly.

"Shh!" she exclaimed. "I don't want everyone knowing. Especially not Sawyer."

"What did they do to you?" Kate whispered. Juliet chewed on her lip and then showed Kate her wrist where there was an ugly brand. Kate gasped softly and looked at it.

"You really should have Jack look at that," she said. "And Sawyer? He's gonna be pissed."

"That's why you can't tell him," Juliet sniffled. "Because if he goes there…Ben will kill him. Now please, get the hell out of here and go talk to him."

"Juliet-" Kate began.

"Go!" she exclaimed. "Just go!"

Kate got up and walked down the beach. Sawyer was sitting a long way down the beach. She could barely see him. She continued to walk and finally reached him and sat down without saying anything. He looked over at her and sighed softly.

"So I take it Juliet wanted you to come and make her case?" he asked.

"You really think that Juliet would send me to deliver a message?" Kate chuckled.

"No," he murmured. "I guess not. So then why are you here?"

"She actually told me to come down here and tell you how I actually feel," she answered softly. "And I was going to, but now…I really think I should tell you something first. Do you know how much she loves you James?"

"She loves me," he nodded. "But then why would she sleep with Ben."

"Because she didn't," Kate shook her head. "She didn't James. She had to make you believe she did because she was trying to protect you. She was trying to-"

"She was hurting me to make me stay away," he murmured. "So originally she wanted you to just tell me what you were feeling?"

"I'm not supposed to be completely in love with you," she whispered. "I mean…it's been 3 years. I'm supposed to be over you. I was engaged to Jack. I shouldn't still have these feelings for you. Especially since you're in love with someone else."

"You want to know how I feel?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Like, how I really really feel?" he asked.

"Never mind-" she began, but before she could get the full word out, he leaned toward her and pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back and then quickly backed away.

"I love you," he whispered.

"She's still here," Kate said. "He branded her and banished her. She didn't want me to tell you because she didn't want you to do anything stupid like going back to the village to take on Ben. But I thought you'd want to know that she's here…and I don't think she'll be going anywhere anytime soon. So you love me…but what about Juliet?"

**A/N: Please please review!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

Sawyer looked at her and shook his head.

"Can't this for once just be uncomplicated?" he asked. "Can't I just-"

"I wish," she scoffed. "James, don't you understand that this is completely complicated. There's three people involved-"

"4," he told her. "There's 4 people in this…whatever the hell this is."

"There's 3," she whispered softly. "Jack-he's got his own thing going on. And I know he still cares about me, but right now, the only thing he really wants to do is find his damn purpose on this island. To save the people we lost."

"I want you Kate," he murmured. "I want you so badly. When I'm not with you…I don't think about you. But the second that I see you again, all these stupid feelings come flooding back. And I hate it Kate. I hate that you have that affect on me."

"Y'know," she chuckled. "You have the same affect on me."

"Well then let's just go with it," he said, barely above a whisper. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She let out a soft moan and put her hands against his cheeks and pulled him closer. Then suddenly he backed away and stood up.

Juliet was sitting by herself. She couldn't see where Kate and Sawyer were. She wasn't sure she wanted to see. She looked down at the brand mark on her arm. It was bigger than the one, Ben had put on her hip, it also hurt a lot worse, and was more infected looking. She walked toward the water and started washing it off gently. She grimaced and wiped her forehead. She let out a soft sob. Although she wasn't crying because her arm hurt. She looked down the beach. She didn't want to see Kate and Sawyer, but was fairly disappointed when they weren't there.

"Juliet?" Jack asked. "Juliet what the hell happened to your arm?"

"Hey," she sniffled softly. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Juliet," he whispered. "What happened?"

"Should be pretty obvious," she answered.

"Why?" he asked.

"Be-because," she breathed. "Because he knows. He knows about me and James. He knows that I'll never love him the way I love Sawyer."

Jack let out a soft breath. Juliet could tell that he was slightly jealous. She looked down the beach, knowing that she wouldn't see Sawyer, but hoping that maybe they would be coming back soon.

"Let me take care of that for you," he whispered. "Come on."

She stood up and followed Jack to the medical tent. She sat down on the airplane seat and Jack took her arm gently. He started putting the antibacterial ointment on the wound. She grimaced again and shook her head.

"I don't understand," Jack murmured. "Why would he-I mean…Sawyer was staying away from you. Why would he-"

"Because I told him I wanted to come back here," she answered. "I didn't want to stay away from James. But now…it may have just been better if I hadn't. He still loves her. He still wants her. I know him."

"Well then he's a bigger jerk than I thought," Jack whispered. "He was with you for 3 years!"

"Yeah," she murmured. "But-Jack, Kate has always been his first choice. He has been waiting for 3 years for you to come back. For Kate to come back."

"Did you know?" Jack asked softly. "Did you know he was waiting for her?"

"Of course," she chuckled. "I'm not an idiot."

"But you decided to stay with him?" he whispered.

"I fell in love with him Jack," she answered. "Wouldn't you do everything you could to hold on to someone you loved."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But then where is he?"

"I told Kate to go after him," she said, closing her eyes. "I tried to hold on to him Jack, but y'know I realized something. When they came together back to the medical hatch, and Kate told me that they kissed…I realized that he would always be wanting to kiss her and be with her. I can't be with someone who isn't there."

"Me neither," he mumbled.

* * *

"Kate," Sawyer sighed. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."

She stood up and stepped toward him.

"Yes I do," she said. She stepped toward him again and wrapped her arms around him. "Hmm. It's ok James. It's ok."

They stood and held each other. He ran his hand down her back. She moved closer and pressed her face into his neck. He started kissing her neck and then stopped himself. He breathed softly in her ear. She didn't want to let go, and it didn't seem like he was going to let go soon either.

"You smell good Freckles," he said softly. She backed away and looked at him.

"I haven't showered in 3 days," she smirked.

"I don't care," he replied. He kissed her again. As they kissed she started unbuttoning his shirt. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders and he started lowering down. She lowered down too, keeping their lips touching. They were both on their knees. He ran his hand over her cheek and down her shoulder. He backed away from her and was breathing heavily. He pulled her toward him again and laid down, bringing her with him. She laid down on top of him.

"Hold on," she whispered. He stopped and she quickly leaned away from him. He rested his hands on her legs and looked at her. She stayed on top of him and looked down at him. He kept his hands on her thighs. She breathed out sharply and started standing up. He grabbed her wrist and flipped them over so he was on top this time.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"James," she whispered. "Juliet is still here. She's on the island. She's in our camp. You're going to be seeing her every day. So can you honestly tell me that you won't still want her?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. She got off of him and looked at him. She smiled weakly.

"Then you're not ready for this," she said. "And neither am I. I don't want to get hurt."

"I don't want to hurt you," he shook his head. "I won't hurt you Freckles."

"Then let's just try to be friends then," she answered. "For now anyway."

"Friends?" he asked. "We'll never be just friends Kate."

"Well I said _try,"_ she replied. "Come on. Let's go back."

"Ok," he whispered. He smiled at her and they both stood up. Sawyer put his shirt back on and they started walking back down the beach. She shoved him playfully as they walked and he let out a soft laugh.

"I do love you James," she whispered, as they came nearer to the camp.

"I love-what the hell?" he stopped mid-sentence and saw Jack and Juliet sitting in the medical tent. Jack was holding Juliet's arm gently and looking deep into her eyes. "What are you doing?!"

Juliet looked behind her and Sawyer was coming toward them. He looked at Jack and then Juliet.

"Calm down," Juliet whispered. "He's fixing my arm."

"Let me see," Sawyer said softly, sitting down next to her and looking at her arm before Jack could cover it with a bandage. "Jesus. Are you ok? Are you ok baby? I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," she shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Come here," her whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and she put her head against his shoulder.

Kate walked back to her tent, glad that she decided to stop things before they went too far.

"Are you done yet?" Sawyer asked.

"I was about to put the bandage on," Jack replied slightly awkwardly.

"What did I just walk in on?" he asked.

"Nothing," they both said simultaneously.

"Yeah," he scoffed. "Like I'm gonna believe that. Let's try again."

"Why do you even care?" Juliet said, slightly blankly. "Look, I know you and Kate-"

"Ain't gonna happen Jules," he interrupted. "Me and Kate ain't gonna happen."

"But you're waiting for the right moment then," she stated. "Maybe the two of you are just too messed up right now, but eventually-"

"Fine," he said. "I don't care. Spend the night in his tent tonight for all I care."

He stood up and walked away from them. Jack tried to comfort her with a soft smile.

"You're done," he said, referring to the bandage on her arm.

"I gotta-" she began.

"I know," he nodded. Juliet got up and walked over toward Sawyer. He was sitting in the sand by himself. Kate was sitting up the beach watching. She sat down next to Sawyer and sighed deeply.

"I didn't want to hurt you Juliet," he mumbled. "You're the only person who I've been able to-let myself love. I mean, I'm not going to lie to you, because I do love Kate but I never let myself feel with her. I let her use me because it was easier than loving her and risk getting hurt. You really really didn't sleep with Ben?"

"Are you kidding me?" she chuckled. "No. Even the thought of it-"

"God, tell me about it," he interrupted. "It pissed me off more than anything. He's-God, he's Ben!"

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry I made you believe-"

"Ok," he whispered. "It's ok."

"I have a really dumb request," she mumbled. "And I don't even know-I mean I understand if you don't but I-"

"Juliet just ask," he interrupted.

"Can I-" she began with a whisper. "Can I sleep in your tent tonight…I mean I know it's a lot to ask, but I just really want to-I just want to sleep in your arms one last time, or not in your arms just next to you or something, but I know it's really pathetic, but I don't have a tent yet, and I have to build it, but I don't have time tonight and I just want to sleep with you one last day-"

"Juliet," he shook his head.

"I know," she nodded. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Ok," he whispered and swallowed hard. "Ok…you can stay with me tonight."

That night Sawyer was sitting by the fire. Kate had avoided him the rest of the day, but Juliet was sticking by his side.

"Do you want to go to bed soon?" Juliet asked.

"Not really," he replied, continuing to look at the fire.

"I'm tired," she whispered.

"Then go to bed," he answered. "No one's stopping you."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"No," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just-I'm sorta confused. I know what I want. I know who I want. But the last thing I want to do is hurt either of you."

"Maybe I shouldn't stay with you," she whispered.

"I want you to," he answered. "I'm just going to stay out here for a while. If you want to go to bed, you can go on."

"Ok," she nodded. "Goodnight."

"'night," he answered. When she left he let out a sharp sigh and laid back on his elbows, but continued to look at the fire.

"Sawyer?" Kate said softly. He looked up at her and smirked.

"Hey," he whispered.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," she replied. "And…well, I'm extremely glad that nothing happened between the two of us."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because," she half scoffed. "Your reaction to Juliet hanging out with Jack…and well…I saw her go in to your tent."

"Kate, that isn't-" he began.

"It's ok," she interrupted. "It's fine James. I know."

"Nothing is going to happen," he told her. "She just-she needed a place to stay."

"James," Kate shook her head. "How long did you two live together?"

"Year and a half," he murmured.

"Nothing's going to happen?" she scoffed. "I mean…me and you can barely be alone together without something happening, and we never actually lived together. I mean…tonight, when you go to your tent and lay down maybe you'll have every intention of not hooking up, but…James, I'm not your girlfriend. She is or was or whatever. She's going to put her arms around you and want to kiss you and be with you, and you're going to give in. Because you care about her and you don't want to hurt her by telling her no."

"I don't know what I'm doin' anymore Freckles," he sighed. "I want to be with you Freckles. I want to-but-"

"You don't want to hurt her," she whispered. "Just like I don't want to hurt Jack."

"I mean, if Jack wanted a place to stay…you'd let him stay with you wouldn't you?" Sawyer asked. "Tell the truth."

"I really, honestly don't know," she answered. "I guess."

"You would," he smirked. "Come on, I know you. If Jack was tent-less you wouldn't make him sleep outside in the cold air."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess not."

"Yeah, well, just because I'm letting her sleep in my tent doesn't mean that we're going to end up having sex."

"Well, it's really honestly none of my business," she answered. "So if you do…you don't have to feel bad, but I don't really want to know about it."

"I'm not going to bed yet," he said. "Not really tired."

"Me neither," she whispered. She looked at him, and then back at the fire. Sawyer moved back and laid down. She looked at him, without laying down.

"I thought you weren't tired," she said.

"I'm not," he answered. He looked at her and then sat back up. "You look gorgeous in this light Freckles."

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Don't look so sad Freckles, it was a compliment," he replied.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I know."

"You know what the first thing I noticed about you was?" he asked.

"I'm guessing my freckles," she replied, this time a small smile cracked.

"Ok," he chuckled. "Then the second thing."

"I have no idea," she answered.

"When you shot me that look," he began. "Y'know that look…the look that could kill. Your eyes."

"What was the first thing you noticed about Juliet?" she asked softly.

"Kate, why are you-" he said.

"Because I want to know," she whispered.

"My first impression of her Kate was that she was holding a gun up against you," he replied. "Believe me…my first impression wasn't a good one."

"So how did she fix it?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Didn't you hate her?" she replied. "I mean…I'm not crazy right? You hated her. You didn't want to have anything to do with her. You were pissed when Jack brought her to our camp, and you did everything you could to avoid her. So what changed."

"When the island moved," he started in a whisper. "We were pretty much attacked moments later. By flaming arrows. We started running. Someone right in front of us got hit. And without a second thought, Juliet got to her knees and started throwing sand on him. It didn't really matter because he was already up in flames, but she tried to help him. I had to drag her away."

"Is that when you fell in love with her?" Kate asked. Her questions weren't out of jealousy. They were sincere and honest.

"No," he answered. "I had just lost you Freckles, what do you take me for? I don't know. I just-for the first time I saw her humanized I guess. And then she took care of me. I don't know Kate, I just…I needed someone. I fell for her. I didn't think that I was ever going to love anyone after you."

"Well then I'm glad you did," she said. "I'm really glad that you found someone."

"Yeah," he sighed sharply.

"What, you don't believe me?" she asked. "I'm happy that Juliet was there for you. Just like you should be happy that Jack was there for me."

"He obviously wasn't that there for you if you broke up," he told her.

"Why are you doing this," she whispered.

"Because he hurt you Kate," he answered. "And he broke you apart, so I'm not going to be happy about that."

"What?" she asked. "How would you know-"

"Because when I saw you again," he began. "I knew something happened. I knew he had done something."

"James, it wasn't all his fault. It was my fault too," she said. "I lied to him. Knowing that he had trust issues, and I lied. So when he yelled at me for the truth, it was only because he was-it wasn't his fault James."

"Say what you want," he murmured. "One little fight doesn't cause an engagement to break up."

"Exactly," she chuckled. "Exactly. But for us it did, because we weren't meant to be together James."

"What if we're not meant to be together either?" he murmured. "What if I end up hurting you?"

"If we take things slow," she whispered.

"What if we still don't end up together?" he asked.

"Then at least we'll know," she answered. "I want to try this James. But I know you're not ready. So I'll wait. I'll wait for you."

He reached across the sand and took her hand. She squeezed it and then stood up.

"Goodnight James."

"Goodnight," he answered. She left and Sawyer stood up and went back to his tent. Juliet was still awake. Sawyer laid down and looked at her. He sighed deeply. She shook her head and sat up.

"I'm not going to stay," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it's not right," she shook her head. "I never should have asked you in the first place."

"Come here," he whispered softly. She rolled her eyes and started leaving. He grabbed her gently by the arm and pulled her toward him. "Hey. Come here."

She gave in and hugged him back. He kissed her cheek and sighed softly.

"Stay," he said into her ear.

"I wish I could know you the way she does," she whispered.

"You know everything," he told her. "And I didn't even have to tell you…you just knew."

"Because of those stupid files!" she yelled. He put his finger to his lips.

"Shh," he whispered.

"It's because of those stupid files that I know anything," she said again, this time softer.

"Come on Jules," he sighed. "You know that's not true. What about when I saw Kate in the jungle. When I saw her helping Claire? I told you what I was feeling."

"I know," she murmured.

"So how can you say that she knows me better?" he asked. "_You _know me better than anyone. You even know how I feel right now."

"You're scared," she whispered. "Because you're afraid of making the wrong choice. You're afraid if you pick me, you're going to be wanting her, but you're scared if you pick her, she'll be wishing and wanting Jack."

"See?" he asked. "You know me better than anyone."

She cuddled next to him and he tightened his arms around her. She let out a soft breath and looked at him. He cracked a soft smile.

"And this?" she whispered, but it wasn't really a question. "This is you letting me down easy-"

"Blondie-" he began.

"No," she shook her head. "Just one last night in your arms James. Can't we just pretend for one more night? We're back in our house. We can play house for one night. Pretend nothing's changed."

He kissed her lips softly, but quickly. She stayed where she was, and didn't try to deepen the kiss. She leaned against him, and they both fell asleep without another word.

**A/N: Not much of a note, other than Review review review! Please!!!!! **


	8. Chapter 8

When he woke up in the morning, Sawyer was alone. He looked up and down the beach and didn't see Juliet or Kate. Jack was talking to Claire. He walked toward them quickly.

"Hey," he said. "Have you seen-"

"Juliet walked down the beach about a half an hour ago," Jack interrupted. "I think she needs some time by herself. What happened last night Sawyer? I saw you talking to Juliet and Kate. Didn't really look like you were dumping either of them."

"Well," he mumbled. "I really didn't know how to let either of them down. I didn't want to hurt either of them."

"But you're hurting both of them Sawyer," Claire chimed in. "I know it's really none of my business, especially since I don't know any of you. But I saw Kate last night. And this morning when I saw Juliet, coming out of your tent, she didn't look too happy."

"I know," he mumbled. "Which way did she go? Please?"

"She went that way," Claire answered, pointing the opposite direction down the beach. Sawyer started walking quickly in the direction Claire pointed him. He heard splashing coming from the water. He saw Juliet swimming in the ocean. She was wearing her underwear, but when she saw Sawyer, she quickly dunked under the water. Sawyer stayed up on the beach, and Juliet left the water, but was still covering herself with her hands.

"Juliet," he whispered softly. "Ain't like I've never seen it."

"I know," she said. She started getting redressed, without making much eye contact. When she was finished putting her clothes back on she started standing up.

"Juliet," he began.

"Stop," she replied. "I knew what last night meant. I knew going in, that it was just goodbye James."

"I don't know what to say," he mumbled.

"Don't say anything," she shook her head. "If you say anything, it's just going to make it worse. Just be with Kate. It's what you want James. And I want you to be happy."

"I don't want to hurt you for anything," he said softly.

"I know," she whispered. "I know. It's gonna hurt James. I'm not going to lie. It's gonna kill me to watch you be happy with her. It's gonna suck. But I can handle it. Knowing that you're happy James is all I care about. I don't want to stop you from being happy."

"We were happy Jules," he murmured. "We were happy and together-"

"Were," she interrupted. "We were. But we're not anymore James. I meant what I said before. I know that you'd stay with me if I asked you to, but I'm not going to. I'm going to stay away from you. You have every right to be completely happy James."

She stood up and started walking down the beach. Sawyer watched her leave. He sighed softly and then got up and walked back to the beach. The beach was in full swing with people doing their daily tasks. Kate wasn't anywhere around. He went into his tent and dug in the sand for his stash. He picked up a book and went back outside to read. He stayed out of everyone's way. He didn't see Juliet or Kate the rest of the day.

He looked up and saw Claire sitting in the sand by herself. She looked over and smiled weakly. He nodded at her, but didn't move. Claire started standing up, with some difficulty. She walked toward him and sat down.

"You should be happy," she told him. "We survived."

"Didn't the doc tell ya?" he asked. "I mean, he is your brother."

"I know," she nodded. "What are you talking about though?"

"We've been through this," he whispered. "This crash. It happened before. I know I sound crazy. But we were here before."

"I don't remember, but I believe you," she responded.

"Thanks," he replied.

"Did you find Juliet?" she asked.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"Things didn't go well?" she questioned.

"Not really Mamacita," he said.

"I haven't seen Kate," Claire stated. "Is she ok?"

"Dunno," he murmured. "Haven't seen her either."

"Oh," she whispered. "So have you been avoiding her, or is it that she's been avoiding you?"

"Maybe a little of both," he answered. "I didn't go looking for her if that's what you mean."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I'm not-" he began. "Wait a second. We barely even know each other. Why do you care?"

"Sorry," she said. "I'm-I'm being too pushy. I'll leave you alone-"

"No," he shook his head. "You don't have to-I just wanted to know why you care so much."

"I guess because you're sad," she replied. "You looked so sad reading your book. So I wanted to know if I could help."

"I just broke up with Juliet," he said. "Well…ok, I guess she broke up with me. She said that she wanted me to be happy and she knew I wanted Kate."

"Do you?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I want her. But how would it look? I mean…me and Jules-we were together-I can't just be with Kate and expect everything to be ok."

"But-if it's what you want-" Claire began. "If Juliet wants you to-"

"Be real Claire," Sawyer chuckled. "Juliet doesn't want me to be with Kate. She said she wanted me to be happy, but she also wants me to pick her. It's going to kill her to see Kate coming in and out of my tent. If we're on the beach eating lunch together, Juliet isn't going to be happy for us."

"You want to be with Kate, but at the same time, you don't want to hurt Juliet," she smiled. "And I have this feeling that you don't want to let yourself be happy."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Ok," she nodded. Sawyer looked down the beach and saw Juliet sitting with Jack. He balled his hands into tight fists and looked away. A few minutes later Kate walked toward him and sat down on the other side of him.

"Hey," Kate whispered.

"Hi," he answered.

"Bye," Claire said, standing up carefully and walking away.

"So?" Sawyer asked Kate.

"I saw Jack and Juliet together," she whispered.

"Jealous?" he asked. "Cuz this time I ain't givin' in-"

"No," she shook her head. "They're only talking."

"Where were you all day?" he questioned.

"Just exploring," she shrugged. "I went to the hatch for a little while."

"Claire wanted to know if you were avoiding me," he said. "Or if it was the other way around."

"Well I sorta disappeared this morning," she stated. "I didn't really want to see Juliet leaving your tent. I know that you slept with her."

"No," he shook his head. "We slept. That's all we did Kate. We slept. I mean…I did hold her, but-it didn't-it didn't mean-"

"It obviously did mean something," Kate whispered.

"What did you expect?!" he exclaimed loudly. "That I would just dump her and fall at your feet?! Well I can't do that. Maybe it takes you a few seconds to get over someone-"

"Shut up," she interrupted.

"I waited," he said still talking somewhat loudly. "For 3 years all I wanted to do was see you again. To be able to see you, kiss your lips. And now your sitting right here in front of me and I still just want to kiss you and be with you, but I know I can't."

"We kissed in the jungle," she whispered softly. "Do you remember that?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I remember feeling guilty because Juliet was still in the back of my mind."

They looked at each other, neither of them able to say a word, but neither of them wanting to look away. A sudden screaming laughter made them both look. Juliet was laughing and literally rolling on the ground. Jack was smiling at her. He helped her sit up.

* * *

"How could he leave you?" Jack asked softly.

"I broke up with him, Jack," she answered. "And besides…for the right woman…wouldn't you do anything to get Kate back?"

"No," he shook his head. "I mean-I loved her, but-I dunno. We weren't meant to be together."

"Me and James aren't either," she told him.

"But if he came over here right now and told you that he loved you and wanted to be with you-" Jack started.

"I'd give in," she smiled.

* * *

"What do we do now?" Kate whispered.

"I dunno Freckles," he shrugged. "Juliet and I are over."

"But are you really?" she asked softly.

"What do you mean," he sighed deeply. "She broke up with me. She's over there flirting with Jack."

"But she broke up with you," she began. "You didn't break up with her."

"Because I didn't want to hurt her, but she's letting me off the hook," he answered. "It's not that I want to be let off the hook, but…I don't think she's going to let me want her back."

"Are we going to get off the island?" she asked softly. "Why can't we go and attack The Other's and take the sub? I just-I don't want to be stuck here all over again."

"I know," he whispered. "But that sub…it only holds 5...well including the pilots. So really only 3 of us can get away."

"Well then 3 of us can get away and then come back for the rest."

"How will we decide which 3?" he asked.

"I don't know," she whispered. "But I think we should keep it a secret. If people know there's a sub-"

"There will be a panic," Sawyer finished her sentence and nodded. "But-should we tell Jack and Jules?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe Juliet should come with us."

"Maybe," he murmured. "I don't know if she'll want to. I mean…she wants so badly to get off the island, but if-"

"I'm going," Kate said. "Are you?"

"Hell yes," he nodded. "When should we leave?"

"Tomorrow," she said. "Tomorrow morning."

"Ok," he sighed.

"I'm gonna go tell Jack and Juliet," she said, starting to stand.

"Don't let them talk you out of it," he replied.

She walked toward where Jack and Juliet were talking. She stepped in front of them, but stayed silent. Jack looked at her.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Saw you talking to Sawyer. What are you two planning?"

Kate couldn't help herself but to let out a soft laugh.

"We're going to get on the sub," she said. "We're getting the hell away from here."

"What?" Juliet asked. "You can't. You can't!"

"We're going to get the guns and we'll be fine," she replied. "You can't stop us."

"Ben will kill him!" Juliet exclaimed. "Don't you get that! Do you want him to die Kate?!"

"Of course not," Kate sighed. "But Sawyer can take care of himself. We're going to get off the island with the sub, and then we'll send someone to come get you. We're going to get you guys off the island."

"How?" Jack asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Maybe we can go contact Miles…and Dan…I don't know. We'll figure it out."

"Who's going with you?" Juliet whispered. "You and James…who else?"

"I don't know," Kate answered. "Do you want to come?"

"I'm staying," Jack said.

"Someone who knows this island and who knows what "They" are capable of should stay back," Juliet said. "So I'll stay too."

"Ok," Kate whispered.

"You should take Claire," Juliet said softly.

"No," Jack shook his head. "She could get-something could happen. What if she gets hurt-"

"Jack's right," Kate nodded. "I mean, she gave birth on the island before and the baby was fine. If she comes with us, something could happen. It's going to be dangerous."

"Kate," Jack whispered and stood up. He stepped toward her and looked at her. "Kate, b-be careful."

"Ok," she said. "I will."

The next day Sawyer and Kate were almost to the Other's village. Kate took her gun out and got ready. Sawyer looked at her and took his out too. They headed toward the sub. There were two men standing on the dock guarding the sub.

"You ready?" Sawyer said quietly.

"Yep," she nodded. They moved toward the men.

"Stop right there!" the first one said.

"Don't think so," Sawyer answered, holding up his gun. "We're getting on the sub and getting off the island, and you're going to keep your mouths shut."

"Why should we?" the second said.

"We were sent here by Jacob," Sawyer replied softly. "We're being banished by him. He said we know too much so we have to leave."

"Prove it," the man scoffed.

"We don't have to prove it," Kate answered. "Jacob said. And he said something very bad would happen if you don't listen to us."

He sighed deeply, and pulled out his walkie-talkie. Sawyer knocked it quickly out of his hand and into the water.

"We're leaving, right now," Sawyer said. "No funny business…no trying to get Ben involved. We're going."

He stepped out of the way. Sawyer grabbed Kate's hand gently, and pulled her toward the sub. They climbed in and Sawyer went to the front with the gun still out.

"You're taking us back," Sawyer stated.

"What?" the pilot asked.

"You're the pilot right?" Sawyer asked. The man nodded, but didn't say anything. "Ok…then we're leaving. We're going to where ever this sub takes us. Where does it land?"

"We will land in a small bay in Oregon," he answered.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "Let's go."

Kate's heart was pounding out of her chest. She had no idea what would happen when they got back home. Sawyer saw her shaking. He walked back toward her and they both sat down.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm happy…but look at everything we're leaving behind. Are we doing the right thing?"

"As soon as we get to Oregon we'll go to Ann Arbor," he said.

"What's that gonna do?" she asked.

"That's where Dharma is based out of," he answered. "We can go there and-"

"I thought Dharma was done," she interrupted. "I mean, didn't 'the Others' over take village. Dharma doesn't exist."

"It still does to a certain extent," he murmured. "If we go there and try to find the Degroots…I mean maybe they can help. Maybe they know exactly where the island is-"

"What about Charles Widmore?" Kate asked. "I mean…maybe-if we tell him that we have friends stuck on the island, then maybe-I dunno. Maybe he'll be able to bring the ship and not blow up the damn island."

"I don't know Kate," he whispered. "Seems pretty risky. I'd rather just start with Dharma and see what we can do from there. If that doesn't work…Kate don't worry. They're not going to be stuck on that island for 3 years. I won't let that happen."

She smiled weakly and reached out for his hand. He squeezed it and smiled back**_._**

**A/N:Please reivew!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**2 Months Later**

Sawyer and Kate were doing everything they could to try to find a way to rescue their friends. They had contacted several people who said that they would do a search for a price. Kate had gone to transfer funds and was on her way back home. When she pulled into her driveway Sawyer's car was there. She and Sawyer were friends, and hung out constantly, but weren't actually together. Kate walked up the steps and went inside. She could smell delicious fumes as soon as she opened the door.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. She went toward the kitchen. He was standing at the stove stirring 2 different pots.

"Hey," he said.

"What are you doin' here?" she asked softly.

"What's it look like?" he responded. "I'm making dinner."

"Sawyer, when I said you could use my key whenever, I didn't-" she began.

"Fine," he said. "You don't want my food, I'll just finish up and then get out of your hair. You can't have any."

"Whatever," she scoffed. "You better clean up the mess you make."

"Hey, uh, Freckles…the other day," he began. "I found this."

He handed her a toy car. She furrowed her eyebrows and flipped it over in her hands. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"How is this possible?" she whispered. "We went back in time. I never had Aaron."

"I don't know," he sighed softly. "I actually didn't even want to tell you. I didn't want to upset you."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm glad you did."

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's just a toy car," she shrugged. "But I don't get it. They're looking for the island right now James. Aaron is already born. Claire has already changed her mind. She wants her son."

Suddenly Kate put her hands to her face and started sobbing softly. She walked out of the room and away from Sawyer. Sawyer followed her quickly and stopped her before she went upstairs.

"Hey," he whispered. "Come here."

He wrapped his arms around her. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him back. He rubbed her back gently but quickly at the same time. She sniffled and then backed away.

"Freckles," he said quietly. "It's ok."

"I know," she nodded.

"And hey, they said that they would find the island," he continued. "So they'll find the island and bring them back."

"But I'll never see Aaron again," she said. "It just makes me kinda sad."

"I know," he nodded. "Let's go-"

"Go where?" she asked.

"I'm gonna finish making dinner," he answered. "We'll eat."

"Ok," she nodded. "Thank you James."

He smiled at her and they walked back into the kitchen. Sawyer finished making dinner and they sat down to eat. They talked about their days and talked about what else they could do to rescue their friends. It was a comfortable conversation. After dinner Sawyer wouldn't let Kate clean up. He washed the dishes and then started heading toward the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going home," he answered.

"You're just gonna eat an run huh?" she smirked.

"You want me to stay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Stay. I was gonna watch Dancing with the Stars."

"I'll see you later," he shook his head, and continued toward the door.

"Sawyer," she said. "Come on. Please stay?"

"Fine," he mumbled. "But I'm not going to enjoy myself."

"Fine," she smiled. They walked back to the living room. Kate turned on the TV and leaned against Sawyer's shoulder. He put his arm around her, but only to get more comfortable. She started watching the show, but Sawyer wasn't interested. When the commercial came, Kate looked at him and rolled her eyes. She handed him the remote and he laughed softly.

"I don't care," he shook his head. "I could have left if I really didn't want to watch."

"We can watch something else," she told him. "I didn't know it would be this much torture for you."

"It's not torture," he shook his head. "Like I said…I don't care. I'm here because I want to be Kate."

She looked at him and smiled weakly. She intertwined their fingers together and looked away from him, but didn't go back to watching the show.

"Y'know," she began softly, she still didn't look at him. "It's been 2 months. And we're just-we've just been waiting. I honestly don't know what we're waiting for."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" he whispered. She leaned up, but still didn't look at him. She pressed her lips against his. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. He squeezed her shoulder. They continued to kiss softly. Kate turned her body so that she was facing him. He backed away and looked at her.

"Stay," she whispered softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Stay here," she said. "Stay with me tonight."

He smiled somewhat weakly and ran his hand gently over her cheek.

"Kate, look," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"It's snowing!" he exclaimed in a whisper. She smiled and looked outside. She ran to the front door without getting her coat and ran outside. He came behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"It reminds me of winters in Iowa," she said.

"I've never had a white Christmas," he told her.

"Is that the only reason why you wanted to move to Ann Arbor?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "I just figured that we should be as close to the Dharma people as possible. I mean, they're constantly giving us updates. As soon as we get our friends back we'll move somewhere warm and sunny."

"Well maybe I want my kids to have white Christmases," she stated, and then quickly turned pink.

"Your cheeks cold?" he asked, putting his hands against them. She smirked and looked at him.

"Aaron's never seen snow," she whispered.

"Aaron's only a few weeks old," he reminded her.

"4 days," she told him.

"Oh," he nodded. "Sorry."

"S'ok," she said softly. "I love the snow. It's not sticking yet."

"Maybe we'll have a full blanket of snow in the morning," he stated.

"Are you staying?" she asked.

"Sure," he nodded. "I'll stay."

Kate walked to the edge of the porch and sat down. She watched the snow fall. Some of the flakes were getting caught in her ponytail.

"Do you want your coat?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Well I'm freezing," he complained.

"Wimp," she teased. She looked at him and patted the porch next to her. "Come here…I'll keep you warm."

He smirked and sat down next to her.

"It's not even that cold out here," she said. "See? The snow still isn't sticking."

He looked at her and brushed it out of her hair. He leaned toward her and kissed her lips. They went inside a few minutes later. They went upstairs and were still kissing. Kate's cheeks were still pink, but this time it wasn't because she was embarrassed. She breathed in sharply. He reached his hand to her hair and pulled the hair tie out of her hair. She sat down on the bed and stopped.

"James," she whispered. "Wait."

"I just took your hair down," he smirked. "What am I waiting for?"

"I'm-I want you to stay," she began. "But-can we just sleep? Well…ok, not _just _sleep, but can we just take this really slow."

"Ok," he said softly. He leaned back toward her and kissed her slowly. She moved to the head of the bed and they continued to kiss softly. She stopped them and looked at him.

"I'm serious," she said. "We have to stop."

"Fine by me Freckles," he answered. "You're in charge."

"Why?" she whispered. "Why am I in charge James?"

"Because," he shrugged. "You're the one who wants to stop."

"I don't want you to be mad at me," she said.

"I'm not," he shook his head and ran his hand over her cheek and down her neck. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I asked you to stay," she said.

"Gimme a break Kate," he stated. "I wanted to stay. I've been waiting for you to ask me to stay since we got back."

She smiled at him weakly, and put her head against his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and breathed in deeply. He ran his hand over the back of her head and then looked at her.

"I love you Freckles," he whispered. She smiled and hugged him tighter.

"I love you too," she said softly.

**2 More Months Later**

Kate and Sawyer still continued to take it slow. He occassionally spent the night, and she occassionally spent the night at his house, but they always only slept. They had slowly started spending the nights together more and more often, but always only sleeping. Every time things would escalate something would happen to stop them. They had gotten word that the island was found and they were on their way to rescue everyone. Kate was relieved. In just a few days their friends would be back in civilization.

Kate and Sawyer were kissing. Kate looked at him and sighed softly.

"I can't wait anymore," she said softly.

"Are you sure?" Sawyer asked. She nodded and leaned toward him to kiss him. He looked at her and they kissed deeper and quicker. Kate breathed out sharply and pulled her shirt up over her head. They moved slowly and softly. Neither one of them stopped. Neither one of them wanted to stop.

It was the middle of winter. They slept under the covers and cuddled together. Kate loved these moments. She was never cold with Sawyer sleeping next to each other and holding her.

When she woke up in the morning, Sawyer wasn't in bed. She got up and looked out the window. There was a foot of snow on the grass. Kate remembered loving the winters as a child, but she was ready for warm air and sunshine. She saw Sawyer out in the snow doing something. She walked down the stairs and quickly put her boots on and her jacket. She walked down the front steps and looked at Sawyer.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Don't think I'm crazy ok?" he asked. She furrowed her eyebrows, and he held out his hand for her to take. She walked into the snow with him. He took something out of his pocket and held it tightly in his hand. She looked in the snow and saw that he had written 'marry me' in the snow.

"James," she whispered. "James. Oh my God."

She put her hands to her face. He took her hand and started sliding the ring on her finger.

"Oh my, God," she said again. She was smiling and crying at the same time. "James."

"You wanna answer me?" he smirked.

**A/N: So I hope that this wasn't too quick for everyone. Reviews are love!**


	10. Chapter 10

Kate looked at Sawyer and then back down at the ring. There was a large diamond in the middle, with smaller diamonds down the sides.

"I-" she whispered and looked at him. He was waiting anxiously for her answer. She laughed softly and quickly flung her arms around his neck. He wasn't expecting it and he stumbled backwards, wrapping his arms around her too. They fell into the snow and Kate fell on top of him. She laughed again and looked down at him. He brushed her hair out of her face and smiled at her. She nodded and kissed him softly.

"Yes," she whispered. He continued to look at her and continued to hold her with his arms around her waist. He started sitting up. Her eyes still had tears sparkling in them. He ran the back of his hand over her cheek and leaned forward. He ran his other hand down the back of her neck and she gasped softly from the coldness of it. He smirked at her and helped her stand up.

When they were standing again she jumped up into his arms again. He lifted her up and carried her back up the front steps. He sat her back down and leaned forward. Their lips brushed against each other softly and she smiled.

"I love you Freckles," he whispered.

"I love you too," she said. She took his hands in hers and put them against her mouth. She blew hot air on them to warm them up. "Your hands are freezing. And you hate the snow."

"I know," he nodded.

"So then why did you write in the snow?" she asked with a soft smile.

"Because you love the snow," he told her. "And I was trying to be romantic."

She chuckled softly and wrapped her arms around him. They started kissing and making their way back into the house. The phone was ringing. Kate ignored it as they continued their way into the house and made their way to the stairs. The answering machine turned on and Kate's stomach dropped.

"Hey Kate," Jack's voice said. "I-uh-I wanted-to tell you that we're home."

Kate quickly picked up the phone.

"Jack?" she asked. "Jack, are you there?"

"Kate?" he replied. "Hi."

"Hi," she answered. "You're home? I mean back. Where are you?"

"We're in LA," he stated. "They gave me your number. I know that I shouldn't have called, but I just-"

"Jack," she interrupted. "Of course you should have called."

"Well I know it's been 4 months," he began again. "I just shouldn't be calling you like this but I-"

"I'm glad you did," she whispered softly. She looked at Sawyer and then turned back away. "Is everyone-"

"Everyone is fine," he replied. "Everyone's back. Everyone's here with me. But there's something else."

"Of course there is," she sighed.

"Claire, she um. She's fine, and Aaron's fine, but she still wants to give him up for adoption."

"What?" Kate asked.

"She doesn't, think she can raise him," Jack answered. "And she wants a mother _and_ a father for him."

"I don't know what to say," she whispered.

"Well we're going to come there," Jack said.

"We?" she asked.

"Well," he started with a large sigh. "I want to see you. I know that-"

"I'm engaged," she interrupted.

"What?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she began again. "He proposed to me. And I said yes."

"Oh," he murmured. "I-"

"You can still come," she said quickly. "I mean, I want to see you too, but-but I just wanted to tell you now, that I'm engaged."

"I told Claire about you and Aaron," he told her, somewhat changing the subject. "I told her everything. She somehow believed me. But-Kate she wants you to have him."

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"Don't say no just yet," he answered. "Just-"

"When are you coming?" she asked.

"Whenever," he replied. "We're still at the airport. So-"

"OK," Kate whispered.

"OK, you mean come right now?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she said.

"OK," he answered. Kate hung up the phone and looked at Sawyer. Sawyer didn't look entirely happy. He got enough from hearing her half of the conversation to know what was going on.

"He's coming here?" he asked.

"He," she began. "Um, Claire wants to give Aaron to me."

"What?" he asked. "Why?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't know-I can't-I can't take him from her though Sawyer. I mean, I can't. Can I?"

"What do you want?" he asked. "For once Kate, think about what you want. Don't try to please everyone else. If you want Aaron, then you should have him. You were his mom before Kate. I know I wasn't here, but I bet you were the best mom. And if Claire really doesn't want him, she'll figure out a way to give him away to someone else, and then you'll never know. And you'll never see him again."

"I know," she breathed in sharply. "But Sawyer, he was never even mine to begin with. And I only loved him because I had to."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he asked. "Kate, he was your son. You can't tell me that all those feelings you had for him...all that love and devotion just disappeared."

"Well it didn't," she mumbled. "But I can't, not knowing that Claire is still around. How can I just take him and raise him, when his real mom is still around. Still around and perfectly capabable of being his mom? I mean-I can't. Everyone will hate me. Jack...and especially Aaron. When Aaron is old enough to know...he's going to hate me knowing that I didn't make his mom keep him."

"Kate, you can do it, because she wants you to have him," Sawyer said softly. He stepped toward her and ran his hands down her shoulders. "She wants you to be Aaron's mom. If you don't take him...someone else will."

"And what happens to us?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked back.

"I mean," she began. "Maybe Claire would give me Aaron. Maybe I'll take him and be his mom, but without you it would all be pointless. I know that I'm sad because of Aaron, but if I lost you, it would be so much worse."

"What makes you think that you'd lose me Freckles?" he whispered.

"I don't know," she shook her head. He grabbed her face gently and pulled her into a soft kiss, before she could continue. She kissed him back and he lifted her up easily. She put her legs around him. She kissed him softly and slowly. She breathed deeply and then leaned away. He ran his hands down her back and looked at her.

"You ain't gonna lose me Freckles," he whispered.

He started walking up the stairs with Kate still attached to him. He carried her into the bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. He crawled over her and leaned down. She chuckled softly at him and put her hand against his, but didn't link their fingers. She pushed her hand up far enough so that she could stare at the ring.

"Did you pick this all by yourself?" she asked, beaming.

"Sort of," he smiled too. "I told the guy I wanted to most expensive ring in the place."

"James," she shook her head and sighed. "Why would you do that? You know damn well that, that's not important to me."

"I know," he nodded. "But it's important to me. I want to be able to take care of you Freckles. I want you to know that I can take care of you and buy you the best ring."

"Why is it important to you?" she whispered.

"Why isn't it important to you?" he asked. "Never in my life Kate, have I ever been able to buy beautiful things for a woman and actually want to. I mean...all I ever did was take things from people. I love you Freckles. I just want to show you that you can count on me."

She stayed quiet. Then she leaned forward slowly. It was almost as if she was hesitating kissing him, but she wasn't. She kissed his lips softly at first, but then more roughly. He ran his hands up and down her back and then made his way up her shirt. She sat up and looked at him. His hand was still resting on the small spot on her back where there was a gap between her shirt and her pants. She lifted her shirt up over her head. Since she was still in her pajamas she didn't have a bra on. She laid back down next to him, but didn't touch his lips. He couldn't keep his hand from running up and down her back. He leaned toward her and kissed her. He pulled her toward him and kissed down her neck and back to her lips.

"Do you want to?" he whispered softly.

"Hell yes," she chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

* * *

Kate was laying against his chest. They were both breathing normally. Her hand was stretched out and she was admiring the ring. She looked at it in all angles. He could tell that she loved it.

"Sawyer, this is too much," she whispered.

"No," he shook his head and lowered his head to force her to look at him. "Kate it's just a ring. And you're gonna keep it."

"Exactly," she said. "It's just a ring James. And it's exquisite and gorgeous."

"Well, then you deserve it," he replied and played gently with her hair. She smiled and didn't argue anymore. "We should probably get dressed soon. Jack-o is gonna be here soon."

"It takes 4 and a half hours to get here from LA," she told him.

"Yeah?" he asked. "Freckles, look at the time. We've been in this bed for a while."

She flipped over and looked at the clock behind her. It had been 5 hours since she got off the phone with Jack. She didn't know if he had gotten a flight right after she hung up with him, but she was still embarrassed that she had spent most of the day in bed without noticing just how long it had been. She laughed softly and put her hands to her face.

"Your son should be here soon," he whispered in her ear.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Don't. I don't want-I don't want to think about it because I'm not taking him. His mom is alive and well, I'm not taking him from her. I can't!"

"Okay," he whispered.

"I'm not," she said calmer.

An hour later Jack called from the airport and said that he was in Ann Arbor. Kate gave him directions to the house. Sawyer was watching her out of the corner of his eye when she was talking to Jack. He looked away when she hung up. She walked toward him and sat down next to him. Then she sighed softly and moved to his lap. He rested his hand on her back and smiled weakly at her.

"Um," she began quietly. "Juliet is with them."

"What?" he said.

"She's with them," she sighed deeply and slid off Sawyer's lap and to the spot next to him.

"Why?" he asked, somewhat angrily. "Did Jack tell you that she'd be coming with them?"

"No," she answered quickly. "I had no idea. All he told me before was that they were all back. I mean I did assume that Juliet was back too, but he didn't tell me that Juliet was coming with them to Ann Arbor. Maybe she wants to-I don't know. They're gonna be here soon."

Sawyer looked like he might hit something. Kate knew that something more was going on, but she didn't want to ask him what it was. She started picking up the house somewhat, knowing that they would be there soon. Only 15 minutes passed before the doorbell rang. Kate walked toward the door and opened it. Sawyer came up behind her. Claire and Aaron were standing directly in front of them. Aaron was sleeping in Claire's arms. Kate smiled at the sight and welcomed Claire, Jack, and Juliet all into the house.

"Hi," Kate whispered. She hugged everyone, including Juliet. Sawyer stood somewhat awkwardly behind her. He didn't say anything, but his lips were still pursed as if he was still pissed. He moved back and forth on his feet and looked at Juliet. Then he shook his head and looked away.

"Did you find your destiny?" Sawyer asked Jack, coldly.

"Leave him alone James," Juliet whispered. "We chose to stay. Just like you chose to leave. We all chose to stay."

"Whatever," he murmured. He reached out and took Kate's hand in his. Juliet stared at their hands linked together. Kate would have pulled away, but at the same time she wanted to comfort Sawyer, and keep him from being mad. Jack was looking at Kate's other hand. The one with the ring. He couldn't take his eyes off of it. Kate looked up at Claire and Aaron.

"Do you want to hold him?" Claire asked softly. Kate wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled. Without waiting for Kate to answer her Claire tipped Aaron toward her, forcing Kate to drop Sawyer's hand and hold her arms out for Aaron. He was two months old. Kate looked at him and smiled weakly.

"Hi," she whispered weakly. "Hi honey."

She looked up at Claire. Claire was smiling widely. Kate quickly handed Aaron back to Claire and ran up the stairs. Claire looked at Sawyer and smiled.

"Here," she said. "Take him. After all-"

Claire didn't finish her sentence before handing the baby over to Sawyer. Sawyer took the baby and his eyes went wide. He looked at Claire nervously and smiled weakly. Aaron made a cooing sound, which made Sawyer look down at him. Aaron started fussing slightly.

"I'm gonna see if she's ok," Jack said. Sawyer shook his head.

"Leave her be," he started. "She's just-"

"No," Jack shook his head.

"Yes!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Leave her alone Jack. She's freaking out. She doesn't know-she doesn't know what to do. She's scared. She wants Aaron. I can see it in her eyes. She wants him so badly Claire. But she doesn't feel like she can take him. She-she's confused."

"What is she scared of?" Claire whispered. "I want her to have him."

"I know," he said. "But she doesn't want to take him Clairie."

He handed Aaron quickly back to Claire. Jack went up the stairs anyway. Sawyer sighed softly and shook his head. Claire looked as if she might cry.

"Why doesn't she want him?" Claire asked.

"That's not it," he whispered. "I just told you Claire. She wants him. She wants him so much, but she-she remembers how much you wanted him too. 3 years ago when you first had him-"

"I was always going to give him up!" she said. "I didn't want him-"

"But 3 years ago you changed your mind" he began. "Claire, I know this must be confusing...but 3 years ago...the first time you gave birth...you changed your mind. You decided that you wanted to keep him forever."

"Well now I want Kate to have him," she answered. "Sawyer...I can't do this. I can't be a mother."

"What about for the past 2 months?" he asked. "You've been the one taking care of him right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I always planned to give him up. Even for the past 2 months...I haven't let myself get too attached because Jack assured me that we'd get rescued. I can't-can I just talk to her about it? I mean-"

"Of course," Sawyer answered. "But don't be surprised if she doesn't change her mind. Kate's a little hard headed. She's not going to want to keep him from you. Not when you're here and you're alive."

"Fine," Claire mumbled. Juliet was still standing in the room. She had her arms crossed and looked as if she might cry. Sawyer walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back and then said something into his ear, but he didn't understand her because she was pushing her face so hard against his chest.

"What?" he asked.

"I saw your front yard," she whispered. "When did you do it?"

"This morning," he told her.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Congratulations then."

"Jul-" he began.

"Never mind," she shook her head. "I never should have come with them. I should have just gone to-"

"Your dads," he scoffed. "I can't believe that you're going to his house! Not after what he did-"

"Wouldn't you?" she asked. "James, I haven't seen him for over 20 years. I just want to-"

"The way he treated you," he shook his head. "Why would you want to re-live that?"

"I just want to ask him why," she sniffled.

* * *

Jack went up the stairs. Kate was sitting on the steps when he came around the corner.

"You ok?" he asked. She was twisting the ring around her finger and looking at it.

"I can't have that baby," she shook her head and stopped looking at the ring, but still didn't look up at Jack. "I just can't."

"Claire's been great with him," Jack replied.

"Yeah," she murmured.

"But," he continued. "She talks all the time about how she would never be a good mother in the real world. She said the the only reason she was a good mom on the island was because she didn't have a choice."

"Is everyone alive?" she asked softly.

"Charlie, Boone, Shannon, Ana," he smiled. "Eko. Everyone. All of the people we lost Kate."

"Good," she smiled back.

"He wrote Marry Me in the snow?" Jack asked softly. He didn't need to ask. Kate knew this, but she nodded.

"Yeah," she looked back at the ring and fiddled with it again. Then she looked back at Jack.

"Good idea," he murmured. "Better than mine."

"Jack," she whispered. "I'm not taking Aaron from Claire. I know you're trying to change the subject and then somehow do some Jedi-mind trick to get me to change my mind. He's not mine to take."

"She asked me-" he sighed. "I told her about how you were his mom. She asked me if you loved him and took care of him. I told her that you were the best mom Aaron could have had."

"Why?" she asked. "Why would you tell her that? I'm not even related to him. Right?"

"Kate, I was drunk-" he began.

"No!" she exclaimed. "That's not an excuse! You were right. You were right Jack. I'm not even related to him. I'm not his mom. I loved him, but he was never mine to love. Clarie should be the one to raise him. Not me. He should be with his family. How can I take care of that little boy, knowing that his mom and his family...his uncle and his grandma...all of you are still here and perfectly capabable. I know that she loves him more than anything, so why would she want someone else to raise her son?"

"I dunno," Jack whispered.

"Because I'm young," Claire answered, coming up the stairs. "Kate, I'm only 23. I don't have a job, and I don't have a beautiful home or a husband."

"That isn't what it takes to be a good mom Claire," Kate whispered.

"Maybe not," she shrugged. "But it's a good start. I want Aaron to have the best life ever. And from what Jack told me that's a life with you. And Sawyer's downstairs right now bonding with him."

"What?" Kate asked softly and smiling. She walked to the landing and looked down the stairs at Sawyer. Aaron was beginning to cry softly. Sawyer was looking at the baby as if he was some sort of foreign object. He almost looked scared of Aaron.

"Shh," Sawyer said. "Stop crying, please?"

Sawyer was rocking back and forth, un-rhythmically. Juliet was watching him. She was smiling, but she didn't look happy.

"He likes to be held close," Kate stated softly. She walked down the steps and toward Sawyer. She tipped the baby up so he was laying against Sawyer's chest. Sawyer had the fear come back into his eyes. Jack looked at Juliet who was still looking as if she might break down and cry.

"What the hell did you say to Juliet?" Jack asked. "She was fine-"

"Jack stop," Juliet closed her eyes. "It's just my dad-he's kind of. He's a bastard...and he's the reason why I came here."

"What did he do to you?" Jack whispered.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Just-"

"He beat the hell out of her and left her for dead," Sawyer answered. "Juliet...if you insist on going...then I insist on going with you."

Kate looked at Juliet and then back at Sawyer.

**A/N: OK...So I'm sorry for the delay...my computer was having some major issues. It's not completely fixed, but I'm going to try to update again soon. Please please review!!!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

Aaron was still crying. Sawyer handed the baby back to Claire and looked at Juliet. She shook her head and started walking toward the door.

"Juliet-" he began. He stood in front of the door and looked at her.

"Stay here with your family," she murmured. "I don't want you to come with me."

"Too damn bad," he answered. "Because I'm coming with you."

"No," she shook her head. "I can handle it by myself."

"No!" he exclaimed loudly. Kate jumped slightly and so did Juliet. "You're not going to his house by yourself."

"I'll go with her," Jack said.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. He stepped toward Juliet and stood close to her. Then he whispered softly. "This is my responsibility Juliet-"

"No it's not," she shook her head. "It's mine. And since we're not together anymore, why should you care."

"We had each other's backs right? I mean-we were together," he said. "It doesn't matter to me that we're not together anymore Juliet, I still care about what happens to you. I'm not letting you go by yourself."

"What about Kate?" she whispered.

"Forget Kate!" he exclaimed. Kate let out a soft breath. Sawyer put one hand against Juliet's cheek. "Kate doesn't have anything to do with this Juliet. This is about you and your dad-"

"Exactly, so why do you want to go?" she interrupted.

"Because all I want to do is protect you," he answered. "It's not about me wanting to be with you. If I go with you it doesn't mean that I'm cheating on Kate."

This time he looked up at Kate, who looked about ready to burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "But I can't just let her go alone."

"What about Jack?" Kate mumbled.

"No," he shook his head. "Kate, I owe her-you don't understand what she went through with her dad. I'm the only one she ever told. I need to do this Freckles. I'll be back later. I promise."

She nodded and he continued.

"I have to do this Kate," he said softly.

"I know," she murmured.

"I'm not asking you to sleep with me Juliet," he said, turning back toward Juliet. "I just want to go with you. I already broke your heart, let me at least just help you. Let me come with you Jules…please?"

"Ok," she nodded. Sawyer still hadn't looked away. Aaron continued to cry. Kate looked over at Claire who was struggling to get him to settle down.

"Will you try?" Claire asked. "Please?"

Kate sighed softly. But she walked over to Claire and took Aaron from Claire's arms. She held Aaron against her chest. He cooed softly. Kate breathed in deeply and walked around the room.

"Well I'm going right now," Juliet said. "So are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Let's go."

They left the house and Kate handed Aaron back over to Claire and ran out of the house and toward him.

"Be careful," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. He came back up the steps and kissed her lips softly and quickly.

"I love you ok?" he said softly. He moved away from her and then dragged her down the steps.

"Sawyer-" she began. He pulled her over to the place in the lawn where he had written the proposal. She looked down and couldn't help but smile weakly. He looked at her and pulled her toward him. Her arms were still crossed

"We're getting married Freckles," he whispered. She uncrossed her arms and put them around his neck. He leaned toward her slowly and kissed her, but then backed away.

"Ok," she said, still slightly sadly. "I trust you."

"You better," he smiled and ran the back of his hand over her cheek.

She backed away and went back up the porch. She watched as Sawyer lead Juliet over to the car. She went into the house and watched from the window. Sawyer opened the car door for Juliet. She wasn't smiling. He wasn't either. Kate looked at Jack and Claire. Claire was moving back and forth trying to get Aaron to stop crying again.

"He's hungry," Kate murmured. She went up the stairs and into the bedroom. She shut and locked the door. This time Jack didn't follow her.

"She knows his cries," Claire said.

"Don't you?" Jack asked.

"I know," she nodded. "I know all his cries…but his mom should know his cries-"

"Just because Kate knows his cries, doesn't mean that she should be raising him," Jack said.

"But you said that she was a great mom," Claire whispered.

"She was," he nodded. "She was a great mom. And I know that she misses it, but Claire, I don't want you to regret it."

"I won't," she shook her head. "I'm going to leave him here. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna let him cry and hopefully Kate will come back down to get him. You can stay if you want, but I'm leaving. I'll be back when Kate changes her mind."

"I'll stay here," Jack whispered. "Just in case she doesn't."

Claire smiled weakly and put her coat on. She left the house. Aaron was crying yet again. Jack wanted to pick him up to quiet him down, but he knew that Kate would be down soon. Claire shut the door loud enough so that she knew that Kate would hear it.

Kate was in the bedroom pacing back and forth. She looked out the window and saw the snow had started to fall again. The "Marry Me" would be covered soon. She could hear Aaron crying. She saw Claire leaving the house without him. She quickly ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Aaron was crying louder, and Jack hadn't picked him up yet.

"Where is she going?" Kate asked. "Why did she just leave him here?"

"She wants you to take care of him," Jack murmured. "I think that she thinks it will get you to change your mind."

Kate looked down at Aaron. She picked him up and held him closely.

"Do you have a bottle?" Kate asked. "Or formula? Did she think this through at all. How the hell am I supposed to calm him down when he's screaming because he's hungry?"

"Claire bought bottles and formula," Jack answered and handed Kate the diaper bag. "It's part of why it took us a while to get here. We stopped by and got him diapers and food. We had to…he needed his diaper changed pretty much as soon as we got home."

"Ok," she sighed. She walked into the kitchen with Aaron. She started making Aaron a bottle and looked at him. He looked at her and smiled. She smiled too.

"Hey Aaron," she whispered. She bounce him softly and looked at the microwave timer. When it beeped she took the bottle out of the microwave and tested the temperature on her arm. She put the bottle in Aaron's mouth. She walked back into the living room and sat down with him. She rocked him softly as she fed him.

"He's yours," Jack said softly. "Look at how you are with him Kate. You're completely natural."

"I dunno," she whispered. "Will you guys stay?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Are you going to stay here in Michigan?" she asked. "I mean…Aaron should be with Claire. I hope that you and Claire both stay in our lives."

"I don't know about Claire," he replied. "I'm going to stay. I got a job."

"Where?" Kate asked.

"The hospital," he shrugged. She laughed somewhat loudly and covered her mouth.

"Sorry," she said. "I just-of course it's the hospital. That was a dumb question. The hospital. It's 10 minutes away. So you come see us whenever you want."

"Are you going to take him?" Jack asked.

"I think I have to," she whispered softly.

"Don't be sad," Jack said. "I'll help you. And-I guess Sawyer will too."

"He told me that he would," she replied. "He promised he would. And I believe him."

* * *

Sawyer drove in almost silence. Juliet gave him verbal directions to her dad's house. As they drove Juliet kept looking over at Sawyer.

"Everything's going to be fine," he murmured.

"No," she shook her head. "You have a completely different life now. You're marrying Kate. You never wanted to marry me-"

"Stop," he sighed. "That's not fair Juliet. You know damn well that, that's not fair."

"We weren't ever going to get married James," she whispered. "Admit it."

"Juliet-" he began again.

"Don't try to lie to me," she shook her head. He stopped the car and pulled to the side of the road. He looked at her and sighed deeply. She turned away from him and crossed her arms.

"Look at me," he murmured. "Look at me."

She sighed and looked over at him. She bit down on her lip and shook her head.

"I don't know blondie," he murmured. "If we would have gotten away…if we hadn't gone back in time-"

"Can you see our lives together?" she whispered.

"Sure," he shrugged. "Together and a family. Juliet…I loved you so much. If things had gone differently…then yeah. We would have ended up together. But-"

"Now you're with Kate," she whispered.

"Let's just go to your dad's and get this over with," he said.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I don't want to take up any more of your time."

"Dammit Juliet, that's not what I meant," he scoffed. "I meant like, let's get this asshole out of your life."

"He's been out of my life James," she sniffled. He put the car back into drive and started driving again.

"What do you think he's going to say to you Jules?" he asked. "Is he going to say, 'oh baby, I'm so sorry. I never meant to bash your face in.' I just don't get why you want to-"

"Because he's still my dad," she interrupted. "Lots of people have daddy issues James…in fact, your own daughter probably has some issues, not knowing her daddy."

"Shut up," he scoffed.

"He's my father James," she answered. "I hate him, but I can't waste my energy hating him anymore. The house is right there."

Sawyer slowed down and pulled off.

"I'm doing this by myself," she replied. "You have to let me."

"Fine," he mumbled.

Juliet got out of the car. She walked up the front path to the house and knocked on the door. She breathed in sharply, waiting for someone to answer. An older woman came to the door. Juliet smiled weakly and breathed again.

"Hi," Juliet whispered. "Um…is Jerry Burke here?"

"Who are you?" the woman asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I'm his daughter," she answered. The woman opened her mouth and then turned back around.

"Jerry!" she exclaimed. Juliet looked into the house and saw a man walking toward the front door. She started shaking slightly. She heard the car door behind her and knew that Sawyer had gotten out. She looked back at him. He was starting to walk toward her, but then stopped and leaned against the car. She looked back at the door and her dad was standing in front of her.

"Juliet?" he asked.

"Hey dad," she whispered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I-" she began. "I just wanted to see you again."

"I haven't seen you-" he started.

"20 years," she answered. "Since after mom died."

"Juliet," he whispered. "Why are you here?"

"I just want to know why?" she sobbed. "Why would you hit me? Why did you kick Rachel out? Why did you kick me-I know I screwed up when I got pregnant, but I still didn't deserve to be beaten over that."

"Jer-" his new wife began.

"I have nothing to say to you Juliet," he told her.

"Not even I'm sorry?" she asked.

"I'm sorry Juliet," he shrugged. "But I haven't been in your life, so what do you expect me to tell you?"

"Did you ever love me?" she whispered. Her dad didn't say anything. She nodded and turned around. She walked quickly to the car. She pushed Sawyer out of the way and got into the front seat. Sawyer got into the car and looked at her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"What do you think?" she scoffed. "He doesn't care. He never loved me. I just want to go home. I want to go back to Miami…I want to go be with Rachel. I want to be with someone who actually cares."

Sawyer drove back to the house. When they got there, he got out of the car and quickly went to her side of the car. He opened the door and took her by the hands. He pulled her into a hug and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back and sobbed against his chest.

"I care about you," he told her softly and ran his hand down her back. "Rachel isn't the only person who loves you."

"James," she whispered. "Please, just don't."

The snow was still falling steadily. Juliet looked over at the lawn where Sawyer's proposal wasn't even visible anymore. Sawyer kept his arm around Juliet and they walked up the steps together. When Sawyer went into the house he saw Jack and Claire talking quietly. Claire had come back and was watching Kate with Aaron. Kate was still holding Aaron and she was beaming. Sawyer looked at her and smiled.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," Kate stated, looking up at him. "Can we talk?"

He nodded and she got up and took him by the hand. She dragged him up the stairs and didn't wait till they were in their bedroom.

"Can we keep him?" Kate whispered.

"Kate," he chuckled.

"What?" she said, still smiling.

"You're acting like he's a dog or something and you're a kid begging me to keep the new pet," he said.

"Ok," she sighed, but was still smiling. "James…for the first time, I feel like everything is coming into place. Jack got a job at the hospital and Aaron's back…I just-I love you so much. Can we keep Aaron?"

"If that's what you want," he told her.

"It is," she nodded. "Claire's staying too. Not here here, but she's going to stay here in Michigan. She's going to come see him whenever she wants. In fact she said that she would baby sit whenever we need her to."

"Won't that be hard?" he whispered.

"Don't ruin this for me," she said softly.

"Ok," he smiled. "So which room is the nursery?"

Kate chuckled and jumped into his arms. He held her and then set her down. She kissed him softly and looked down the stairs.

"Is Juliet ok?" she asked.

"I don't know," he murmured. "She won't tell me. Her dad is still a jerk. She won't be staying. She wants to move back to Miami to be with her sister. She's-I dunno Kate…I think she's pretty pissed at me."

"Why?" Kate whispered. "She hasn't even seen you for 4 months. What'd you do in the past few hours?"

"I proposed to you," he answered. "It's-I want to marry you Kate. But you have to know…if things had been different I might have married Juliet."

"If things had been different I would have married Jack," she responded. "But it doesn't matter James, because we're together. If you're having second thoughts…tell me now-"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not having second thoughts. I love you Freckles."

"I love you too," she said. Although she knew something else was plaguing Sawyer's thoughts. She leaned forward and kissed this lips gently. They went back down the stairs. Juliet was sitting by herself with her arms crossed. Sawyer and Kate both suspected that Jack tried to get her to talk but she had refused. Claire was sitting with Aaron on her lap. She was making him smile and giggle. Kate couldn't help but smile widely. She looked at Sawyer and he looked back at her.

"Isn't that the best sound?" Kate whispered.

"Sure," he nodded. He looked over at Juliet, who was trying not to smile at Aaron. She looked at Sawyer and then stood up.

"I'm going to get going," Juliet said. "I just can't be here right now."

She got up and left the house. Sawyer closed his eyes, but didn't follow her. Jack looked at Sawyer, and then walked out the front door after Juliet.

"What did he do to you?" Jack asked. "You were fine-"

"I was never fine Jack," she shook her head. "My dad doesn't want anything to do with me. It's the only reason I'm truly upset."

"The only reason?" Jack asked.

"Don't make this worse," she shook her head. "Yeah…it hurts. Seeing him happy with her, it hurts. I just really want to be alone right now. Is that ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded. He went back into the house and watched as Claire handed Aaron back over to Kate. Kate looked happier than he had seen her in a long time. Her ring was sparkling in the low light. Sawyer was watching her intently too. Claire looked happy too, but there was also a sadness behind her eyes.

That night, Jack and Claire left the house. Kate put Aaron to bed and then went back to their own bedroom. She got into bed next to Sawyer and looked at him.

"Are you still sad?" she asked.

"I'm not sad," he shrugged. "Why do you think I'm sad?"

"Because you've been frowning since you came back with Juliet," she answered. "I mean, I trust you James, but…I mean what happened?"

"Nothing," he answered. "But the reason she left early…I can't help thinking that she's hurting because of me Kate. I just feel guilty. I don't think she expected us to be engaged when she came back."

"I didn't expect it either," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"When you proposed to me just this morning," she shook her head. "I wasn't exactly…I wasn't expecting it James. It was sort of a shock-"

"And now that Jack's back, things changed," he replied.

"No!" she exclaimed. "James. I said yes! I said yes because I want to marry you James. Do you regret asking me?"

"No," he sighed.

"Good," she said.

**A/N: I would adore more reviews! Thanks guys!**


	12. Chapter 12

Kate could hear the baby crying. She only had the basic necessities for the baby, like a crib, and that was it. She could hear him crying without a baby monitor. His cries were becoming louder and more shrill. She hoped that it would be easier raising an infant with the help from Sawyer.

"The baby's awake," Sawyer murmured.

"Can you get him this time?" she asked softly. "We'll take turns. I promise."

"You go this time," he moaned and rolled over. "I'll go next time."

"Thanks a lot," she sighed. She got up and went into Aaron's bedroom. She picked him up and sighed softly. She held him closely and started rocking him gently. He didn't stop crying or even slow down crying. "Oh Aaron. Honey you're burning up."

She carried him down the stairs and went into the kitchen. She got a cold wash cloth and went to sit down on the couch with him. She pressed the wash cloth gently across his forehead and sighed deeply. He continued to cry steadily. Kate tried to feed him a bottle, but he wouldn't take it. She remembered feeling the same hopelessness before. She walked around the house with him to get him to settle down. She heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She looked toward Sawyer, and he was walking toward her rubbing his head.

"You wanna take a turn?" she mumbled.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I just can't do daddy dearest. Sweeping women off their feet and sweet talk? That's easy...but babies?"

"Have you ever even tried?" she asked. She handed Aaron over to Sawyer. Aaron didn't settle down in the least.

"What did you used to do?" Sawyer asked softly but still out loud.

"What do you mean?" she chuckled.

"Well," he shook his head and looked down at Aaron who had his hand in his mouth, but was still sobbing loudly. "I know you want me to believe that Aaron has always been a perfect angel and never cried a day in his life, but we both know that's bull. So…what would you do before, when he would cry like this?"

"I'd put him in the car," she whispered. "I'd put the radio on low and just drive for a while."

"Why are you whispering?" he said.

"Because he's not crying anymore," she whispered again and pointed at Aaron who had fallen asleep.

"Why always me," he shook his head. She smiled widely.

The next morning Kate could hear Aaron screaming.

"Sawyer!" she scoffed. "Can't you-"

She rolled over and realized that Sawyer wasn't in the bed next to her. She got out of bed and walked toward Aaron's room. Sawyer was holding him, but he was still acting as if Aaron wasn't a baby, but a bomb. She had a feeling that could have been part of the reason Aaron was crying this way.

"You have to hold him more securely Sawyer," she said gently. She moved Aaron around in Sawyer's arms. Aaron looked more comfortable, but he was still crying.

"Kate, I think something is really wrong," he said. "I think we should take him to the doctor."

"Ok," she whispered. "You're right."

He handed Aaron over to Kate and started walking down the stairs. Kate followed him and sighed deeply. Aaron continued to cry. Kate shushed him softly and ran her hand over his forehead again.

"Maybe I should call Claire," Kate whispered as they walked out of the front door.

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"Sawyer," she sighed. " This isn't going to work if you don't talk to me."

"Kate, do whatever you think is best," he shook his head. "I mean-maybe Claire would want to know…or maybe it would just upset her because she just gave him up and she would want to cut off all ties right now. I don't know how the female mind works."

"You know better than you think you do about how our minds work," she smiled.

"I know how to seduce women," he said. "But anything emotional…not really."

"And you don't think sex has to do with emotions?" she asked.

"Are you having a mood swing?" he asked. "Let's just get Aaron to the doctor before he pops my eardrum."

"Ear!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he shook his head, slightly baffled.

"Ear infection," she said. "A couple days after we got back-the first time…Aaron was screaming for 2 days straight. I took him to the emergency room and they told me that he had an ear infection "due to the helicopter ride" they said."

"But they came home in the sub," Sawyer reminded her.

"Well," she shrugged. "Maybe from going too far under the water? I don't know…but it's an ear infection."

"This could be useful," he smiled. "We'll know all his ailments before they happen."

He cried the entire way to the hospital. Kate sat in the backseat with him while Sawyer drove. When they got to the hospital, Kate quickly picked Aaron up. She went to the front desk and sighed softly.

"Hi," she said. "Um-my…my son has been crying for the past day. I think it's an ear infection."

"What makes you think that?" the nurse asked.

"He's been holding his ear," Kate answered.

"Oh," she nodded. "I'll get you a room, but it may be a few minutes."

"Ok," Kate replied.

She walked back over to the chairs and sat down. Sawyer sat down next to her. Kate held Aaron to her chest and rubbed his back. He started settling down. Sawyer looked at him and chuckled softly.

"What?" Kate asked.

"You got any Kleenex in your purse?" he asked.

"Why?" she said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You've got snot all over your shirt," he told her.

"Oh," she whispered. "Can you wipe his face?"

She went into her purse while still managing to hold on to Aaron. She handed him the tissue. Sawyer looked like he really didn't want to, but he did it anyway. There was a girl sitting across from them who was staring at them.

"He's adorable!" she exclaimed. "He looks just like you!"

"Oh," Kate whispered. "Thanks."

"Not you," she scoffed, a little rudely. "The father. He looks just like his father."

"I'm not his father," Sawyer said with a snarky smirk.

"Oh," she whispered. Kate shook her head and looked at Sawyer. He shrugged and raised his eyebrows, as if to say "well, it's true."

Kate didn't smile. She went back to bouncing Aaron softly and continued to rub his back. They were brought to a room, and waited there for the doctor. The nurse came in and handed Kate a clipboard of forms. Kate remembered feeling the same anxiety before. She didn't know any of Aaron's medical history or any of Claire's. She sighed softly and rubbed her forehead.

The doctor came into the room and looked at Aaron. Aaron had his hand back in his mouth and he wasn't crying anymore.

"His ear is hurting him?" the doctor asked.

"I don't-" Kate sighed. "He's been crying since last night. He's burning up. I just-intuition, y'know?"

"I don't see any medical history," the doctor stated.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I know. I just-"

"We're not his parents," Sawyer replied. "His birth mom didn't give us any of the information."

"So you don't know the things he's allergic to or anything?" he asked.

"No," Kate answered softly. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do."

"Well let me take a look and we'll figure out something," the doctor smiled. Kate held Aaron on her lap as the doctor examined him. He fussed and cried, but when the doctor backed away he cuddled against Kate, which made her feel much better. Kate rocked him gently and looked over at Sawyer.

"Are you going to tell everyone that Aaron isn't ours?" she asked after the doctor left.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "What did you want me to do Kate? You looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he was asking about the medical history. I was only telling the truth."

"I know," she sighed. "But every time you tell other people, it just reminds me…I mean are we even doing the right thing? I can't do this without you James."

"I was the one who got up this morning when he was screaming," he answered.

"Yeah, and I bet you let him scream until you realized that I was too exhausted to even hear him," she sighed. "Sawyer-"

"Whatever Kate," he shook his head. "Believe what you want."

"Tell me that you want to be a daddy," she said firmly.

"I want to be with you," he stated. "I know Aaron goes with that."

The doctor came back in the room before Kate could argue with him.

"You were right," he smiled weakly. "Our little guy has an ear infection. I prescribed some ear drops and a pain reliever. He should be fine in about a week."

"Ok," Kate nodded and smiled back. She stood up and walked out of the room, without waiting for Sawyer. When they got to the car Kate got into the driver's seat.

"What are you doing?" Sawyer asked.

"We're going to go shopping," she told him. "We need baby stuff."

After spending the day shopping for clothes and baby furniture Aaron was sleeping very soundly when they got home. When they got home Kate carried him up the stairs and put him gently down in his crib. She left the room again. Sawyer was sitting in the living room. There were a couple boxes of furniture so Kate started getting to work at putting the furniture together. She didn't say much. Sawyer started attempting to help her but he refused to use the directions, so they ended up arguing and Kate was doing it by herself. Aaron started crying and Kate sighed softly. She got up and went up the stairs. She picked Aaron up and carried him back down the stairs.

"Can you just hold him for a second?" she asked. "I'm gonna go make him a bottle."

"I'll do it," he murmured. He got up and went into the kitchen. Kate could hear him moving around and then she heard several grunts and he said son of a bitch twice. She sighed deeply and walked into the kitchen. She put Aaron down gently in the playpen crib that she had just finished putting together. She pushed past Sawyer and started making the bottle. She muttered a couple things under her breath. Sawyer didn't seem to notice.

She came back into the living room and looked at Sawyer who had started trying to put the new crib together. Kate chuckled and stepped over the mess he had started to make. She sat down and started feeding Aaron. Sawyer tried to put the crib together but failed, and Kate ended up doing it when Aaron was done with the bottle.

**1 Month Later**

Kate was exhausted from taking all the responsibilities with Aaron. Sawyer wasn't getting up with him at night, because every time he cried, Sawyer would either ignore it or say that it was Kate's turn. She was sitting with him in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth. Kate had started doing some wedding plans, but each time she asked for Sawyer's opinion, he wouldn't give her a direct answer. She was reading Aaron a story when Sawyer appeared in the doorway.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

"Reading to him," she said quietly.

"Oh," he nodded and came further into the room. He kissed her softly on the forehead and then moved to her lips. He kissed her deeper and she gasped softly.

"Jeez," she whispered. "What was that for?"

"It's been a long month," he answered.

"Yeah," she murmured. "For me too…but-call me crazy, but I'm just a little too tired to be into the mood."

"Oh come on," he whispered.

"Maybe if I had a little more help," she told him.

"I thought that Claire and Jack were going to come help," he replied.

"Well they haven't yet, now have they?" she said, somewhat irritably.

"It's not my fault," he stated.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I know. Nothing's ever your fault."

She stood back up and put Aaron in his crib. She left the bedroom. They avoided each other the rest of the night. Kate checked on Aaron several times before going to bed. She was laying under the covers. Sawyer got out of the shower and got into the bed next to her. He pulled her toward him and kissed her softly and slowly.

"Stop," she scoffed. "Don't."

"Why?" he whispered softly.

"Because I'm tired, and I'm going to be getting up in 3 hours to take care of Aaron," she said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"It means that it's been a month Sawyer," she sighed. "And I'm so tired and I feel like you really don't want any of this at all. I mean, you said you'd help me, but you haven't done anything. You won't feed him, or get up with him at night and you're not doing anything to help me with the wedding."

"I told you, whatever you want," he said. "I don't want you to stress out over the wedding Kate. Anything you want."

"I want your opinion," she told him. "I want you to tell me what you want."

"I never learned how to be a dad Kate," he mumbled badly. She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I grew up with my grandmother Kate," he sighed. "The strongest memory I have of my dad was him killing my mom. Not exactly who I aspire to be like."

"James," she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I don't want your sympathy," he interrupted. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to comfort a crying baby or how to even hold him right. To you it's completely natural, but to me…"

"Completely natural?" she asked. "Sawyer I'm a fugitive. I was never going to be a mom. Being Aaron's mom was the most awkward experience of my life…until it became one of the most rewarding. James I just-I don't want to look back 10 years from now and have Aaron resent you. I mean, what are you gonna do the first time he calls you dada, because I can almost guarantee you that it will happen…unless you insist that he call you Sawyer."

"I don't know," he sighed.

"What about when we have our own kids?" she asked. "Are they going to call you Sawyer too? Or maybe you don't want any more kids."

"Kate, why are you doing this?" he whispered softly.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I'm just-I'm tired. And I need your help James."

"OK," he sighed. "I'm sorry. Kate, I don't want to lose you. So I'll do whatever you want me to do."

"Just help me out," she told him.

* * *

**1 Month Ago**

After Jack and Claire left Kate and Sawyer's house, they shared a cab ride to a hotel. When they got to the hotel Claire and Jack went in together.

"Claire," Jack began. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine. Aaron's safe. I know that Kate will take good care of him."

"Y'know I think Kate really meant it when she said she wanted you to come visit any time you wanted," he said.

"I think I should wait a while," she answered. "I mean…I just think it will be too soon. I need to wait."

"So are you going to stay here in Ann Arbor?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm gonna stay. But-I-I have no where to go."

"Is this you asking me if you can stay with me?" he chuckled. "Cuz I don't have a house yet either."

"But you will," she said. "I mean…never mind. Forget it."

"No, Claire, it's fine-" he began and then stopped. He saw out of the corner of his eye Juliet sitting at the bar with a beer. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked toward her. Claire followed too. They each sat on either side of her.

"What are you doing here?" Jack whispered.

"I have no where else to go. I kinda figured this was where you'd show up."

"I thought you wanted to be alone," he said softly.

"I did," she answered. "But now I just want to drink. Don't care who with."

"I don't drink anymore," he sighed. "Not since-"

"Are you for real?" she asked. "Our lives suck Jack. You're not going to have just one drink with me?"

"I will," Claire said, gesturing the bartender over. Jack watched as Claire and Juliet took a shot. Then he decided to join in.

**1 Month Later**

Jack, Juliet, and Claire were all living together as roommates. Jack was at work most of the time. Juliet had gotten a job at the same hospital. Jack worried about Claire, because she hadn't gone to see Aaron yet. He hadn't gone either, but it was because he was constantly keeping himself busy. He didn't want to see Sawyer and Kate playing happy family with Aaron. He knew that it was hypocritical because he had done the same thing with Kate, but somehow the thought of Sawyer and Kate married with a kid, wasn't something Jack was ready for. He knew that Juliet felt the same.

Jack came home from work and Claire was making dinner.

"Hey Claire," he said. "Isn't it Juliet's turn to cook?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But Juliet just got home from work and she said she didn't really feel good, so I'm cooking for her."

"Is she alright?" Jack asked.

"I think so," she replied. "Jack, I want to go see Aaron."

"You should go then," he stated.

"But I don't want to go alone," she whispered. "I know it's stupid. I should just want to go alone because I'm a big girl, but-can you-can you go with me?"

"Well," he murmured. "I guess it's sort of my first chance to be your big brother."

She smiled and chuckled, and shook her head.

"Ok," she said softly.

**A/N: Thanks for the continued reviews, and I'd love more ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

Aaron was crying again. Kate felt like she was going to cry too. She rolled over and started getting out of bed. But then she stopped.

"Shh," she heard Sawyer's voice over the baby monitor. "Look, let's make a deal. When it's my turn to come getcha you can just hush up."

Kate let out a soft chuckle and rolled over to listen more.

"If you don't be quiet, your momma is gonna come in here, and then she'll hate me forever," he said quietly. "So do you wanna help me out here? I have to prove to her that I can be a good daddy for you."

Kate covered her mouth. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry. A few minutes later she didn't hear Aaron crying anymore. She quickly rolled back over and closed her eyes. She heard Sawyer's footsteps and felt him get back in the bed. He sighed deeply. He rolled toward Kate and shoved her playfully, knowing that she was still awake.

"Hmm," she mumbled.

"You heard everything didn't you?" he asked. She rolled over and kissed his lips quickly and deeply. She let out a soft breath.

"Thank you," she whispered. "And I don't hate you. I'm just tired. And I don't want to do this alone again."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her forehead. She cuddled against him and went back to sleep.

In the morning Kate woke up and felt Sawyer running his hands up and down her back. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning," she whispered. She kissed him softly and rolled over on top of him. She let out a soft chuckle and leaned back down.

"Kate," he whispered softly.

"I want to," she told him. "I really want to. Before Aaron wakes up."

He wrapped his arms around her and flipped them back over. They started shedding each other's clothes. Kate breathed out sharply and looked up at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

"You're so hot," he told her. She rolled her eyes and shoved him, but he ran his hands down her body and smiled at her. She couldn't help but smile back. Aaron started crying. Kate mumbled and started getting out from underneath Sawyer.

"I'll go," he whispered. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

She couldn't help but smile again. He left the bed and went into Aaron's room. Again, Kate listened to the baby monitor. Sawyer sighed softly and walked over to the crib.

"Gimme a break," he said softly. "Please, just give us 30 minutes of peace and quiet."

Aaron continued to cry. Sawyer picked him up and walked with him around the room. As soon as Sawyer started moving around Aaron settled down. Sawyer sighed again and started putting him back down. Aaron started crying again.

"Son of a bitch," he whispered. He walked back into the bedroom and set Aaron down on the bed. Kate picked him up and looked at Sawyer.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"He won't let me put him down," he murmured. "I gotta get ready for work."

"Ok," she sighed softly and looked at Aaron who wasn't crying anymore. She kissed him on the top of the head and watched Sawyer walk into the bathroom, with all his clothes. He came out a few minutes later fully dressed. Kate was laying down with Aaron in her arms. She looked at him and smiled weakly. He bent down and kissed Kate softly.

"I'm gonna be late if I stay any later," he whispered.

"Ok," she said softly. "Bye."

"See you later," he stated.

Later that day Kate was bored. Aaron was sleeping in his crib. Sawyer wasn't going to be home for another few hours. The doorbell rang, which was almost a relief from Kate's boredom. She walked to the door and answered it. Jack and Claire were both standing in front of her.

"H-hi," Kate said hesitantly.

"Hey," Jack smiled. "Can we come in?"

"Yeah," she answered softly. "You must be freezing."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. Kate stepped out of the way and let Jack and Claire into the house.

"You want him back, don't you," Kate whispered. "Before it's too late for you to change your mind-"

"No," Claire shook her head. "No, Kate, of course not. I just want to see him. I mean…he is my son after all. And you did tell me that I should come and see him whenever I wanted. Unless you changed your mind."

"I didn't," Kate replied. "Let me go get him."

"Wait," Claire began. "Don't wake him up. You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping at all?"

"Not really," Kate admitted. "But it will get easier. I know this for a fact."

"It's funny," Claire smiled. "On the island he always slept through the night."

"Maybe I should buy one of those sound machines with the ocean playing," she said softly. "He's my whole world Claire. I still don't get why you decided I should have him, but he's really the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I'm glad you're happy," she said genuinely. "I'm living with Jack and Juliet."

"Juliet?" Kate asked.

"She decided not to go back to Miami to live," Jack answered. "She got a job at my hospital."

"Cool," Kate said, but didn't sound very enthusiastic.

"Jack," Claire began. "Do you mind if me and Kate have some girl talk?"

Jack didn't answer, but Claire started walking up the stairs. Without being prompted Kate followed. When they got up the stairs, Claire sat down in the middle of the hallway. Kate looked down at her, but didn't sit.

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Claire replied. "So what is it Kate? Are you jealous of Jack and Juliet, or are you scared of losing Sawyer?"

"He doesn't help me," Kate whispered. "I don't want Jack to know. But he doesn't-today is the first time he's helped me with Aaron. He-he told me that he doesn't know how to be a dad. I'm just afraid that him stepping up this morning was just a one time deal."

"But you did it alone before," she reminded her.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "But before I didn't have a fiance. I mean…I know Sawyer loves me. And I don't think he means anything by it when he doesn't help me with Aaron, but I just-I had to do it alone before, and I don't want to have to do it alone again."

"Did you tell him?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I told him I didn't want to do it alone. I think he heard me. I think he understood me, but it still scares the crap out of me…ugh, never mind. Let's just go in his room."

"I don't want to wake him up," Claire replied. Before Claire even finished her sentence fully, Aaron started crying. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," she shrugged. "It's ok,. He was bound to wake up sooner or later. He's given me a half hour."

Kate walked into the room and looked down at Aaron. She picked him up carefully and then immediately handed him to Claire. Claire looked at him and then back at Kate.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for taking him. I mean-thank you for understanding that I can't do it."

"I still don't really get why," Kate said quietly.

"Yes you do," Claire nodded. "Kate…Jack told me that you were the best mommy ever. I had to give him a good life. Which means giving him to you, so you could give him a good life."

The phone started ringing. Kate ran down the stairs to answer it. She didn't recognize the area code, but picked it up anyway.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Kate?" a woman said softly.

"Yeah," Kate answered.

"Hey," she sighed softly. "Um. This is Cassidy."

"Cassidy?" Kate said.

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy, but I saw your names in the paper. I've been trying to get up the courage to call him, and you too actually, but I couldn't find him listed-" she began and then stopped abruptly. "And you have no idea what I'm talking about. Hell you probably don't even remember me."

"Of course I do," Kate answered. "And I do know what you're talking about. Sawyer. He's Clementine's dad."

"How did you-" she began.

"He told me," Kate replied.

"So he talks about how he has a daughter, but he doesn't want anything to do with her?" she scoffed.

"No," Kate sighed deeply. "No that's not it. He's scared Cassidy. He's already missed-"

"She's a year and a half," Cassidy interrupted. "He's only missed a year and a half. He still has time, if he even cared or wanted anything to do with her."

"Did you call me to bitch at me?" Kate asked. "Or do you want me to give Sawyer a message?"

"I was hoping that you'd give me his number," she whispered.

"Well this is it," Kate said.

"You live with him?" she asked.

"We're engaged," she answered.

"Oh," Cassidy stated softly. "Well…can you just tell him I called then. He doesn't have to call me back if he doesn't want to, but just…tell him? Please?"

"I will," she replied. She hung up the phone and then looked at Jack, who was staring at her. Claire was coming down the stairs carrying Aaron. She and Jack stayed for most of the rest of the day. Claire had held Aaron for most of the time. By the time they left, it was getting close to 4:00. Kate invited them to stay for dinner, but neither of them seemed to want to stay, so Kate didn't push the issue.

When Sawyer got home, she didn't want to tell him immediately about Cassidy's call. After she made dinner, she sat down at the table with Sawyer. He moved closer to her, so that they were sitting next to each other instead of across from each other.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she whispered.

"I mean, what did you do today," he said. "Why, are you trying to hide something?"

"No," she shook her head. "No I'm not. Jack and Claire came. They wanted to see Aaron."

"Oh," he nodded. "So does Claire want him back?"

"No," Kate answered, slightly suspicious. "Why would you ask that?"

"She hasn't come by to see him," he shrugged. "I thought maybe she came because she changed her mind."

"Sawyer, I need to tell you something," she whispered quickly.

He set his fork down and got ready for her news. He looked at her and narrowed his eyes.

"Am I going to like this or hate it?" he murmured.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I hope you don't hate it."

"Are you pregnant?" he asked seriously.

"No," she shook her head. "Don't worry. Cassidy called."

"She had no memory of any of it right?" he asked.

"Clementine," she whispered. "She-um, she really wants you to be part of her life Sawyer."

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" he asked. "We live on opposite ends of the country."

"I know," she nodded. "I know. But maybe-I dunno…maybe you could write her a letter or something."

"What is with you women and letters?!" he exclaimed, somewhat loudly. "Clementine is a baby Kate. She can't read no letter. And it's not like if Cassidy reads it to her she'll get it."

"I've got news for you Sawyer," she began. "Babies…they don't stay babies forever. They grow up. They become kids…and then teenagers…and then guess what Sawyer, eventually they become adults. And if they're real lucky they'll have a few people in their lives to tell them they love them. But every so often…"

"Ok, I get your drift," he sighed and rolled his eyes.

"No," she shook her head. "I really don't think you do. You didn't have parents growing up, and I know that sucks…but y'know what…it's better than finding out that your dad…the dad who you're actually related to, is a son of a bitch, and it makes you wish was never born. I had to find out…all alone in my mom's house that my dad wasn't really my dad. He-he always treated me like his princess, but-some other man. A man who I hated was really my dad."

"I know," he murmured. "I hate that you went through that Kate."

"Thanks," she mumbled back. "Anyway…maybe that little girl should know that her dad actually cares about her. Because I never got that…and I don't think you did either."

"Do you know how much I hate it when you're right?" he said softly. She cracked a soft smile and then shrugged.

"Good," she said. "Because I love being right. I wrote her number down by the phone."

He got up from the table and Kate took him by the wrist.

"What are you going to do?" she whispered.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "It's not like I have any time off to go see them. Maybe she'll come here. Kate, just because I'm going to call Cassidy…it don't mean that I'm gonna go live in Albuquerque and leave all this behind."

"I didn't think you were," she answered. "But just because you call once, it doesn't make you her father."

"Yeah," he mumbled.

Sawyer went to call Cassidy. Kate stayed at the table and continued to eat dinner. She cleared the table and finished the dishes before Sawyer came back. When he did come back he walked up behind her and turned her around. She looked at him and put her arms around his shoulders. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She kissed him back. He picked her up and pushed her up against the counter. She moaned softly and then backed away.

"What'd she say?" Kate whispered.

"Nothing," he shook his head and leaned back toward her.

"What'd she say?" she repeated. This time Sawyer ignored her and leaned back in for another kiss. They both heard Aaron crying. Sawyer started to ignore it, but Kate backed away from him and got out of his grip. She walked up the stairs, with Sawyer following her. She ran up the steps and went to pick him up.

"Shh," she whispered. "Mommy's here."

It was really the first time that Kate referred to herself as 'mommy' while talking to Aaron. She breathed out sharply and held him against her chest. He stopped crying. Kate turned around and looked at Sawyer. He was standing in the doorway.

"What did Cassidy say?" Kate asked.

"She wants me to come visit," he answered. "She doesn't want to come here. I don't really know why. But-"

"So then you're going to go there," she replied.

"No," he shook his head. "I told you, I can't take time off work already. I mean I've only had the job for a few months."

"So then what are you going to do?" she asked. "Just forget that your daughter exists?"

"Screw you," he scoffed. He left the room and Kate sighed deeply. She bounced Aaron and tried to get him to go back to sleep. It took her nearly an hour to get him back to sleep, but when he finally was she left the room and went back to her own room. Sawyer was in bed reading when she came in. She walked toward him and sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just-I think that you should do something. You have to see how beautiful she is Sawyer."

"It's not like I can even be her dad though," he replied. "I mean…say I start writing her letters, and maybe I'll visit once a year or whatever…that's still not being a dad Kate. I just think it will be easier for everyone if I just stay away. I can't-be her father when we live so far away from each other."

"I know it's hard," she sighed. "But you could try."

"I'm tired," he mumbled. "Let's just go to bed."

He turned off the light and rolled over. Kate was still sitting on his side of the bed. She looked down at him and ran her hand down the side of his face. She leaned over him and kissed him softly. At first he didn't kiss her back, but then he did. She crawled on top of him and they continued to kiss.

"I love you James," she whispered softly.

"I love you too," he said.

She laid down next to him, but continued to hold on to him. He hugged her tighter. She looked at him and smiled weakly.

The next several weeks, Sawyer didn't call or write a letter to Clementine. Kate kept wanting to tell him what to do, but she knew that she couldn't. He was also not paying any attention to Aaron either. It was beginning to get to her again. She knew that Sawyer changing his ways wouldn't happen over night. She knew that he was trying, but he was still very uncomfortable around Aaron. Kate thought part of it could have been because of Aaron not being their kid.

Kate had taken Aaron to the park. When she got home, Sawyer's car was in the driveway. She walked carefully into the house.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Hey," he mumbled. He was sitting on the couch, not watching TV, but sitting, staring into space.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"Cassidy is coming here," he told her.

"What?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"Cassidy," he sighed. "She needs surgery…so she's coming to the hospital here, because her doctor recommended some doctor at Jack's hospital. Are you mad?"

"No," she shook her head. "Why would I be mad?"

"I dunno," he mumbled. "She wants someone to take care of Clementine."

"She's your daughter James, of course we're going to take care of her," she answered.

"You're kinda acting like you're mad Kate," he sighed.

"No," she replied. "I guess I'm just sorta surprised. It's been 3 weeks since Cassidy called, and you haven't called her again. I mean…unless you were hiding it from me."

"No," he shook his head. "I wasn't hiding anything."

"OK then," she nodded. "When are they coming?"

"Tomorrow," he said.

"What's wrong with Cassidy?" she asked. "She didn't have any health problems when I knew her."

"I don't know," he sighed. "She refused to tell me. She just wanted to have somewhere that Clementine could go. I dunno. I'm not exactly excited about this whole thing either Kate. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with Clementine. I tried to get time off of work, but they wouldn't let me-I know I should have asked you about it first, and now I feel even crappier. I don't want you to have to do it because it's not your responsibility. And Cassidy? I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to tell her. I told her that I couldn't be a daddy to Clementine, but what is she going to think when she comes here and we have Aaron?"

"I dunno," Kate whispered. "But I love Clementine. She's a sweet kid. And Cass…she and I became friends before…so maybe this time we will too."

Sawyer nodded, but he didn't look convinced.

The next day Kate was waiting for Cassidy and Clementine to arrive. Sawyer had to go to work, but he promised he would be home early. She didn't know if Cassidy would want to leave Clementine with her, since she didn't know anything about Kate yet. The doorbell rang and Kate quickly went to the door. She opened the door and Cassidy was standing in front of her, holding Clementine who was sleeping soundly.

"Long plane ride," Cassidy said, looking at Clementine and then back at Kate.

"It's good to see you Cassidy," Kate smiled and leaned forward to hug her. Cassidy hugged her back as best she could, while still holding on to Clementine. "She's beautiful. She looks-"

"Like him," Cassidy nodded. "I know. He's not here?"

"He had to work," Kate sighed.

"Are you sure that you should-" Cassidy began.

"I know that you barely know me," Kate shrugged. "So I don't blame you if you don't trust me with Clementine. But I promise-"

"Actually," Cassidy chuckled. "I think I trust you with her more than Sawyer. I was just going to say, are you sure that you want to be with him? I mean…are you sure-"

"I fell in love with him Cassidy," she whispered.

"So did I," she scoffed. "He knows exactly what to say. He doesn't know how to love anyone but himself. Always looking out for number one. He doesn't care about anything Kate!"

"Is that really why you came here?" Kate asked softly. "To warn me?"

"Well," she sighed. "I just-I'm not sick. I'm not having surgery. I knew that he had you wrapped around his little finger. He has this affect on people…not just women…somehow he gets them to trust him completely-"

"You don't understand Cassidy," Kate shook her head. "He's changed. He really has."

They both heard Aaron beginning to cry. Kate sighed and walked over to the playpen. She picked him up and sighed softly.

"He's-" Cassidy began. "That's why you're with him. Your son-"

"He's not our son," Kate interrupted. "We adopted him."

"Oh," she whispered. "I have to go."

"Please don't," she said softly. "He wants to-"

"He would rather raise some kid that isn't even his than his own daughter," Cassidy said quietly. She shook her head and started leaving again.

"Stop," Kate said, slightly begging. "It's not about that Cassidy. He's-it's-and I-"

"Uh huh," Cassidy replied.

"No," she began again. "He wouldn't rather raise Aaron than Clementine. In fact…Cassidy I've been doing a lot of this on my own."

"Typical Sawyer," Cassidy scoffed. "And even though you're doing this all alone, you're still going to stay with him? Why? I mean I remember the sex, but it can't be that good Kate."

"I love him!" Kate exclaimed loudly. It was loud enough to wake Clementine up. She rubbed her eyes, but didn't start crying. "I'm sorry. I just-I'm not with him because he's conned me or because he's made me believe something that's not true. We fell in love."

"You're just as naïve as I was," she shook her head. "I was in love with him too. I thought he loved me…and then-"

"He bought me a ring," Kate replied and showed Cassidy the ring.

"He bought me a necklace," Cassidy told her. "I'm going to give it to Clementine later because I don't want it, but maybe she will."

"Kate!" Sawyer exclaimed coming through the door. "I'm home."

Kate walked into the hallway, still holding Aaron on her hip. She kissed Sawyer softly on the lips and sighed softly.

"You ok?" he whispered. She shook her head slightly, but it was more of a unbelieving shake, rather than a 'no' shake. Cassidy walked into the room and smirked at Sawyer.

"Hey," she said.

"Cass," he murmured. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," she answered. "I'm not sick. There's no surgery. I just-I wanted to try to save Kate, but I can see that she's going to have to see what you really are for herself."

Clementine was now wide awake and whining to be put down. Cassidy didn't put her down. Sawyer let out a soft breath.

"You're not having surgery?" he asked. "So she's not going to stay here for a few days?"

"Did you really think I'd leave her with you?" Cassidy scoffed. "You don't want anything to do with her Sawyer. You know nothing about how to take care of a baby so why would I trust you?"

"You shouldn't," he mumbled.

"James," Kate whispered softly.

"No," he shook his head. "Kate, she's right. I'm not father material. Even now. I know that I'm sorta Aaron's…dad, but I'm not. When's the last time I got up with him Kate?"

"You don't have to ask me," she answered. "But it doesn't have to stay that way Sawyer! You can change. Anytime you want. You can change. And you deserve to know your daughter! And she deserves to know how much you care. And how much you sacrificed."

"He didn't sacrifice anything," Cassidy answered.

"You don't even understand what he sacrificed Cassidy," Kate replied. "And there's really no way to explain it to you. I mean I really wish that we could without sounding completely insane, but, it's the way it goes."

"I got her something," Sawyer mumbled and walked out of the room with his head down. Kate closed her eyes and shook her head.

"You really don't have to be such a bitch," Kate told her.

"Don't use that language in front of my daughter," Cassidy scoffed.

"I'm sorry," Kate sighed. "But if you could just hear yourself. Cassidy he feels guilty enough as it is. It's not like he can commute to come see her."

"You guys don't have to live in Michigan either," she said. "He could offer to-"

"He's got a good job now," Kate answered. "He's taking night classes. He's-he wants to be a professor at the University."

"And what will he teach?" Cassidy chuckled. "Picking-up Girls 101? Or maybe it's gonna be Advance Finance, or how to screw women out of their cash."

"He's going to teach Literature," she replied. "My idea actually."

"Whatever," Cassidy scoffed. "We're leaving."

"At least let Sawyer give her the stuffed animal."

Sawyer came back down the stairs with a stuffed elephant. Clementine saw it and reached for it before Sawyer even came all the way down the steps. She smiled widely and he handed it to her.

"I know that you're not going to remember this Clementine," he whispered. He reached out and took her hand gently. Cassidy opened her mouth to say something, but then stopped. She licked her lips and shook her head.

"We have to go," she whispered.

"Bye Cass," he mumbled. She left the house without another word. Kate put Aaron down on the floor and stepped toward Sawyer.

"Go after her," she said softly.

"No," he shook his head. "Kate, I can't be in and out of that little girl's life. I know I must sound selfish, but-I kinda feel like it wouldn't be fair to her Kate. I mean…I know what you said about not knowing who your real dad was. I know that I sound like a complete loser, but…it wouldn't be fair if I saw her only once a year. I mean, wouldn't she just spend her life wondering why I wasn't there all the time?"

"I don't know Sawyer," she whispered. "I know that this is so hard for you Sawyer. I mean…I know that you must want to see your daughter. You wanted to know what she was like before. If you think we should move closer-"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm finally getting my life together Kate. I have a house with you and a job and we're getting married, I don't want to lose it all."

"Well if we moved to New Mexico," she began. "I mean, there are houses and jobs out there Sawyer."

"I know," he sighed. "I just-I can't. Not right now. I can barely be Aaron's dad. And with me and Cassidy not exactly seeing eye to eye, it might just make things 100 times worse."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe."

"But I know that I've been a crappy dad to Aaron," he said. "But when I just said I was his dad to Cassidy. It kinda felt good."

She smiled softly, but didn't say anything.

"So I'm gonna try harder," he said. "It's just…it's really hard Kate."

"Tell me about it," she shook her head. "It's hard for me too. Do you really think that I like going to the park with Aaron, and having people telling me how beautiful my son is? I mean, he is beautiful Sawyer, but he's not mine. I completely hate it. But-but I'm his mom now. I love him so much. I would do anything to protect him."

"I don't want anything bad to happen to him either Kate," he answered. "I mean we sorta bonded in the middle of the jungle."

"Hmm," she chuckled again. "But that didn't happen for him."

"Well it did for me though," he replied.

"I think you two should have a real bonding moment," she said. "You should read to him tonight."

"Maybe I will," he whispered.

**A/N: A lot happened in this chapter. Please please review, it's much appreciated!**


	14. Chapter 14

**6 Months Later**

Kate was standing in the room fixing the bottom of her dress. She was by herself. She hadn't seen her mom once, since she had been back. She knew that she should since she knew her mom would soon be dead, but she didn't want to go through the pain of seeing her again. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," she said softly. The door opened and Claire stepped in carrying Aaron. Kate smiled weakly and walked toward them. Aaron started giggling and then reaching out for Kate. Kate smiled wider, and took him from Claire's arms.

"You ready?" Claire asked. Kate nodded and looked at Aaron.

"I've been ready," Kate answered. "Sawyer-he's been-"

"Better?" Claire asked.

"He's been amazing," Kate replied. "He plays with Aaron all the time. I'm just-I feel really guilty."

"Why?" Claire questioned. "Kate I want you and Sawyer to raise Aaron. I have a confession. Before I went on the plane…I was about 7 months pregnant. I went to a psychic. He told me that there could be no happy life for my baby without me in his life…but then he changed his mind. The psychic told me that there was a couple in Los Angeles who could take him, and that he would have the perfect life. That's why I was on the plane. I think that's what he meant. I think he meant you and Sawyer."

"But Claire, we don't live in Los Angeles," she said softly.

"But that's where you were at first," she answered.

"But you gave Aaron to us in Michigan," Kate replied. "I mean, I guess I'm just a little skeptical of psychics. I've never been one to believe in anything."

"I know," Claire chuckled. "You didn't want me to read your star chart."

"Sorry," she shrugged, but laughed too. "Anyway, I don't feel guilty about raising Aaron. I mean…I did, but now that I've had him for 9 months…I've sort of gotten over it. I feel guilty because Sawyer has another kid, who he hasn't seen in 6 months. He hasn't written to her or called her that I know of. He says that it's too hard, and he doesn't want to be a dad through letters. He thinks it's more damaging. He's just such a good daddy Claire."

Kate quickly wiped the tears before they fell and messed her makeup up.

"Why are you crying?" Claire whispered.

"Because," she shook her head. "I don't know. I just-I wish he knew how good he was with Aaron. The way he's learning more and more every day. And he has this look...he gets this look with Aaron-I don't know it's weird. It's like the look he gives me, but different."

"But that's a good thing right?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Of course. I just-I'm just ready to marry him. Let's go."

"Ok," Claire laughed. She took Aaron back from Kate and they left the room. Claire got ahead of Kate, and then Kate was suddenly pulled into another room. She gasped and looked at Sawyer. She shook her head and chuckled.

"Hey," she whispered and put her arms around his neck. She kissed his lips softly and then backed away.

"Freckles," he began. "Aren't you going to yell at me?"

"Why would I yell at you?" she asked.

"Because I'm not supposed to see you in your dress," he whispered.

"Well," she began. "I've been dying to see you all day. And we're going to see each other in 30 seconds anyway."

"OK, who are you and what have you done with Kate?" he asked. "Kate, you've been superstitious about everything with the wedding. Why are you being so cool about this?"

"Do you want me to be mad and yell at you?" she asked. "Because I think yelling at you just minutes before we get married, would be bad luck. Now aren't you going to tell me something like how hot I look in my dress?"

"You look gorgeous," he told her. "I like your dress."

"Thanks," she whispered and leaned forward to kiss him. "I want you."

"What?" he asked softly.

"I want you," she said again.

"Baby you got me," he replied.

"That's not what I meant," she shook her head and leaned forward to kiss him again.

"Freckles," he chuckled and leaned forward, but then backed away. "We're supposed to be getting married right now."

"Oh, they won't start the wedding without us," she replied. "I'm almost sure of it."

He laughed again and then kissed her again. She walked forward, forcing him to walk backwards into the wall.

"Freckles," he whispered. "You naughty little thing."

"Don't tell me you don't want to," she said softly, stepping toward him again.

"I do," he smirked. "But you won't want to mess up your hair and make-up."

"Damn," she whispered. "So where are we going for our honeymoon?"

"You're trying to distract me, so that I tell you," he said. "Ain't gonna work. Come on. Let's go."

"Okay," she said.

The wedding was small and short. Only the people who meant the most to them were there. Kate kept telling Sawyer how she had wished that his parents could have been there for the wedding. He told her it may have been better that they weren't since, he was sure his dad would have made him feel like Kate was far too good for a Ford. They were walking back down the aisle, and Kate looked at Jack, Claire, and Juliet. Jack actually looked very happy for them. Kate looked at him and beamed. She noticed that Juliet was squeezing his hand tightly. Kate thought that maybe that's why he was smiling so widely. She looked at Claire, who was still holding Aaron on her lap.

"Dada," Aaron said reaching out to Sawyer. Sawyer and Kate walked over to them. Kate picked him up and tickled his stomach. He giggled softly. Sawyer looked at him too. They started walking down the aisle again and then Kate stopped walking. She let out a soft breath and handed Aaron over to Sawyer. Sawyer furrowed his eyebrows and then watched as Kate stomped toward the back of the church.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked softly.

"I wanted to see my daughter get married," her mom answered.

"I didn't invite you for a reason," she whispered. "Mom, I really don't want to do this with you today. It's my wedding day."

"Just give me 5 minutes Katherine," Diane replied. "5 minutes."

"Fine," Kate sighed.

Kate walked with her mom into another room. Diane wasn't in a wheelchair, but she did look sickly. Kate looked at Diane and sighed softly.

"I know you're sick mom," she whispered.

"You have a beautiful family Katherine," Diane replied. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good childhood."

"My childhood was fine mom," she answered. "I just hate that my dad wasn't really my dad. My dad was a piece of crap. He treated you like complete trash. I don't understand why you turned me in. I'll never understand that."

"I didn't testify against you," she began. "Isn't that a start? I love you Katherine. You're my daughter. I know I couldn't protect you-"

"You didn't have to turn me in either mom," Kate said.

"If someone murdered your husband, wouldn't you want justice?" Diane asked.

"Mom, it's not the same thing," she shook her head. "James…the way he treats me is polar opposite of the way Wayne treated you…he has never hurt me or hit me or yelled at me or made me cry."

"And if he did hit you Kate, you would forgive him," Diane told her.

"It would depend on everything mom," she sniffled. "I sure as hell wouldn't put Aaron through know what, I'm done pointing fingers and crying. It's my wedding day! And I'm going to go out there with my new husband and my baby and-I'm going to forget about all of this."

"I'm sorry Katherine," she whispered.

"Me too," Kate mumbled. She hesitated, but then hugged her mom quickly and then left the room. She went back to where Sawyer was waiting with Aaron. Sawyer was kneeling on the floor in front of Aaron. He was standing, but swaying. Kate couldn't help but smile at the sight. Sawyer stood up when he saw Kate. He was still holding on to Aaron's hand to keep him steady. Kate walked toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"You ok?" he whispered into her ear, hugging her back. She nodded.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm ok."

"We're going to Disneyland," he whispered in her ear. She chuckled softly and looked at him. "No, I'm dead serious Freckles. You and me…we're leaving tonight. We're just going to drive all the way to California."

"That's gonna take at least 3 days," she shook her head and laughed.

"My boss gave me 2 weeks babe," he replied. "I'm gonna milk it."

She laughed again and wrapped her arms around his neck again.

"We're going to be spending so much time together that we'll get sick of each other," he said.

"I hope we won't be sick of each other," she laughed. "Since we just got married."

"Congratulations you guys," Jack said, coming up from behind them. Sawyer and Kate both looked at him. "I didn't mean to interrupt…but I'm gonna get going."

"You're not even going to stay for the reception?" Kate asked.

"Well," he sighed. "Me and an open bar? Doesn't really mix."

"There isn't an open bar," she shook her head. "Just champagne. There's less than 50 people here, I wasn't going to pay for an open bar for that few of people. Please Jack, just stay for a little bit."

"Ok," he whispered.

Everyone ended up going home semi-early. Claire took Aaron. Kate felt bad when Aaron cried, not only because she didn't want Aaron to be upset, but also because she knew it had to be hard for Claire to hear Aaron calling her and Sawyer momma and dada.

After the wedding, Kate and Sawyer got into the car and started driving. They each changed out of their wedding clothes and into something more comfortable. Kate fell asleep after they were only driving for a couple hours. Sawyer stopped the car and went to a hotel. When Kate woke up she looked at Sawyer.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"It's ok," he said. "Come on, let's go."

They got out of the car and went into the hotel. Kate crawled into bed and under the covers. Sawyer followed her and kissed her shoulder softly.

"So what's the plan?" Kate whispered.

"I thought we'd make a few stops," he answered.

"You mean Albuquerque?" she smiled.

"Yeah," he replied. She kissed him and ran her hands down his face.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you," he nodded.

"I-" she began and then closed her mouth. She cuddled against him and kissed his chest softly. He pulled his own shirt up and off. He pulled her closer and ran his hand down her cheek. She kissed him and rolled over on top of him. She looked down at him and smiled again. They didn't stop kissing. They continued to pull each other's clothes off.

Kate was laying next to him with her legs tangled with his. He wasn't being talkative. He never talked much, but this was different. The silence was awkward. She had a lot on her mind too. She wanted a baby with him. She knew that he was just becoming comfortable with Aaron, and she didn't want to complicate things by asking him to have a baby, but she knew that she would be thinking about it until she said something out loud.

"Sawyer is something wrong?" she whispered.

"No," he shook his head.

"You can tell me," she said. "We supposed to be honest with each other. We're supposed to tell each other when things are bad James. Or if they're good…you need to talk to me."

"Nothing is going on Freckles," he answered. "I'm just tired. But…are you trying to make me talk because you have something to say?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I have something to say. But I don't want to say it because I don't want to argue on our wedding night. I'm so happy right now. I just don't want to ruin it."

"Well," he mumbled. "The only thing that could possibly ruin it is if you tell me that you've been sleeping with Jack-o."

"No," she shook her head. "Of course not. Jeez."

"Well when you start a conversation that way it kinda freaks me out Kate," he said.

"I want a baby," she blurted out. "I know it's-I just want our baby. I was to see what our baby would look like."

"You want a new baby right now Kate? Right this second? Because Aaron is still in diapers, he's still a baby," he sighed. "Don't you want to wait till he's a little older."

"I don't know," she answered. "It's stupid, forget I even said anything."

"Can't," he shook his head. "You're going to let this little baby idea fester until you're completely crazy."

"I'm not crazy," she argued.

"Not yet," he said. "But you're going to let the idea of having a baby bother you. I know you Kate. You're not going to let it go."

"Fine," she sighed. "I let it go."

"Can't fool me babe," he chuckled. "Kate, if you want a baby, then we will have a baby."

"Why?" she asked.

"As long as you promise that we can wait until Aaron is potty trained."

"That could take forever," she moaned, but laughed.

"Hmm, 12 years at max," he replied. She laughed again and shook her head. "Aaron is a year old Freckles. Why can't we wait a couple years?"

"We can wait a couple," she whispered. "Now…what's bothering you?"

"Nothing," he shook his head.

It took them 2 days to get to Albuquerque. Kate remembered how to get to Cassidy's house. She gave Sawyer the directions, and when they were almost there she started feeling slightly nervous.

"Why didn't you invite them to the wedding?" she asked.

"Because," he shrugged. "I didn't want Cassidy trying to ruin our wedding. I didn't want her telling you that you're making a huge mistake. You know that she would have tried to talk you out of it and you would have been upset the rest of the night."

They walked up the front steps together. Sawyer reached forward and knocked on the door. Cassidy came to the door and rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Well well well," she said.

"I'm here to see my daughter," Sawyer replied.

"Well she's taking her nap," she answered.

"So I can't see her?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm not waking her up," she responded.

"Fine," he mumbled. "Y'know, Cassidy I'm trying ok?"

"You're trying?" she scoffed. "You haven't so much as called or written one letter. You've only seen her once in her entire life. She's going to be 2 years old soon."

"We're here now," Kate answered.

"You don't have to defend him Kate," she replied.

"We got married," Kate said.

"You got married?" Cassidy asked. "And you didn't bother inviting your daughter? James, I don't get you. I don't understand how you can say that you're trying and then not invite your own daughter to your wedding. Do you even want to be part of her life?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I do. But-Cassidy…I think about it, and then I end up chickening out because I have no clue what to even say to her. She doesn't know me. I'm not really her dad, because I haven't been there…so it's hard to come into her life now."

"It is hard, but if you really cared and you really wanted to, then you could."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "There's something I need to do."

"What?" Kate asked. "Sawyer-"

"I have-" he began. "Don't be mad at me-"

Kate quickly took Sawyer by the arm and pulled him out of the house.

"What?" she asked again. "What the hell are you talking about? You're going somewhere? Sawyer, this is our honeymoon."

"I know," he nodded. "Kate, I'm sorry. I have-a couple weeks ago I got a call-I was at work. He told me that if I didn't come to Albuquerque he would make my life hell. He threatened us and Cassidy. I couldn't just-"

"Do you owe money?" she asked.

"No," he sighed. "I gave him all the money that I owe him. I have no idea why he's doing this to me. To us. But I promise you-"

"You promise me?" she scoffed. "You told me nothing was bothering you."

"I didn't want to ruin our wedding night," he replied. "Was your goal to ruin our honeymoon?" she asked.

"No," he said. "I'm going to go see this guy and then we're going to continue our way to Disneyland. I just really need you to stay here."

"No way," she shook her head. "If you're going somewhere when we're on our honeymoon, I'm coming with you. What if-"

"I know what you're going to say," he began. "I know that you're worried about something happening to me…but what if something does happen? I don't need to drag you into this."

She wrapped her arms around him and sighed deeply.

"Be careful James," she whispered.

**A/N: Hope that you guys like this chapter. Please review.**


	15. Chapter 15

Kate tried to compose herself before going back inside. When she went inside she could hear Clementine crying.

"No momma!" she cried. Cassidy was taking the stuffed elephant out of Clementine's hands. "I want Ellie!"

"Only at bedtime honey," Cassidy answered. Kate looked at the pair and smiled weakly.

"That's the-" Kate began.

"It's her favorite," Cassidy replied. "I'm just trying to get her to stop carrying it around everywhere she goes."

"I would have thought that you wouldn't have wanted her to-" Kate sighed.

"I may hate Sawyer," she started. "But I love my daughter. This elephant is the only thing she can have of her dad. Where is he?"

"He had to go," Kate whispered.

"So he didn't come here to be with his daughter at all," Cassidy said. "He's just here for stupid business crap."

"I really don't know," she sniffled. "He lied to me."

"He lied?" Cassidy chuckled. "What a surprise. Saint Sawyer lied to you. And you still want to be with him?"

"He was trying to protect me Cassidy," she sighed. "Just like he's trying to protect Clementine."

"He's not trying to protect Clementine," Cassidy scoffed. "All he wants is to stay as far away from her as possible. He doesn't want to make an effort."

"Whatever Cassidy," Kate sighed. "Can I stay here till he comes back?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Do you want to meet Clementine again."

Kate smiled and walked toward the little girl. She shook her hand and then picked her up. Kate kept looking at the time. The minutes were ticking by slowly. It had been 45 minutes. Kate was almost starting to get nervous. She wanted to know where Sawyer was. Her phone started ringing. She quickly answered it without bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Sawyer," she said.

"Kate," Claire sobbed. "Kate it's me."

"Claire?" Kate asked. "Honey what happened?

"They took him!" she screamed. "They took my baby!"

"When?" Kate breathed.

"I don't-a few minutes ago," she said. "They came in and knocked me out. I was alone in the house. They took Aaron. Kate what-what am I supposed to do? Kate."

"It's ok," Kate whispered.

"No it's not," she shook her head and sobbed. "I lost him."

"We'll be home," Kate said. "We're coming home as soon as Sawyer comes back."

"Comes back?" she asked. "Where is he?"

"I don't exactly know," she sighed. "He said something about business to attend to. How long ago did Aaron disappear?"

"I don't know," she sniffled. "He was in his bed asleep. He was sleeping through the night. I went to get him up in the morning and now he's gone. Kate I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"It's not your fault Claire," Kate whispered. "As soon as James gets back we're going to get on a plane and come back to Michigan. OK? It's ok Claire."

"OK," Claire said softly. "Call me if you hear anything ok?"

"I will," Kate nodded. "Everything is going to be ok Claire, because it has to be. We didn't go through all this crap just to lose Aaron. One last question Claire. Did you call the police?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Claire asked. "Of course I did. I called them before I called you. But since they have no idea where to even begin looking, I really don't think they're going to help in finding him."

"I don't know," Kate said.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"I know," Kate answered with a nod, even though Claire couldn't see it. "Me too. Just hang tight."

Kate hung up the phone and put her hands to her face. Cassidy was sitting next to her.

"Is everything ok?" Cassidy asked. "It sounded bad."

"Aaron's gone," Kate whispered very softly.

"What?" she asked loudly. It was much louder than Kate's soft whisper, so she even surprised herself. "Kate, you have to go to the police."

"Claire did that," Kate answered. "I just want Sawyer back here, he'll know what to do."

"Yeah," Cassidy mumbled.

"Cassidy, you can hate him all you want, but he loves me," Kate said. "He has done nothing but adore me and love me. And I love him."

"Ok," she sighed.

Sawyer walked into the restaurant they agreed on meeting at. He hated the fact that he had lied to Kate. He knew that she was probably pissed at him, but he was hoping that her fear for him would over take it. He looked at his watch and waited.

"James!" a voice said behind him. He spun around and looked at a man he didn't recognize.

"What do you want?" Sawyer asked. "Who do you work for?" "I work for a man named Charles Widmore," he answered. "I don't know anything," he replied. "And neither does my wife, so just leave us alone."

"Well I've been given strict orders to get the information that Mr. Widmore wants," he replied. "If you don't give the information that we want then your son-"

"If you so much as touch him-" Sawyer started.

"I have someone standing by waiting to take him," he replied.

"Dammit," he whispered. "What do you want to know? I don't know anything."

"We're going to leave quietly," he said softly. "You're not going to make a scene. You're going to come with me."

"Like hell," Sawyer scoffed. "I really don't think so."

"Then I really think that your son will be kidnapped," he answered. He opened his phone and Sawyer stood up.

"Fine," he said. "Where are we going?"

"Follow me," the man stated. Sawyer followed him out of the restaurant and toward a car. Sawyer got into the front seat and sighed softly. The man reached across the seat and punched him hard in the jaw. Sawyer didn't flinch or wince even though blood poured from his mouth. He shook his head and looked across the seat.

"I don't know what you want from me," he said. "I don't know anything. I got into a sub and left the island, and there's no one else there."

"Where's Benjamin Linus?" the man asked.

"How the hell should I know?" Sawyer scoffed. Sawyer got hit again and the man started driving off. It was only now that he started feeling slightly nervous. He didn't know where the guy might take him. He didn't know that this man was capable of. He was afraid of what could happen to Kate and Aaron. They drove to a house. When the car stopped the man looked at Sawyer and smirked. They each got out of the car, as they were walking up the front walk the man continued talking.

"Your son is being taken from your house right now," he said.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"He's wearing some green outfit. There's a blonde woman sleeping in the guest room," he replied.

"You son of a bitch!" Sawyer exclaimed and lunged at the man. He tackled him to the ground and the fight ensued. Punches and kicks were being thrown from both sides. Sawyer wasn't going to stop, until he was either knocked unconscious or the other guy stopped. He didn't have to wait long till he was hit in the head hard and everything went black.

When he woke up he was tied to a chair. The man threw water in his face. This time there was another person there, but it wasn't another man. It was a woman. She looked eerily like Juliet, but Sawyer knew it wasn't her.

"Where is Ben?" she asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sawyer sighed.

"Where is Ben?" she repeated.

"It's not like we kept in touch," Sawyer replied. "When a guy tortures you and keeps you hostage, you don't exactly trade e-mails."

"Where is Ben?" she said loudly and came toward him.

"Why are you here?" Sawyer asked. "Why would you do this?"

"I'm being paid a great deal of money," she answered. "Tell me where Ben is right now!"

Sawyer stayed quiet. He was punched in the face once more. It took hours for them to finally be convinced that he had nothing to do with the whereabouts of Ben. Sawyer did something that he didn't really want to…he told them to go find John Locke. After he told them about Locke, a man walked in holding Aaron. Aaron was crying. They untied Sawyer and he quickly went toward Aaron and took him from the criminal.

"Hey," he whispered. "It's ok. I've gotcha. We're gonna go home. We're gonna get you back to mommy."

Sawyer quickly left the house without waiting for anymore instructions. He got into a cab and had the cab drive him back to his car. He quickly drove back to Cassidy's house. He was relieved to be getting back to Kate.

Kate tried to relax while she waited for Sawyer, but it wasn't working. She tried distracting herself by playing with Clementine. She tried calling Sawyer several times on his cell phone, but he wasn't answering. She was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. It was nearly dark when there was movement and noise coming from the front door. She ran to the door and flung it open. Sawyer was holding Aaron who was screaming.

"Oh my God!" Kate exclaimed. "Thank God!"

She quickly put her arms around him, and he moaned painfully. She didn't notice that his face looked horribly mangled, or that he had been limping toward her. She didn't care that she was squeezing him tightly, or that Aaron had started whining and pushing her away because she was squishing him slightly. She finally backed away and looked at him.

"Sawyer?" she asked softly. She ran her hand over his bruised cheek and sighed deeply.

"I'm fine," he whispered. "Aaron's fine." Kate sobbed softly and took Aaron from Sawyer's arms. She held him closely and tried to hush him. She herself was also crying, so it was hard to comfort the crying baby. Sawyer stepped toward them and put his arms around Kate. He kissed her forehead and sighed deeply.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"God, I am now," she whispered. She bounced Aaron softly and he had calmed down. "I thought I'd never see either of you again."

Aaron was leaning against Kate's chest, with his thumb in his mouth. He had stopped crying, but was holding on to Kate tightly.

"I want to go home," she whispered.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Me too."

"Sawyer?" Cassidy asked. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he murmured.

"Let me get you some ice," she whispered.

"Mommy," Clementine gasped. "Boo boo!"

"Yeah," Cassidy nodded and smiled weakly. "He has a boo boo."

Kate lead Sawyer over to the couch and they sat down. Aaron had already fallen asleep. Clementine came into the room too and looked at Sawyer. She didn't seem to remember who Sawyer was. Cassidy came back into the room and handed Sawyer an ice pack. He held it against his face and this time winced loudly.

"Son of a-" he began.

"Little girl in the room Sawyer," Cassidy reminded him.

Sawyer closed his mouth and leaned his head back against the wall. Kate looked at him and shook her head.

"What did they want?" she whispered.

"They wanted to know where Ben was," he murmured. "I kept telling them that I didn't know. They wouldn't believe me. When they brought Aaron in...I-Kate I had to. I'm so sorry."

"You had to what?" she asked.

"I gave them Locke's name," he sighed. "I told them that Locke would know where Ben is."

"You were just trying to protect us Sawyer," she whispered. "It's ok. It's ok."

The rest of the night Sawyer didn't want to talk about what happened. He said that he was tired and he just wanted to go to bed. Cassidy gave him the guest room and he went upstairs for the rest of the night. Cassidy let Kate put Aaron down in an extra crib that she had. Kate walked up the stairs and went into the spare bedroom. Sawyer was laying in bed. He was awake, and he looked like his face was in pain. Kate sighed softly and was shaking slightly.

"James," she whispered.

"Hey" he said softly. "Kate, I'm fine. I promise. I'm fine."

"But you almost weren't," she said, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back and wrapped his arms around her. "Sawyer what would I have done? I don't know what I would have done."

"You would have been ok," he stated. "You lived without me for 3 years right?"

"Not the same thing," she murmured.

"I know," he sighed. "I know. But I'm fine."

"Yeah, you said that already," she said.

"I am," he repeated. "I don't even feel it anymore."

"Your face looks terrible," she told him.

"Good thing we're already married then," he smirked. She smiled too and leaned softly against him.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know. Come here. Come here."

"Sawyer, you're face-" she began.

"I need a little TLC," he answered. She laughed again, but leaned forward and kissed hm softly.

"I want to go home," she said.

"No Disneyland?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she scoffed and shoved him slightly.

"Come on, we can still go," he replied.

"You really want to go when you just escaped near death?" she asked.

"It's our honeymoon Kate," he said. "I mean we only really have gotten 2 days alone. You really want to be back with Aaron already?"

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Yes! We could have lost him!"

"I know," he sighed. "I know...that's not what I meant. I just meant...Kate I want some time with you. Some time alone. Some time where it's just the two of us, without a crying baby."

"I know," she nodded. "I get what you mean, but-I don't want to chance it. I just want to get him home."

"OK," he mumbled. "But we should go away again then. We should take a real honeymoon. One that I don't screw up."

"You didn't screw it up," she whispered. "Charles Widmore did. And I promise we'll go away again. Sometime soon. But I don't really think we could leave Aaron with Cassidy. And we're not taking him with us on our honeymoon."

"Alright," he said. "Goodnight Kate."

"Goodnight."

**A/N: Please review!!!**


	16. Chapter 16

**2 Years Later**

Kate was driving home, from picking Aaron up from pre-school.

"Mommy I want to see Miss Claire again!" he exclaimed. Claire was his pre-school teacher. Sawyer and Jack both thought it was a bad idea, but Kate thought everything would be fine. Claire had moved into her own apartment, away from Jack and Juliet. Kate knew that in no time it would mean that Juliet and Jack would get together. She was right. Within 9 months of Claire moving out, Jack and Juliet got engaged. Sawyer kept insisting that it was a shotgun wedding, but it wasn't. Kate and Sawyer talked about having another baby. She knew that he wasn't entirely excited about the prospect of becoming a father again. She thought maybe once she was pregnant, Sawyer would get over it, but at the same time, she didn't want to trick him by going off her birth control without telling him. Sawyer hadn't been back to see Clementine. He had called her a few times in the last 2 years, and sent her birthday presents and Christmas presents, but it was really the only contact he had with her.

That night Jack and Juliet were throwing a party, for their year anniversary. Sawyer didn't want to go, but Kate said that it was their duty at their friends to show up.

"Mommy, I have to go potty," Aaron said.

"Well, we're almost home," she told him.

"No mommy now!" he exclaimed.

"Sweetheart, we'll be home in a few minutes."

Kate continued to drive. When she drove into the driveway Aaron was whining. She opened the door and looked at him.

"We're home," she said.

"I wet my pants," he cried. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She picked him up and carried him into the house. Sawyer came to the door and looked at Kate.

"Hey," he said softly. "What's going on?"

"He wet his pants," she sighed again. She continued to walk up the stairs, and Aaron continued to cry. She carried him into the bathroom and set him down.

"Up mommy!" he screamed.

"Aaron you do not yell at me," she said. "I am trying to help you. Come on."

"I want daddy," he stated. Sawyer walked into the bathroom and Kate left. She went into the other bedroom. She put her head down in her hands. Several minutes later she heard Aaron giggling. She didn't get up.

"I want you to stay in here for a few minutes ok?" she heard Sawyer say to Aaron. "I'm gonna go talk to mommy."

Sawyer came back into the bedroom and sat down next to Kate. He sighed and looked at her.

"You want to try for that second kid?" he asked, somewhat sarcastically.

"Shut up," she scoffed, but was smiling. "I was-no forget it."

"You want to try," he said softly. "I know you do. You wanted to try practically as soon as we were married."

"I know you don't though," she whispered. "Never mind."

"Kate, y'know we never got to have that honeymoon," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "I just-"

"So then come away with me," he replied. "This time on a plane. We'll fly to California tonight and go to Disneyland."

"Aaron would hate us forever if we went without him," she said.

"Well then he can come too," he answered.

"And when will we have time for ourselves?" she asked softly.

"I have a confession," he murmured.

"What?" she said, with a slightly warning tone.

"Well," he began. He got up from his spot and went to his bedside table. He pulled out something that Kate couldn't quite see. He handed her two tickets to California. "I bought us tickets to California."

"What?" she asked.

"I know I should have asked you about it first," he started. "But school's out for winter break. 3 weeks. Being a professor at the University I get time off too. And I know you've been really stir crazy in the house with Aaron. So I think we should go."

"What about Aaron?" she asked.

"Well there's a ticket for him too," he answered. "And…well I found out that Jack and Juliet took some time off for their anniversary so they're coming too."

"What?" she inquired. "Jack and Juliet are coming?"

"Claire too," he said. "So…we'll have fun with our friends and our son, but Claire volunteered to take Aaron at night. Maybe not every night, but enough nights to where we can have our time alone."

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" she whispered.

"Not yet today," he answered. She leaned toward him and kissed him softly and slowly. They laid down on the bed and continued to kiss.

"Mommy," Aaron said appearing in the doorway. Sawyer grumbled softly and Kate sat up. She looked down at Sawyer and mouthed the word "tonight".

"Yeah," he stated, skeptically. She picked Aaron up and left the room.

* * *

"Mommy I want to get down," Aaron said. "Too high mommy. Too high."

They were in the airplane on the way to Disneyland. Kate chuckled softly and looked at him. It was the red-eye. Kate wished that Aaron would go to sleep, but he was too excited.

"Shh," she whispered. "Honey, come here."

She picked him up and put him between her and Sawyer. Sawyer was sleeping soundly. She chuckled again and shook her head.

"Go to sleep Aaron."

"Fine," he whined. Aaron closed his eyes and within minutes he was sleeping too. Kate stayed awake for the whole flight. When the plane landed it shook and Kate gasped softly. She felt Sawyer's hand comfortingly on her own. They de-boarded the plane and Kate carried Aaron to a cab. Claire shared a cab with her and Sawyer. They were going to be sharing a hotel too, with Claire in a room next to theirs. Kate and Sawyer went into their room after saying goodnight to Claire. It was earlier in California than Michigan, but it was still late at night. Kate opened the door and realized that they were going to be in the honeymoon suite.

"Sawyer!" she gasped. He smirked when she turned around. She turned back toward the room and put her hand to her chest. She turned back around and shook her head. "Oh my God."

"Full honeymoon treatment baby," he said with a smile. She let out soft laugh out and wrapped her arms around him. She yawned and let go of him. She got her pajamas on and climbed into bed. The bed was more comfortable than their own. Sawyer got into the bed next to her and pulled her toward him. "Comfy bed huh."

"I could lay in bed for days," she answered. She leaned forward and kissed him gently. He deepened the kiss. She let out a soft moan and then pushed him away. "Sawyer…it's nearly 2:00 in the morning…and with the time difference, it's really 5:00 for us. Let's go to sleep. We have all day tomorrow and all night too."

"Ok," he mumbled. "Fine."

"Aw," she said somewhat sarcastically. "Sorry. I mean…I'm tired James. Aren't you?"

"No," he shook his head. "Not tired at all. I could stay up all night."

"Come on," she scoffed. "You're not at all tired?"

"Nope," he answered. "I'm wide awake. But you can sleep. I'll just stay up and watch you."

He ran his hand over her cheek and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and then rolled over on top of him. He rested his hands on her hips. And smirked.

"I thought you were tired," he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I was."

"Not anymore?" he asked.

"Nope," she shook her head and yawned. He smiled and rolled them back over.

"Kate, you're tired," he told her.

"No I'm not," she responded.

"I don't need you fallin' asleep on me," he said. She laughed and closed her eyes briefly.

"I'm awake," she whispered.

"I can wait till tomorrow," he said quietly.

"Fine," she stated. "Your loss."

She fell asleep very quickly after the conversation. They hadn't been sleeping well lately because Aaron had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and coming into their bed. Kate always let him, which sometimes annoyed Sawyer, but he always kept his mouth shut.

The next day Sawyer and Kate spent the day at the beach with Aaron. Kate was almost glad to be back on the beach. A part of her, a very small part of her almost missed living on the beach. Juliet and Jack and Claire joined them later on. Kate felt slightly bad that Claire was a fifth wheel, but she also didn't want to make her feel left out by not inviting her. Claire spent a lot of time with Aaron throughout the day. They all swam in the ocean and then had a picnic on the beach.

That night Claire took Aaron again. He wasn't very happy about it, but he eventually went with her. Kate felt guilty, but Sawyer assured her that he wouldn't be scarred from it. Sawyer was taking Kate out for a fancy dinner. She was in the bedroom area dressed and ready, but Sawyer was still in the bathroom. She found it slightly comical that it was taking him longer to get ready. She knocked on the door.

"Sawyer?" she asked. "Come on! Let's go. I'm hungry."

"Just a second!" he exclaimed.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed back. She knocked on the door again and then opened it. Sawyer was standing at the mirror trying to tie his tie. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"Sawyer, you don't have to wear a tie," she chuckled. "There ain't no body to impress baby…you already got the girl."

"The restaurant I'm taking you to is coat and tie only," he mumbled. She smiled again and shook her head, slightly unbelieving. Then he continued. "I told you, full honeymoon treatment…even though our kid and friends are with us."

She chuckled and started helping him with the tie. She had just as hard of a time with it, but eventually she got it tied and they left the hotel. They went to a beautiful restaurant. After dinner Sawyer convinced Kate to take a walk on the beach.

They stopped where there was a small hill of large rocks. Sawyer helped pull Kate up to the top. They had a great view of the ocean and the waves. Kate sat down and rested her head against Sawyer's shoulder.

"This is beautiful Sawyer," she whispered.

"I think that Claire should take Aaron every day this week," he said to her. She looked at him with slightly furrowed eyebrows. "Do you have your birth control with you?"

"Of course I do," she answered. "I'm not going to just stop taking my birth control so that I can get myself pregnant without you being any the wiser. I mean what kind of person do you think I am James? I thought that you trusted me."

"Whoa," he said softly. "Kate I do believe you. And that's not entirely what I meant. I meant, do you have them with you right now. Do you have them in your purse?"

"Actually," she began and pulled them out of her purse. "Yeah."

"Can I see 'em?" he asked.

"You trust me huh?" she whispered, but went into her purse and handed them to him. He looked down at them and then looked up at her.

"You want a baby?" he asked softly.

"Sawyer, I don't-" she began.

"You're not forcin' me to do nothin'," he replied, anticipating what she was going to say to him. He went to throw them into the water below them. She grabbed his hand and stopped him. "Kate, I want this-"

"Well you can't just throw my birth control away," she said. "It would screw up my entire cycle. I have to finish this round."

"Fine," he said. "Take the pills out of the box, and we'll throw the box into the ocean…symbolic."

"James," she chuckled and shoved him. "We've been married for over 2 years. You don't have to be so cutesy with me."

"I know," he sighed. "But I'm serious Kate. I told you when we first got together that we could start trying having a baby when Aaron got a little older. Well Aaron is almost 4. By the time we have a baby he'll be almost 5. I just think that we can try. Maybe just one more."

"What if it's a boy?" she asked.

"So now, you want a baby, and on top of that it's gotta be a girl?" he asked. "That's a lotta pressure for me Kate."

They both laughed lowly. Kate shook her head and sighed softly.

"No," she replied. "No pressure. But I do think that it would be nice to have a little girl."

"Well," he mumbled. "If we have a boy, then in a couple more years we'll try for a girl."

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too," he replied, and wrapped his arm up around her.

**5 Weeks Later**

Kate ran down the stairs with the pee stick. Aaron was at daycare. Sawyer was home. He got up and looked at her.

"Well?" he asked.

"I don't know yet," she answered.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "You've been up there for 15 minutes, how many damn minutes are those things supposed to take. I thought it would be 5 at max."

"Well I had a little stage fright Sawyer," she responded. "At first I was scared to go, and then I dunno…something happened and I couldn't go. Shut up and leave me alone. Just hold my hand."

He held her shoulders first and kissed her softly.

"Calm down," he whispered. "This is only attempt number one. We'll figure it out. It took my parents over a year to try and get pregnant with me. Although, I guess that coulda been because they were cheating on each other."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Do we have to talk about something like that right now?"

"I'm not cheating," he replied. "And I trust you. I know you're not. I'm just saying, that could have been the problem with my parents."

"The cheating went on for that long?" she asked softly.

"Well one can only guess, since they're not here for me to ask," he murmured. "Ok…is it time yet?"

"No," she shook her head.

"How long is it supposed to take? You never told me," he said.

"I don't know," she answered. He rolled his eyes and sighed softly. They walked back upstairs to look at the instructions on the box. The box said to wait 4 minutes. Kate looked down…

**A/N: OK…so this is a little off topic, but…I just wanted to say…have any of you been watching Flashforward. It's a great new show. I absolutely love it. The main character sorta reminds me of Jack a bit. But Sonya Walger (Penny) is in it as one of the main characters. And then this week Kim Dickens (Cassidy) was in it and her character's name was Kate. I found it really funny. I was like "Mom! Sawyer's baby momma's name is Kate on this show!" She didn't find it as amusing as I did, but I thought maybe you guys would appreciate that. And then her ex-husband's name was Aaron. It just really made me think of Lost while I was watching it…and it's all about time travel and things. Anyway thanks for my continued readers! The couple reviewers are awesome too, but it would be even more awesome if I had a few more!**


	17. Chapter 17

Kate looked at the test and then looked back up at Sawyer. He took her hand and squeezed it.

"What's it say?" he asked softly. She looked at him and smiled widely.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "It says yes!"

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her up off the ground and spun her around. She kissed him and pulled him closer.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. He kissed her again and they made their way into the bedroom. Sawyer sat down on the bed and Kate followed him. She straddled his legs and put her hands on his face. She smiled at him and continued to kiss him. They laid down on the bed. Kate let out a soft breath and smiled up at him.

"Are you ready?" she asked. "Are you ready to be a daddy again?"

"Don't really have much of a choice huh?" he whispered and kissed her.

**10 Years Later**

Sawyer continued to have some contact with Clementine, but not very much. He wrote her letters and saw her about once a year, sometimes less. Clementine was coming to spend the summer with them because her mom was going to Europe for two months for work and Clementine couldn't come along.

"Dad!" Clementine exclaimed getting out of the cab. Sawyer came out of the house and Clementine ran up the steps and jumped into his arms.

"Hey," he chuckled and hugged her back.

"Dad I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too," he told her.

"Dad!" Aaron exclaimed, coming out of the house. "It's time for my soccer game. Hey Clem. You wanna come? We're the champs so far, right dad?"

"You're coaching Aaron's soccer team?" Clementine said slightly unbelieving. "Why didn't you tell me in your letters?"

"Because I knew you'd make fun of me," he smirked.

"Damn right," she laughed. "What does Kate think about that?"

"I don't know," he shook his head. "She probably thinks I'm crazy."

Kate came out of the house with a boy following her quickly. He had curly and unruly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He walked up behind Aaron and shoved him. Aaron didn't say anything, but he stumbled and nearly fell off the porch.

"Jimmy Ford!" Kate exclaimed loudly. "No shoving."

"I was just playing," Jimmy defended himself.

"I'll get him later mom, don't worry," Aaron said, slightly threateningly. Clementine noticed that Kate was holding a small child on her hip. The little girl didn't look like she could be much older than a year or two. The girl also didn't resemble Kate or Sawyer. She had bright red hair that almost looked fake. She pushed her face against Kate's neck. Kate smiled and whispered to the little girl that everything was ok. Clementine furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.

"Um…dad that's not Maya," she said softly. "Maya is 8 and not a redhead."

"It's sorta a surprise Clem," Sawyer answered. "This is Angelina. She's two years old, she's your new little sister."

"You guys had a kid and didn't tell me for 2 years?" she scoffed, crossing her arms. "Really? I mean…2 years? And not counting when Kate was pregnant, which means it's been nearly 3 years! Am I even considered your daughter anymore?"

"She's not," he sighed. "Clem believe me…she's not-well she's ours now. She isn't ours biologically. She was our next door neighbor's daughter. Her parents died in a car crash. We had to do something."

"So you just decided to take her in?" she asked. "Dad-"

"Are you mad about it?" he interrupted. "Clementine, she has no parents. She would have been put into foster care and bounced around for who knows how many years. She has no family. But now she does."

"Fine, whatever," she sighed.

"Dad we gotta go!" Aaron exclaimed.

"You're right, come on," he said quickly and escorted Aaron to the car. "Kate, are you guys coming? The game starts at 1:00."

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "We'll come."

"After the game we'll go out for an early dinner," Sawyer told Clementine.

"You promised to take the team out for pizza dad!" Aaron argued. "Remember? Win or lose?"

"Well can your big sister come too?" Sawyer asked.

"No," Clementine said. "I don't want to. It doesn't matter. I don't want to go to some stupid soccer game either."

Clementine went into the house and shut the door loudly. She let out a frustrated scream. Sawyer started going back up the steps.

"Dad we're gonna be late!" Aaron exclaimed.

"He's right," Kate said. "You guys go."

"Can I come too?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes," Sawyer said. "Get in the car guys. Kate, are you-"

"I'll just stay here with the girls," she said. "I think Maya wants to stay too."

"The little girls can stay with Clem," he replied.

"It's not Clem's responsibility," she answered. "I'll just come to the next game. Tell Aaron I love him and good luck. Make sure he doesn't get hurt."

"Kate, he'll be fine," Sawyer chuckled.

After Clementine had her short temper tantrum she heard the TV, and then she heard her sister.

"Be quiet!" a voice came from the living room. "I'm watching High School Musical."

"Maya," Clementine said. "Your big sister is here."

"Your not really my sister," Maya replied.

"Yes I am you little brat," she scoffed. "We have the same dad. It makes us sisters."

"Well I never see you," she answered. "I've seen you only twice my entire life."

"It's not my fault," Clementine stated. "I live in New Mexico. What am I supposed to do?"

"Tell your mom that you want to come visit your little sister more often."

Kate came back into the house and set Angelina down. Angelina walked toward Clementine and then stopped and wrapped her arms around one of Clementine's legs. Clementine looked down at the little girl, but didn't say anything.

"Hi," Angelina said with a smile.

"Hi," Clementine mumbled.

"Clem, do you want me to put your bags up in Maya's room? You guys can share," Kate told her.

"Whatever," she sighed.

"Is that your new favorite word?" Kate asked.

"Yep," she replied. "Can I borrow your car?"

"No," Kate answered. "You don't have your license yet. Your mom warned me about that."

"Oh yeah, I'm such a horrible kid," Clementine replied. "That's the real reason I'm staying here for the summer. My mom can't even stand to be around me. Where's the bedroom…I'm tired and I just want to be alone."

"Your dad will be home around 4."

"He doesn't even want me here," she mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Yes he does," Kate responded. "It was his idea to have you come for the summer. He loves you."

"Yeah?" she asked. "Then how come I've only seen Maya twice in her entire life? And by the way that's not a question that you have to answer. I'm going upstairs."

Clementine stepped over Angelina who was still holding on to her leg. She picked up both of her bags and ran up the stairs.

* * *

Later that night Clementine heard lots of commotion coming from downstairs. She started down the steps, and stopped at the landing to listen to the family.

"And I just blasted that ball right into the goal!" Aaron exclaimed. "It was awesome mom. I wish that you had been there."

"Yeah!" Jimmy exclaimed. "And Brad got a bloody nose because he got hit with the ball. The kid who hit the ball was thrown out of the game! It was hilarious!"

"Jimmy!" Kate exclaimed, but was still chuckling. "That's not very nice."

"Brad's fine," Sawyer assured her. "He was kinda glad it happened because the player that was thrown out of the game was one of their better players."

"Mom, will you come to the next game?" Aaron asked.

"I'll come to your next 40 games," Kate replied. "I just thought I should have been here with Clementine."

"Well next week we'll all go," Sawyer answered. "He did great Kate, you would have been proud."

"Dad, I want to get my ears pierced!" Maya exclaimed. "Can I? I already asked mom, and she said that I would have to ask you."

"I don't care," he chuckled. "If you want to. Yeah."

"Yes!" Maya exclaimed. "Told you so mom!"

"Daddy," Angelina said softly and walked over to Sawyer. Sawyer picked her up and they all started talking at once.

"She called you daddy, daddy!" Maya exclaimed. "She said daddy! I think she finally feels like we're her family."

Sawyer smiled at Kate. She stepped toward them and kissed Maya on the cheek and then kissed Sawyer's lips.

"I'm glad that we have Angelina," Jimmy said softly. "I'm also glad that Missy Claire gave Aaron to us too. It would be weird if we weren't brothers."

"Jimmy, shh," Kate scolded.

"It's ok mom," Aaron stated. "Don't worry Jimmy, we'll always be brothers."

Clementine ran up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door hard. Sawyer looked up the stairs and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Is Clem up there?" Sawyer whispered. Kate closed her eyes, realizing what probably happened. She nodded and sighed softly.

"I'll go talk to her," Kate said.

"No," he shook his head. "This is my responsibility."

He walked up the stairs and went to Maya's bedroom. He knocked on the door before opening it. He was glad that there wasn't a lock on the door. He let himself into the room. Clementine was unpacking some of her stuff. She started pulling things out of the suitcase somewhat frantically. She found what she was looking for and threw it hard against the door, but since the door was open it flew toward Sawyer. He caught it before it hit him in the face. It was the elephant that he had given to her 14 years ago. He sighed and came into the room. He sat down next to where she was kneeling. He handed her the elephant and sighed again.

"You don't want Ellie anymore?" he asked. She snatched the stuffed animal back from him and squeezed it. "Did you hear what was going on downstairs?"

"What was your first guess?" she mumbled.

"I don't know what's going on with you," he said softly. "You're my daughter."

"No I'm not," she scoffed. "Angelina is your daughter. How long have you had her dad?"

"4 weeks," he whispered.

"4 weeks!" she exclaimed. "And she's already calling you daddy! You don't want me…you never wanted me!"

"Shh," he shook his head. "Clementine, that is so far from the truth. I wish that I had more time with you. That's why I wanted you to come stay with me for the summer. I want you here Clem. Tomorrow we'll hang out. Just the two of us. We'll do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Name it."

"I want to learn how to drive," she smiled. "Mom lets me drive sometimes, but I want to learn how to drive a stick-shift."

"Ok," he nodded. "We'll go tomorrow."

The next day Kate stayed with the other kids, while Sawyer took Clementine driving. Sawyer drove them to an empty parking lot. He was sitting in the front seat, waiting for Clementine to start the car.

"Dad, why don't you come see me more often?" she whispered.

"Clementine we see each other once a year," he said. "I know it's not much, but I don't know what else you want me to do. I mean I work. I come see you when I have a chance."

"Never mind," she mumbled. She started the car, and it immediately stalled. She sighed and looked over at Sawyer.

"I don't know why you're looking at me," he shrugged.

"Tell me what I'm doing wrong!" she exclaimed.

"Were you holding down the clutch?" he asked.

"Shut up," she scoffed. She started the car again and they started moving. As soon as she stopped and tried going again she stalled out again. She grumbled again. They worked at it for 2 hours before Clementine gave up and wanted to go home. She was sitting in the passenger seat again. Sawyer hadn't started the car yet. He looked over at her.

"You did good today hon," he said.

"Please," she scoffed. " I know I suck. And you don't have to call me hon. I just want to go home."

"Ok, we'll go home," he replied.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I mean home home. My real home, instead of this fake life with you. You're trying way too hard to be nice to me dad. I know that you could care less of what happens to me."

"Come on," he shook his head. "You know that's not true. You know I love you."

"No I don't, but it's ok. Don't say anything, it would just be really insincere," she told him.

"Ok!" he exclaimed. "You just stop it right now! Stop being such a brat! Yes, I have a family. I have a life without you, but it doesn't mean I love you any less than your brothers and sisters."

"I don't have any brothers and sisters," she argued. She quickly left the car and started running across the parking lot. Sawyer got out of the car to chase her. She started running faster. "Leave me alone! Just go home to your family!"

"Get your ass back in the car right now!" he exclaimed.

"No!" she screamed. He quickly grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the car. He practically threw her back into the car and slammed the door. He got into the car and drove off. Clementine crossed her arms and the rest of the car ride was silent. When they got back to the house Clementine got out of the car and ran up to her bedroom. Sawyer looked up the stairs and sighed deeply. He felt someone tapping his foot and looked down at Angelina. She smiled at him and raised her arms up. He picked her up and sighed again.

"Hey," he whispered. "Where's mama?"

Angelina hugged Sawyer and he chuckled softly.

"Thanks," he said. "I really needed a hug."

"Dad!" Jimmy came into the room. "We have a surprise!"

"What kind of surprise?" he asked. Sawyer followed Jimmy into the kitchen. Maya and Aaron were helping Kate in the kitchen. They had made several dishes.

"We made dinner!" Jimmy exclaimed. "It's almost done."

"It's only 2:00 in the afternoon," Sawyer chuckled.

"We wanted to have it all ready. We'll heat it up when it comes closer to dinner," Kate answered. "Where's Clementine?"

"She's-" Sawyer sighed. "She's up stairs. I think that she really just needs some time to cool off."

Later that night they were eating dinner. Clementine refused to come downstairs. They tried to get her to come down for dinner, but there wasn't an answer at the door.

"Maybe we should bring her a plate of food," Aaron said. "I mean…she has to be hungry."

"Aaron's got a crush, Aaron's got a crush," Jimmy started singing and then Jimmy and Maya both joined in.

"Shut up!" Aaron exclaimed, but the rest of the kids continued. "I do not!"

"It's ok Aaron, you're not related to her in anyway," Maya said. "You two could totally get married and have blonde haired babies."

"Stop it!" he exclaimed "Mom make her stop."

"That's enough Maya," Kate smirked. She looked over at Sawyer and shook her head.

"Aaron crush," Angelina said softly. Kate and Sawyer both laughed and soon everyone else at the table were laughing, even Aaron.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the family, Clementine was standing in the doorway watching the family. Although she had found it slightly amusing that everyone thought Aaron had a crush on her, it still pissed her off that they hadn't cared that she wasn't there. She decided to leave the house to see if they would notice.

Everyone else was clearing the dinner dishes. Aaron was getting bowls out for ice cream. Angelina was sitting on the counter next to the sink watching Sawyer wash the dishes. He splashed her with water and she chuckled softly. Kate walked over to them and Angelina reached her hands up. She hardly ever talked, even though she was 3 and perfectly capable. The doctors said it was the trauma from not having her parents.

"Mommy, daddy funny!" Angelina exclaimed. Kate smiled and picked her up. Jimmy walked over to her and took Angelina from Kate.

"Do you want ice cream mom?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," she said.

After they ate ice cream, Kate told the kids to go up to bed. They all went up the stairs together. When Maya went into her room, she came right back out.

"Mom, Clementine's gone," she said.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. Maya dragged Kate back into the bedroom, and sure enough it was empty. They checked every room in the house and Clementine gone. Sawyer was pissed, but Kate was slightly worried. She didn't think that Clementine should be out at night alone in a town she knew nothing about. Especially with the University just a few miles from their house.

"I think we should go look for her," Kate said.

"Why?" Sawyer asked. "She will be back. Or maybe she took a cab somewhere."

"Sawyer, she's only 16 years old!" Kate exclaimed. "I'll go look for her and you can stay with the other kids then. I don't care. I just think that we should find her."

"Ok," he murmured. "But maybe it should be me to go and find her."

"Alright," she nodded. "I'll stay here with the kids…and maybe she'll call or something."

"Ok," he sighed.

He left the house and Kate went back downstairs. She sat by the phone, hoping that it would ring. Hoping that Sawyer would call or Clementine would. She looked at the clock. As the time ticked away she was getting more and more nervous. She was waiting and waiting. Sawyer had been gone nearly an hour and now she was getting a little worried about him too. She picked up the phone to dial it, but before she could the phone rang. She jumped up and answered it.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Kate?" Clementine sniffled.

"Clementine, where are you?" she said, slightly angrily. "We've been worried sick."

"Good," Clementine murmured softly.

"Where are you?!" she exclaimed.

"I got lost," Clementine said. "My dad just found me and he told me to call you."

"Are you ok?" Kate whispered.

"Fine," she mumbled. "My dad's pissed though. He won't even talk to me."

"Can you really blame him?" she asked. " I mean really Clementine…you just ran away…that's something that a 4 year old does!"

"I don't have to talk to you," Clementine exclaimed. "You're not my mom anyway!"

She hung up the phone and then Kate did. She was sure that Sawyer would most likely yell at her some more after Clementine hung up on her. She was mad, but just happy that she was ok. When they got back home, Clementine started up the stairs.

"Stop it right there young lady," Sawyer said. "I still need to talk to you and we're not doing it upstairs so you can wake up the whole house."

"You didn't say a word to me on the drive home," she replied. "Why do you want to talk to me now?"

"Why did you leave?" he stated calmly. "Why did you run away?"

"Because you don't want me," she whispered. "And I wanted to see if you'd notice."

"Clementine," he sighed.

"Why dad?" she sobbed. "Why? Why wasn't I good enough to-you can raise Aaron who isn't yours, and some new kid, who's not yours either. You can love them both like they were your own, but me? Why don't you want me as your daughter."

"Clementine," he whispered.

She quickly went upstairs and slammed the bedroom door.

Sawyer let out a loud sigh and looked over at Kate. She got up and walked toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and let out another deep breath

"She's ok. Just remember that. She's back and ok," Kate said.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "She thinks I would rather raise kids that aren't mine, than her. She's pissed that we have another new kid. I probably should have told her to warn her, but I couldn't-"

"Do you want me to go talk to her?" she asked.

"I don't know. It might make things worse," he said.

"But it might not," she answered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Go ahead. I'll wait down here."

She walked past him and went up the stairs. She knocked on the door and then opened it. Clementine was laying on the bed. Her elephant was on her pillow. It was ragged and well loved. She turned over when she heard the door open. Maya was not sleeping. She was sitting on the bed that Clementine was laying on. Kate figured she was trying to talk to her but Clementine was staying quiet.

"My," Kate began, talking to Maya. "Can you go wait in the hall? I need to talk to Clementine."

"Fine," Maya mumbled. She left the bedroom and shut the door quietly behind her. Clementine looked at Kate and sighed deeply.

"Now he's having you come fight his battles?" she asked.

"No," Kate shook her head. "I came up here on my own. Listen to me Clem. Your dad really really loves you. He hates that he doesn't get to see you very often. He wants to see you more often."

"Then why doesn't he?" she asked.

"You know that he can't. It's not-" Kate began.

"Just forget it Kate, I just want to go home," she sniffled. "Why did you and my dad decided to just adopt some kid out of the blue? I mean…you already have 3 kids…and sort of me. Why would you want another kid. She's cute an all but, isn't it a lot. I mean you both have jobs. Neither of you are free enough to come see me. How come you have enough time to raise another kid?"

"Your dad already told you," Kate said. "Her parents died. She had no where to go. Clementine, believe me, it's not that he would rather raise another kid rather than you. He wants to be there for you Clem. It's hard for him. Believe me."

"Whatever Kate, stop trying to make me feel better," Clementine shook his head.

"Fine," she answered. "I'll leave you alone, but Clementine, never forget how much your father loves you. Never forget what he did for you."

"What?" Clementine whispered.

"Never mind," Kate shook her head. "It's too late now."

"What do you mean?" Clementine asked. "You have to tell me Kate. I'm old enough."

"Your dad," Kate sighed loudly. "Remember how we talked about the island?"

"Yeah," Clementine nodded.

"Well your dad told me on the island about you," she said softly. "He told me that the first thing we had to do when we got home was make sure you were taken care of. That's why he opened that bank account in your name."

"But I don't care about money!" she exclaimed. "I want a dad. He would rather send me money and presents and letters, than be my dad."

"Is this coming from you or your mom?" Kate asked.

"Gimme a break Kate," Clementine scoffed. "I'm 16 years old! I can make my own decisions about my dad."

"He feels guilty," Kate said. "I know you don't believe me, but he does. And he loves you. He wants to spend time with you this summer."

"When he's not busy working and coaching soccer and taking Maya to get her ears pierced," she said. "Or playing with Jimmy and Angelina. I'm old enough to know he's not going to ever love me like he loves them. They're his babies. I'm just some chore. You can go away now."

"Don't speak to me that way," Kate replied. "This is my house. I can come and go when I please in and out of whatever room I want."

"Fine," Clementine mumbled. "Will you please leave the room because I really want to just be alone."

"Fine," Kate sighed. "Clementine, believe me…you're not the only one hurting right now."

Kate left the room and Maya stood up and walked toward her.

"Is Clementine ok?" she asked.

"I don't know baby," she whispered. "Maybe you should go sleep on the floor in the boys room. Clementine needs some time alone."

"Do I gotta?" Maya asked.

"I suppose not," Kate replied. "But just be aware you might get the wrath of Clem."

Maya went into the bedroom and Kate didn't hear any noise. She shrugged to herself and then went back downstairs. She sat down on the couch next to Sawyer and sighed deeply.

"She misses you," she said. "She thinks you don't love her."

"She's insane," Sawyer scoffed.

"I know," Kate nodded. "I mean, I know that you love her. I just-maybe you should do something about it."

"Like what?" he asked. "Kate, I've tried everything to convince her. She just won't believe me."

"I have an idea then," she said. "I don't know if it will work, but take her to lunch tomorrow and then a movie. Make her believe that you want to be her dad."

"Yeah," he whispered.

The next day when Sawyer woke up he went into the girls room. Clementine was sitting on the floor putting her shoes on.

"Thinkin' of jumping out the window again?"

"No," she sighed.

"Come on," he said.

"Come on where?" she asked.

"We're going to spend the day together."

"Tried that already remember dad?" she asked. "Didn't really work too well."

"It didn't work, because you wouldn't let it work. Come on," he said.

They were driving again. This time Clementine was driving. Sawyer was telling her where to go. They arrived at a small house with a tire swing in the front yard. Clementine looked at her dad and sighed softly.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Come on," he replied. He got out of the car and they walked up the front steps of the house. Clementine reluctantly followed him. When they got to the front door Sawyer knocked. Clementine crossed her arms and sighed softly.

"Straighten your attitude up Clementine," Sawyer said. She uncrossed her arms, but sighed again. The door opened and Juliet stood in front of them. She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he said. "How are you doing today?"

"Not too good," she sniffled. "It's a bad day."

"How's Nora?" he asked.

"She's up in her room."

"Dad wh-" Clementine began.

"This is Juliet," Sawyer started. "You remember Juliet right?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Jack and Juliet. But what-"

"Come with me," he replied. He took her by the hand and lead her up the stairs. Juliet stayed downstairs. Clementine looked over her shoulder and saw Juliet walking over to a small boy, who looked 5 or 6. She saw Juliet wipe her tears. Clementine furrowed her eyebrows, but continued to follow Sawyer up the stairs. When they got to the top of the stair case, Sawyer turned the corner and went to a bedroom. There were flowers painted on the door. He knocked on the door.

"Go away!" a girl's voice screamed loudly on the other side of the door.

"Nora?" Sawyer said quietly. "Nora, it's Sawyer."

They heard movement coming from the bedroom and then the door opened. Nora wrapped her arms around Sawyers middle and sobbed softly. Sawyer bent down and put his hand against her head.

"Hey," he whispered. "Your mom said that it was a bad day. You ok?"

"No," she sobbed. "No!"

Clementine looked at the scene somewhat awkwardly. She looked at Sawyer.

"Dad, why are we here?" Clementine asked.

"Clem," he began. "This is Nora."

"Hi Nora," Clementine smiled weakly.

"Hi," she sniffled and rubbed her eyes.

"She's 9," Sawyer continued. "Her daddy…6 months ago, her daddy saved her life."

"What?" Clementine asked.

"They were walking to the park one winter. They were going to go sledding, right Nora?" Sawyer asked. Nora nodded, but didn't say anything. "There was a car coming down the road, going way too fast. It came up the curb and Jack pushed Nora out of the way to make sure that she didn't get hit. The car hit Jack going almost 30 miles an hour. Doesn't sound very fast, but Jack died."

"I'm sorry," Clementine whispered.

"I come see Nora and Jackie every so often," Sawyer said. "Jackie is Nora's brother. I'm sorta like a second dad to them too."

"Dad," Clementine began.

"I love Nora and Jackie," he stated. "Just like I love you."

"Dad this isn't making me feel any better," she said, leaving the room and going down the stairs. Nora looked at Sawyer and shook her head.

"Are you and Kate going to bring everyone else over for dinner soon?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Totally. But for now…I gotta go chase after Clementine."

"You should buy her ice cream," Nora said. "That always makes me feel better."

Sawyer chuckled and hugged Nora softly.

"You're a good kid Nor," he whispered. "You know that?"

"Mom tells me all the time," she answered. Sawyer left the room and went downstairs. Juliet was talking to Clementine, so he stopped at the steps.

"My dad thought this would make me feel better," Clementine sniffled. "But it really doesn't. I mean…look at all the kids he takes care of, and he doesn't take care of me."

"Clementine, he would take care of you all the time if he could," Juliet answered. "I think he brought you here to tell you that he would be your father if you were here. He's not blaming it on you that you don't live here, but-lemme show you something."

Juliet brought Clementine over to the shelves that there were a bunch of pictures.

"Clementine he is so proud of you," she said. "He gives me your school picture every year to show how beautiful you are. He says all the time 'I wish she lived here'."

"I wish I believed you," Clementine whispered.

"Clementine!" Jackie exclaimed. "Mommy, this is Clementine?!"

"Yeah," Juliet chuckled.

"Uncle Sawyer talks about you all the time!" Jackie exclaimed.

Sawyer came the rest of the way downstairs and looked at Clementine. Clementine looked back at the wall of pictures. There were several pictures of the Shephard family, as well as pictures of her own family. Clementine saw a couple pictures of herself. She looked at Juliet who was looking back at Sawyer. Clementine turned back toward Sawyer and walked toward him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed deeply.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" he asked with a soft smile. Clementine chuckled softly.

"I love you dad," she whispered.

"I love you too honey," he said.

"Don't die," she whispered, very quietly, so only he could hear her. "I want you to see me get married someday."

"I will," he answered and ran his hand over her cheek. "I'll be walkin' you down the aisle some day."

He kissed her softly on the forehead and pulled her back into the hug.

**A/N: Don't hate me for killing Jack! Hah. I don't think that the Shephard Family will be in the rest of the story very much. I'm planning on doing just a few more chapters. Please review! **


	18. Chapter 18

Sawyer and Clementine spent the day together. When they got home, Sawyer could tell that the rest of the kids were jealous of the time he spent with Clementine. Kate was in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready, but Angelina was sitting on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Mom!" Maya exclaimed. "I don't want meat loaf!"

"Maya quit being such a brat," Aaron said. "Shut up."

"No!" she screamed. "Don't say shut up you butthead!"

"Hey!" Sawyer exclaimed. "What the hell is going on in here?!"

Maya and Aaron both stopped yelling. Angelina continued to scream and cry. He walked over toward her and picked her up. She kept crying and was hitting him and pushing him away. He gave up and put her back down. She crawled toward Kate and patted her on the legs. "Up!" she yelled. Kate sighed and picked her up.

"Can you just take the kids out of here?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Come on guys. Leave mom alone."

"But dad, I don't want meat loaf."

"Shut up Maya," Aaron said again. "Just shut up."

"Stop saying that to me!" she whined.

"Both of you shut up and get out of the kitchen right now," Kate said.

They left the kitchen and went into the living room. Sawyer could still hear Angelina crying. He sighed softly and looked at Maya. Maya and Jimmy both wanted to sit in the same chair and they began fighting.

"Stop it," he said. "You guys are giving me a headache and I've been here for 3 minutes."

"I'm bored," Jimmy said.

"Well," he sighed. "Then find something to do…but not fighting."

Sawyer walked back into the kitchen and over to Kate. She was still holding Angelina and rocking back and forth. Sawyer walked toward her and ran his hand down her face.

"Get me outta here," she whispered.

"Go on," he said. "Go upstairs and take a nap."

"You want me to take a nap?" she chuckled. "In this house?"

"They're going to shut the hell up," he replied. "I can promise you that. I'll take Angie."

"I think she misses her parents," she whispered. "I mean, she's starting to get used to us, but-"

"Just go on," he interrupted.

"What about dinner?" she asked.

"I'll finish it," he said.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm fine. Just keep them in the living room."

"Ok," he whispered and kissed her lips softly and quickly. He took Angelina from Kate, which triggered her to scream louder.

"No!" Angelina screamed.

"Come on darlin'," he sighed. "Mommy is making dinner."

He carried Angelina back into the living room and sat down on the couch with her.

"Hey guys," Sawyer started. "Let's make Angie laugh. She's sad."

The spent the rest of the time before dinner trying to cheer up Angelina and make her laugh.

Later that night Sawyer and Kate said goodnight to the kids, and then went into their own bedroom. Kate laid down on the bed without getting out of her clothes. He looked at her and chuckled softly.

"Those kids are exhausting," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Why did we have so many?"

She laughed softly and shook her head.

"Because I wanted a little girl," she answered.

"Now we have 3," he said. "We really should try to go visit Clem more often. I took her to see Juliet and Nora today. I think she felt bad."

"Probably," she nodded. "Taking her to see two kids with no dad. She probably felt lucky to have you."

**2 Years Later**

The plane landed and skidded on the runway. Angelina grabbed Kate's arm and hid her face against her. Kate put her arm around Angelina and looked at Sawyer. Aaron, Jimmy and Maya were sitting on the other side of the aisle. Aaron was tapping his foot rapidly.

"Are you nervous?" Jimmy asked. "Stop moving. The plane already landed."

"Clementine is picking us up," he answered.

"You guys are gonna get married," Maya said mockingly.

"Do you think that's true?" Kate whispered to Sawyer.

"God, I hope not," Sawyer said. "Just a little bit gross."

"No it's not," she shook her head. "They didn't grow up together. And Aaron's had a crush on her for years."

"I still don't like it," he mumbled.

"Well you know both of them," she began.

"Yeah," he nodded. "They're both my kids. It's weird Kate. You don't think it's weird?"

"Maybe a little," she smirked.

They got off the plane and walked to baggage claim. As they were waiting for their bags to come down the chute Kate heard excited screaming. She turned around and saw Clementine running toward them. Sawyer turned around too and started walking toward her. Before he reached her, Aaron ran in front of him and flung his arms around her.

"Hey," he whispered. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she chuckled. "It's good to see you Aaron."

"Baby!" a voice said behind Clementine. "Slow down-hey."

Aaron let go of Clementine when the guy came out from behind Clementine. He quickly let go of her hand and walked back to the baggage area. Sawyer stepped toward Clementine and hugged her softly.

"You gonna introduce us to your friend?" he whispered into her ear.

"Daddy!" Angelina said behind him. He turned around and picked her up.

"You remember Clementine right?" he asked. He made sure that the family saw her more often. They spent school vacations with Clementine, whether she came to their house or they went to hers. Angelina nodded and then reached over to hug Clementine.

"Um," Clementine began. "Yeah. Dad, this is my boyfriend Todd."

"Boyfriend huh?" Sawyer asked.

"Be nice," Clementine said.

"You didn't have a boyfriend when we came for winter break," he argued. "Why didn't you tell me? I mean…how long-"

"We went to prom together dad," she responded. "He took me to prom. And I'm going to be graduating next week, you can't tell me what to do anymore."

"Fine," he mumbled.

"Let's just go," Aaron said shortly, pushing past both Clementine and the new boyfriend Todd.

"What's the matter with him?" Todd asked.

"I'll tell you later," she whispered.

They drove to Clementine's house. The kids were all going to share one room, while Sawyer and Kate got a separate room. Clementine tried to catch Aaron's eye several times on the drive home, but he refused to look at her.

When they got home Clementine waited outside and shoved Aaron against the car.

"What is your problem?" she asked.

"We've been talking back and forth for 2 whole years Clementine. We call each other and we e-mail and send each other stupid facebook messages. I just-I thought-never mind it doesn't matter what I thought because apparently I was very wrong."

He pushed her off of him and walked up the steps to the house. Clementine sighed softly and shook her head.

"Clem," Todd said softly. "Do you want to come to my house tonight? I'm throwing a party for graduation. My parents won't be there."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"If you want to bring the shrimp you can," he replied. "Maybe if he met some seniors he could get laid and get away from you."

"Stop," she scoffed.

"I just heard you guys talking," he continued. "I mean-he's in love with you isn't he."

"I don't know," she whispered.

"That's disgusting!" he exclaimed. "He's your brother!"

"But not really," she shook her head. "We're not blood related at all. And for the first 16 years of my life, I hardly ever saw him. I didn't grow up with him as my brother. Even my half siblings aren't really my-I mean they're related to me, and I love them, but…I don't know it's weird."

"I love you Clem," he whispered.

"I love you too," she answered and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Sawyer looked out the window and started pacing. He looked at his watch as the two continued to kiss. Kate stopped him from walking back and forth and put her hands around his waist.

"Stop," she whispered and kissed him softly. "Leave them alone."

"It's my little girl out there-he's trying to cop a feel!" Sawyer exclaimed as Todd's hand moved lower. Kate stopped Sawyer from hitting the window with his hand to stop them.

"I know," she nodded. "But she's 18. She's not a little girl anymore Sawyer. She's got a boyfriend. And y'know they might even be-"

"Don't even think that," he shook his head.

"Well when did you start having sex James?" she asked. "You better get with it."

"Cassidy!" he exclaimed and walked into the kitchen where Cassidy was getting drinks for everyone. "Do you let Clementine have sex in this house?"

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"Dad!" Maya exclaimed. "Eew!"

"Did you know that they're out there kissing and touching?" he asked.

"It happens Sawyer," Cassidy answered. "She's a teenager. And believe me…I don't let them do anything. They're not allowed in her room when he's here, and he doesn't spend the night or anything, but Sawyer, I'm sure if they want to have sex, they'll find a way."

"I'm leaving," Maya, said, exasperatedly. She walked into the front hall, where Aaron was sitting on the steps going up stairs. She sat down next to him and sighed.

"What do you want?" he asked. "To make fun of me more for having a crush on Clem?"

"No," she shook her head. "Just wanted to know if you were ok?"

"Not really My," he sighed. "I love her."

"Of course you love her, she's our big sister," Maya said.

"No," he argued. "No…Maya you don't understand. She gets me like no one else. We stay up till 3:00 in the morning just talking. And-remember how dad was telling us how he knew he loved mom?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"He said that she was the first thing he thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last thing he thought of before he went to sleep at night," she began.

"And?" he asked.

"And he knew he loved her when she was covered in dirt with messy hair and she still was the most beautiful woman he had ever met, but Aaron-"

"Remember when we came to visit during Christmas this year?" he asked.

"Yeah, duh," she nodded.

"We went sledding and her hair was all messed up from her stupid hat and she was all sweaty and she-" he began. "I'm in love with her. I know I'm a couple years younger than her, but I'm still in love with her."

The door opened and Clementine came into the house. Aaron got up and went up the stairs. Maya looked at Clementine and sighed softly.

"What'd I do?" Clementine asked.

"You didn't do anything Clem," Maya sighed. "He's just-"

"Aaron!" Clementine exclaimed. She ran up the stairs after him and shoved him to the ground before he could go into the bedroom.

"What was that for!?" he yelled.

"For being a jerk!" she exclaimed.

"You told me that Todd was taking you to the prom, but you didn't tell me what happened after," he said. "Are you two having sex?"

"That is none of your damn business," she scoffed. "I came up here to tell you that Todd invited you to a party that he's throwing tonight."

"Sure," he nodded. "Sounds like fun."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Got any hot friends?"

"Aaron," she sighed. He thought that she would smile, but she didn't. She got up and went into her bedroom and slammed the door. He got up and went back down the stairs.

"Aaron pick me up!" Angelina said.

"No," he said. "I don't want to."

"Please!" she whined. He sighed and picked her up to take her into the kitchen with everyone else. The kids were sitting at the kitchen table. The adults were standing at the island talking.

"Aaron tell Miss Cassidy thank you for letting us stay here," Sawyer said.

"Thank you," he mumbled. "Dad, I'm going to a party with Clementine tonight."

"With her?" Kate asked.

"Well, not 'with her'," he answered. "But she invited me so I'm going."

Later that night Kate and Sawyer went into the kids' room. They were all laying on the floor together. Angelina was in the middle, and Jimmy and Maya were both reading back and forth between them aloud. Angelina looked like she was about to fall asleep, but as soon as she heard Kate and Sawyer coming into the room, she jumped up and started wanting to play.

"Way to go mom," Jimmy said. "We almost had her asleep."

"Sorry," Kate whispered. "Come on baby, go lay back down."

"No," she whined. "I want Aaron."

"Aaron's not here," Sawyer said. "So you get all of us instead. So let's all lay down."

Sawyer turned the light off and laid down in the spot that Angelina had been sleeping in. He settled himself in the spot and sighed softly.

"No daddy," she chuckled. "My bed!"

Angelina jumped on top of Sawyer and forced her way into the spot instead. Sawyer looked at her and smirked.

"Goodnight," he whispered and got up. Kate bent down and kissed the kids and then they left the room and shut the door, but not all the way. Kate stopped in the hallway and looked at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he said. "Don't worry about Aaron. Aaron's gonna be just fine."

"I just don't know about him going to this party Sawyer," she whispered. "I don't want him drinking and getting drunk-"

"He's gonna drink regardless Kate," he said. "If he's going to drink, then he'll find a way. And he's going to be there to protect Clem. I for one am glad he's going. I think he'll keep his cool more than Clementine will."

"Yeah," she mumbled.

Aaron and Clementine went up the steps to the party together. Before Clementine opened the door, Aaron grabbed her by the wrist.

"I know that I'm probably just some dumb kid to you," he whispered. "I'm two years younger than you and still in high school, so it must mean that I know nothing about life."

"Aaron-" she started.

"Just let me get this out dammit," he began again. "I'm in love with you. I will always come back to you because I love you so much Clementine. But right now, I don't like you. I'm not going to be hanging all over you at the party. And by the way you look like a complete skank in that outfit."

He went into the house without Clementine. She sighed deeply and then followed him, but didn't feel any better about herself.

Throughout the night they kept looking at each other from across the room. They both kept drinking. Aaron found a girl which made Clementine extremely jealous. She was in the kitchen with a few of her friends, when she heard screaming and laughing coming from the living room. She quickly ran into the living room to find out what it was all about. The girl who Aaron had been hanging out with all night was giving him a lap dance. She had a cowboy hat on that was lopsided and everyone continued to laugh. Clementine didn't know the girl giving Aaron a lap dance, but she already hated her. One of the other girls stood up and whispered something into the "cowgirl's" ear. She nodded, and Clementine didn't have to wait to find out what the second girl whispered. She took the cowboy hat off her head and put it on Aaron's, then she took her shirt off and whispered something into Aaron's ear. No, she wasn't whispering anything. She was licking. He moved his mouth over hers. The girl got up off his lap and took him by the hand, leading him up the stairs. Clementine scoffed softly and then turned toward where Brad was standing watching, and chuckling. She went toward him and put her mouth next to his ear. She didn't lick him.

"Let's go upstairs," she whispered.

"I thought you wanted to wait," he said. "You didn't let me touch you at prom."

"I'm ready now," she answered.

"Great," he smirked. He took her by the hand and they ran up the stairs. They made it to the bedroom before Aaron and the mystery girl made it to a bedroom. Clementine shut the door behind her and locked it. She started unbuttoning the front of her dress slowly. Todd stepped toward her and began helping her. He kissed her lips and neck and down her body. She gasped softly and finished unbuttoning the dress. She slid the dress down her shoulders and stepped out of it. She was still wearing her high heels. She stepped toward him and he backed up. She turned around and sat down on the bed to take her shoes off. He leaned over her and started kissing her again. They started heavily making out. She heard herself moaning and then heard muffled moaning coming from next door.

"Aaron!" she heard moaning again. She didn't hear Aaron moaning, but the girl continued to moan. Clementine wrapped her arms around Todd and flipped them over.

"I'm ready Todd," she whispered. Todd continued to kiss her and then he stopped.

"I don't think you are Clem," he said. "You're in love with Aaron aren't you?"

"No," she shook her head and sobbed softly.

"Yeah you are," he smirked. "Clem, listen. I love you. I'm not going to make you do anything you're not ready for. And I'm certainly not going to make you have sex with me, when I know you're just going to be thinking about Aaron and that girl."

"Todd," she sniffled. He kissed her softly and then sat up and handed her, her dress.

"It's ok Clem," he whispered. "I'm not mad. I'm not some asshole who just wants to screw you. I want to have sex because I love you and because we both want to."

She smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss him. They kissed softly and slowly. She laid down and he laid down on top of her, but stopped kissing her.

"I love you Todd," she told him. "I really do."

"I'm not that sure hon. I mean…what about Aaron?" he asked.

"I was going to leave," she whispered. "I was going to stop, but then you say something like that, and it makes me what to stay and make love to you."

She didn't wait till he could answer before pressing her lips to his again. She ran her hands up his shirt and they kissed deeper. He slowed them down, just in case Clementine wanted to stop. She continued to kiss him and as more clothes began to come off there was a loud knock on the door. The door slammed open and Clementine quickly scrambled off of Todd.

"Clem!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Aaron!" Clementine screamed. "Get the hell out!"

"No," he shook his head. "This is more important. Lexie passed out on the bathroom floor, and she won't wake up."

Clementine quickly got out of the bed and put her dress back on. She ran into the bathroom and the girl he had been making out with was laying on the bathroom floor.

Sawyer and Kate were sleeping soundly. Kate was cuddled into Sawyer's arms. He was snoring softly into her ear, but it seemed to make her sleep rather than keep her awake. Kate's cell phone rang, ringing loudly. They both woke up violently. Kate reached over Sawyer and picked up the phone from the bedside table.

"Hello?" she whispered.

"Mom," Aaron said. He sounded upset.

"Yeah," she said softly. "What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital," he answered.

"What?!" she exclaimed. "Which hospital?"

"County, but mom-" he started, but she hung up the phone and sighed deeply.

"He's at the hospital," she said.

"What?" Sawyer replied, sitting up and holding Kate by the shoulders to stop her from shaking. "Was Clementine with him?"

"I don't know," she shook her head.

"Why was he there?" he asked.

"I don't know!" she exclaimed.

"Ok," he sighed. "Come on. Let's go."

They both got up and quickly got into some clothes. Kate left the bedroom and ran down the stairs. Sawyer went to Cassidy's room to get car keys. She was also freaked out, but agreed to stay at the house with the kids, while Sawyer and Kate went to the hospital. She quickly told Sawyer how to get to the hospital.

They drove quickly and were there within a few minutes. Kate ran down the corridor and found Clementine and Aaron both sitting in the chairs.

"Aaron!" Kate exclaimed. He quickly stood up and ran toward her. She hugged him and sighed deeply. "You scared me half to death. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he answered.

Clementine stood up and hugged Sawyer. She started crying immediately. He sighed and hugged her tightly.

"What happened Clementine?" he asked softly.

"She's dead," she sobbed. "She's dead. And I almost had sex, but I didn't because she's dead."

"Whoa what?" Sawyer asked.

"Me and Todd," she sniffled. "We were going to-and then Aaron knocked on the door, and then-she's dead."

The drive home was silent. When they got home, Clementine went upstairs to her bedroom. Aaron didn't go upstairs. He looked at Sawyer and Kate.

"We didn't have sex," he said. "We were going to and then she started feeling sick. She started puking and then she stopped."

"It's ok Aaron," Kate stated. "Just go to bed."

Aaron went upstairs but instead of going to the spare bedroom where all the other kids were, he went into Clementine's bedroom. She looked up from her pillow. Tears were still streaming down her face. Aaron sat down next to her and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"You didn't kill her," she sniffled.

"I'm sorry I was so damn jealous," he sighed. "But-I just thought-I don't know what I thought. I just-I know it's screwed up. I know that my dad is your dad, an that makes it sick and everyone has been making fun of me, but I can't help how I feel Clem."

"Neither can I," she said. "Aaron, you're sweet. You're a really good guy. And I think that has a lot to do with Kate and dad…but-I love Todd. He's my boyfriend. Do you know what he said to me tonight? I stopped, and he told me that he could wait as long as I needed. His goal isn't to just get into my pants."

"Are you saying that it's mine?" he scoffed.

"No!" she exclaimed. "No. That isn't what I'm saying Aaron. I'm just saying that he loves me too. He cares about me. And I see him way more than I see you. I don't see how we could ever even be together when you live in Michigan-"

"You're going to U of M next year…less than 3 months right? You'll be living in Ann Arbor, and if I'm not mistaking, you're staying with us for the first year. Where is Todd going?"

"Ohio," she answered.

"Tell me that you don't feel anything for me, and I'll leave your room," he said. "But if you have even an ounce of-"

"Aaron I don't love you," she shook her head. "Not that way. I care about you…but even though we never see each other…you're still like my brother. I love you like a brother, but that's all."

"Fine," he sighed. He got up and left the bedroom without saying anything else. Clementine groaned and laid back down on her bed. There was a knock on her door and she sighed deeply.

"Go away Aaron!" she yelled.

"Clem, it's dad," Sawyer said. Sawyer came into the room and sat down on the bed next to her. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so glad that you're ok."

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Then why do you look like you're not?" he asked.

"Because a girl is dead dad," she answered.

"Why did Aaron just leave here making a whole lotta noise?" he questioned.

"Dad, what's with the third degree?" she asked. He glared at her and waited for an answer. She blew out a sharp breath and shook her head. "He's mad at me because I'm in love with Todd. He wants me to spend my time pining after him, but that's not gonna happen. I don't love Aaron, and he's all freaked out over it."

"Do you love Todd?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she nodded. "I love him daddy. I mean…you couldn't help but love Kate. You didn't love my mom, but that's not your fault. You love Kate. You loved Juliet, but now you love Kate."

"What does this have to do with anything," he chuckled. "I've been with Kate for 16 years. It's very different from teenage love."

"You don't think that I can feel the same way that you feel about Kate?" she asked. "Don't you remember what it's like to be 18?"

"Darlin' when I was 18 the only thing I cared about was money," he replied. "My conning days? Remember? Your momma?"

"Fine," she sighed. "But you stopped. And then you fell in love. I love Todd dad. I want to be with him."

"Ok," he nodded. "I believe you."

Later that week they watched Clementine graduate high school. Aaron avoided Clementine the rest of the trip, until she brought them to the airport, where he couldn't avoid her anymore. They were in the airport and Clementine was looking at him. She sighed deeply and then grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away where they could have privacy.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I hope you're happy," she sighed.

"I'm alright."

"Thanks to you, I can't be with Todd," she said.

"What?" he asked. "You're making absolutely no sense."

"All I can think about is you" she whispered, shaking slightly. "I can't be with Todd, because you're all I can think about."

"What are you saying?" he asked.

"I'm in love with you," she whispered. "I just didn't realize it because-because you weren't here before…but-graduation night, I was going to-we were going to have sex. I'm only telling you this because it was so close…and then I thought about you. So I couldn't do it. I'm in love with you Aaron."

He stepped toward her and kissed her lips. She quickly kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pushed her up against the wall and then backed away.

"See you in the fall," he whispered. She chuckled softly and followed him back to where everyone else was standing waiting to be seen off by Clementine. Clementine hugged everyone else. And then looked at Aaron. She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Wait for me," she whispered in his ear. "Wait till I get there."

He backed away only slightly and kissed her. They all watched as Aaron and Clementine stood there lip locked. Sawyer grabbed Aaron by the back of his shirt and pulled him off of Clementine.

"Ok," he said. "If you're gonna be together fine, but no kissing in front of us."

Maya was laughing uncontrollably as if it was the funniest thing she ever saw. Clementine stepped toward her and shoved her, almost knocking her over.

"Shut up," Clementine scoffed.

"It's about damn time, can we go now dad?" Jimmy chimed in.

"Call me," Clementine whispered to Aaron. He smirked and nodded.

**A/N: I'm gonna do just a couple more chapters. Please review!!!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I was going to try to stretch this out for 2 more chapters, but this one will be the last one.**

**3 Months Later**

Kate walked into the house and went up the stairs. Aaron's door was shut. Maya's was opened and she was sitting on her bed. Kate walked over to Maya and looked at her.

"Is Aaron home?" she asked.

"Yeah, he's in his room," Maya replied.

"Is Clementine home?" Kate asked.

"Did you see her car out there?" she answered smartly.

"Yes," Kate responded.

"Then she's home," Maya said. Kate went to Aaron's door and knocked rapidly. She went to turn the door knob and it wouldn't turn.

"Aaron!" Kate exclaimed. "Open this door right now!"

Aaron opened the door and looked at Kate.

"I was sleeping," he murmured.

"Is Clementine in there with you?" she asked. "Believe me, I know all the tricks in the book Aaron."

"We were sleeping," he insisted.

"You really must think I'm stupid," she said softly. She walked out of the room and back down the stairs.

"Aaron," Clementine chuckled, after Kate left. "We were sleeping? I know that you must think that your mom is pretty stupid, but she's definitely not."

"I don't think that she's stupid," he answered. "I just-"

"We weren't doing anything wrong," she whispered. "We were just kissing."

"Yeah, well knowing my mom she's going to tell my dad that we were doing a lot more than that," he said.

"Well, we know that we weren't having sex," she said. "If she tells him we did…that's her problem."

When Sawyer came home, Kate was waiting in the kitchen. He sat down next to her and let out a soft sigh. He knew something was wrong. He reached out and took her hand.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "What happened now?"

"I think Aaron and Clementine are having sex," she whispered. "He gave me some lame excuse that they were taking a nap, but the door was locked.

"Y'know," he shook his head. "That is exactly why I didn't want them to date. I knew that it would end with them-"

"Well we can't exactly keep them apart," she answered.

"It was working fine when Clementine was living in New Mexico," he said.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "But she's not anymore. So what are we gonna do. House rules aren't going to work, because they'll just find a way around them."

"I don't think we can do anything," he replied. "Just let them make their own mistakes."

"What if she ends up pregnant?" Kate asked.

"God Mom!" Aaron exclaimed. "I told you! We weren't having sex! But we want to."

"What?" Kate asked.

"We're not going to do it with all of you in the house though. What the hell do you take us for?"

"Aaron, you are still in high school," Kate began.

"Really!" he gasped sarcastically. "I totally forgot. I thought that I was going to classes with Clem."

"Don't be a smartass Aaron," Kate said. "You guys really need to-I don't know…I'm worried."

"Clementine isn't going to get pregnant," Aaron replied.

"I'm on birth control," she interjected.

"You're what?" Sawyer asked.

"Dad, I'm 18," Clementine said. "I can go get birth control all on my own. I don't need your permission."

"How long?" he asked.

"I went on it a month ago," she replied. "And only because of my cramps. Did you want to hear that too dad?"

Sawyer turned pink, and closed his mouth. Aaron took Clementine's hand and looked at Kate. Sawyer looked at Kate and shook his head.

"Dad when did you lose your virginity," Clementine asked.

"None of your damn business," he replied.

"How old were you mom?" Aaron asked.

"You're not going to ask either of us about our sex lives!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"I was 17," Kate interjected. Sawyer scoffed and crossed his arms.

"See?" Aaron asked.

"But it was a huge mistake Aaron," she shook her head. "I wasn't in love with him-"

"Well I am in love with Clementine," he replied.

"No, you just think you are," Kate said.

"You can't tell us how we feel," Clementine answered. Clementine left the room quickly and Aaron followed. Sawyer chuckled softly and pulled Kate toward him she sat on his lap and he looked at her.

"Way to go Freckles," he whispered. "They probably just went upstairs to go at it."

"What if she does get pregnant?" she asked softly.

"She won't," he shook his head. "If she's really on birth control, then she won't get pregnant right?'

"Nothing's guaranteed James," she whispered. He looked at her and sighed softly.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" he asked.

"No," she chuckled. "I'm just saying…I don't know. Maybe we should just let it go."

"Not really liking your plan too much Kate," he replied. "We're just going to give them a box of condoms and go 'ok. Go for it.'? I don't think so."

Clementine went into her bedroom. She didn't shut the door because she knew that Aaron was behind her. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her softly, and then she turned toward him and kissed him back. He looked at her and sighed softly.

"I'm glad that you're on birth control," he whispered. "But why didn't you tell me."

"I didn't tell you because it's not true," she sighed. "I only said that to dad to get him to shut the hell up."

"So you're not," he shook his head. "But-I mean I want to-"

"I want to too," she smiled and leaned toward him. She kissed his lips softly. He kissed her back and rolled over on top of her. He looked at her and let out a soft breath.

"We can't," he whispered.

"Well," she chuckled. "Not tonight we can't, but this weekend with Kate and Sawyer gone…we'll have the whole house to ourselves. And we can be together."

"But what about-" he began.

"Condoms," she interrupted. "Aaron we love each other right? So we can do this without feeling guilty."

That night Kate and Sawyer were still disagreeing about Aaron and Clementine. Kate was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. Sawyer came in to the bathroom behind her and then sat on the bathroom sink. Kate looked at him and sighed softly.

"I don't want my little girl having sex with that animal," Sawyer said. Kate laughed loudly and spit the toothpaste into the sink.

"That animal, is also your son," she stated. "I suppose the next thing out of your mouth will be 'that's my boy'. Why is it ok for Aaron to have sex, but not for Clementine."

"It isn't," he answered. "But of all the girls in the world, why did he have to pick her."

"Why'd you pick me?" she whispered. "I mean, Sawyer, maybe we're not being fair. Just because it took us years to find each other, doesn't mean that Aaron and Clementine can't be in love right now. It has been known to happen."

"I know," he sighed. "But I'm still not giving them permission to have sex."

Kate wrapped her arms around him and he slid off the sink. They made their way back into the bedroom. Maya and Angelina were laying on their bed watching TV when they came back out.

"Did you guys hear-" Kate began.

"Shh!" Angelina exclaimed. "Watch!"

Sawyer and Kate both made their way over to the bed where the girls were sitting. They were watching March of the Penguins.

"This was Aaron's favorite movie!" Kate exclaimed. Sawyer chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah," he said. "I remember watching it at least 100 times."

Jimmy heard the conversation in the bedroom and ran in, to sit on the bed too.

"Why is this movie on right now?" Jimmy asked. "It's an old movie."

"Because we put it in mom and dad's DVD player," Maya smirked. They watched the movie as a family. As the movie continued Aaron and Clementine joined them.

"Mommy, is daddy your penguin?" Angelina asked. Kate smirked at Sawyer and nodded. He leaned toward her and kissed her softly.

"Gross!" all of the kids exclaimed at once. They all left the room and Kate turned off the TV. She and Sawyer snuggled under the covers.

"Jeez!" Sawyer exclaimed as Kate put her cold feet against his legs. "I don't think the kids meant, are you actually a penguin. Get those penguin feet away from me."

Kate laughed and did it again. He shoved her playfully and she laughed.

"Why'd you come back?" he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"Why'd you come back?" he asked again.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

"On the island," he began. "When we were all on the island…you and Jack, and Hurley, and Sayid. Why did you come back?"

"Sawyer you can't be serious," she chuckled. "That was 16 years ago."

"And it was a conversation that we never finished," he answered. "I mean…I know that you picked me and whatever, but I just have always been curious. You were going to tell me. You were about to tell me, and then the damn bus drove into the Linus's house. Why did you come back? Was it because of Aaron or-"

"Why do you think?" she asked.

"Because you needed to-" he began. "I don't know Kate. I mean…Aaron I guess. I have a feeling that you weren't going to tell me that it was because of me that you came back."

"At the time?" she asked. "Hell no. You were with Juliet. And you were truly happy. Why would I tell you that I came back for you? I never would have done that to you."

"So?" he asked.

"You said to me," she sighed. "When I wanted to go back to the beach after we blew up the tents and we only heard 2 out of the 3 explosions…you said "there's always someone to go back for". Well you were right. Of course I came back for you. James, you don't understand what pure hell I went through trying to keep the island a secret. Trying to keep Clementine and Cassidy a secret. Cassidy told me that you broke my heart and Aaron was the only way to fix it…but then…there was another way to fix it…going back."

"Did I really break your heart?" he asked softly.

"It didn't feel too great watching you jump out of that helicopter James, but I got over it. Eventually everything was ok…and now?" she shook her head. "James, it's always been you. Angie's right. You are my penguin."

She put her cold feet against his legs again and he gasped.

"I'm buying you a pair of socks," he told her.

**A/N: Please take a sec to review my last chap. I know it was semi-short and probably a little OOC, and very very fluffy. I always have a hard time thinking of good endings. I get to a point where I'm completely stuck and then when I write the end, it always seems rushed. The last part about why Kate initially came back to the island was actually inspired by my friend who just started watching Lost again. I'm going to tell a short story…hah. My friend and I didn't start watching Lost till the middle of the 3rd**** season. We decided to watch all the episodes at once during the hiatus. We ended up becoming completely obsessed. ME a little more so than her. She's always been a Jater, but sort of a Skater too. But the reason she stopped watching was because Charlie was her favorite character. When he died, she didn't want to watch it anymore. But now she's been getting all caught up because she's finally ready. It took her like 3 days to get through all of season 4 and most of season 5. So I told her that the reason why Kate came back was because A: she wanted to get Claire back for Aaron…but B: and more importantly in my book, she went back for Sawyer. And my friend goes "OF course she went back for Sawyer! She loves him!" (mind you this is coming from a "Jater"…and I use Jater in quotations because she has strange Skater tendencies.) Anyway I really wanted to do a little oneshot about why Kate came back, but I decided just to incorporate it at the end. Sorry for the crazy long Author's Note…if you read it then bless you. Again…please please review!**


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